I am recently single, and had been in a long term relationship for a couple years. I just sort of started seeing people again a few months back, and I have really found someone who I enjoy very much so. I really feel a chemistry there between us that I've never felt with someone else before. He is a very VERY attractive man, very solid in his life with a career, college degree, and his own house. Normally, this would be perfect. However, I am an overweight girl. I'm told all the time that I'm beautiful, and very pretty, but I still have this nagging thing inside of my head telling me I'm not good enough for him, and it completely destroys my personality. I really like him, and I know he really likes me.... How can I make myself stop doing this to myself? Why can't I let myself be happy??
2006-12-27 18:34:03 · 6 answers · asked by stephanie j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you have to accept yourself for who you are. you shouldn't care about what you look like, it's hard especially with society these days, but what's there to worry about if he likes you for who you are? that just shows how much better he is then a guy who would go for looks. the beauty is inside, don't worry about how you look, people that matter don't care.
2006-12-27 18:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you worrying about what you look like? If he thinks your beautiful then he isn't just looking at what you look like. You must have an amazing personality for him to think this way. Why don't you do something that makes you feel special? Go Shopping, have you hair done? If you keep on with this negativity your going to lose this guy and by the sounds of things you'll be losing big.
Just relax and enjoy his company. He isnt worried what you look like why should you be. Good luck!!!!!!!
2006-12-28 02:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have an ideal man but not an ideal self image. First of all, you don't feel like he is your equal because you feel inferior to him based solely on your weight. Obviously, your weight does not affect his feelings towards you. Yes, others tell you that you're beautiful; however, it doesn't matter if the whole world bows down on their knee and worship the very ground you walk on if you don't feel like a beautiful queen.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that is obsessed with weight. Although it is true that morbid obesity can hinder good health, it definitely does not hinder beauty. Beauty is definitely culturally influenced. Have you seen Phat Girlz? The movie depicts American society's disgust with obesity but in other cultures being overweight is a sign of wealth and social status.
I find that acceptance (particularly to the things we can't change in whatever it may be in life) holds the key towards peace within ourselves. Then you'll have to reprogram your thinking and give yourself a more positive internal dialogue like "I am pretty" "I am ok with my weight". Those are the first steps towards a healthier self esteem.
I won't tell you to lose weight, but if you do, do it for yourself and do it for health reasons and not because society thinks you should be thin to be beautiful. Good luck to you and congratulation on finding a good man!!
2006-12-28 02:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by Ana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, i am in the boat with you!
We ARE good enough. Hell, those boys are the lucky ones!
If this guy makes you happy and feel beautiful, you'll become less insecure about your happiness. Until then, wake up in the morning and think "I'm confident, successful, and happy". Soon enough, it will be the truth.
The best of luck!
2006-12-28 02:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by sarahliz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It usually has something to do with when we grew up and the roles we were given and the media projects such an impossible image of whats supposed to be beautiful. I am chunky myself and have decided to love who I am and I got a boyfriend while I was chunky. Just tell yourself you deserve him. STOP telling yourself you don't because that is not the truth.
2006-12-28 02:39:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just like you, Lack of self-esteem...
But it shouldn't be any problem. He likes you and you like him. It must be something in you that he fond of. it must be chemistry between you and him. The great looks doesn't make a great couple. The important thing is the thing inside.
2006-12-28 02:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by ★menta★ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋