I am scared?

Question

I am afraid to repeat my parents. My mother said she got married young and right now she says if she was to do it again she wouldn't have married my father and had kids. I dont want to repeat her life. Meaning I want kids but I am afraid to have them becasue I dont want my kids to end up hating me like how I hate my mom. I want my kid to love me but I am afraid it is a continuous cycle.

Answer 1

Just focus on you dont think of how your parents did things. If you see yourself repeating their patern then make a turn. you do not have to go down their route. Good Luck

Answer 2

Your mom sounds pretty bitter. I think you need to make your own way in the world. I would recommend that you don't marry before the age of 25, but that's just because you're still growing and changing alot in your early twenties. When people get married early they sometimes grow apart as they mature. Your parents may have not been financially secure when they had children and this could have helped caused stress, it's hard to say. I think if you wait until your late twenties and early thirties, it's excellent because you're mature, you know what you'll accept in a mate and what you won't, you're a little more financially stable, etc. You can have kids and it'll be different from how things are with your parents. One warning though, all kids at one time or another think they hate their parents...it usually passes. Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm not quite sure how to answer this question. If you are a teenager, you are not alone. It's very common to feel like you hate your parents or parent. It is also common to raise your kids the way your parents raise you. Make pros and cons about your parents. Learn from the mistakes that they make with you and try not to do the same things. Also, learn from the positives and try to reinforce that in your children. Parents do not come with handbooks on how to raise their children. And although your mother says that she wouldn't have married and had kids, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. She is probably trying to save you from the same mistakes that she made. I was a young mom --17 yrs when i had my son. If I had it to do over I wouldn't have had a child so young. That doesn't take away from the fact that I love my son more than life itself. But, I don't want him making that same mistake. Make sense? You may think that your mom is the most horrible parent on earth. Hopefully, your views will change with time. Now that I am older, I have a greater respect for my parents. I understand the sacrafices that were made for me. I also, know that they made mistakes and I try not to repeat them with my own childen,

Answer 4

I don't know how old you are, but you should make a pact with yourself. Make an agreement with yourself that you will not have children until you have been happily married for two years and are at least 28 years old. If you want to be sexually active before that, just make sure you use a good birth control (several if necessary). By that time, you will have been able to have a lot of fun in your twenties and get all that out of your system. You should maybe have a good career or at least the beginnings of one by then. You don't have to make the same mistakes your mom did. Make mature choices. Protect yourself from making bad choices. Never make a decision solely based on feelings. Be smart!

Answer 5

Look, First off, no matter how hard you try some of what you are is a piece of your parents.
So what! People say things all the time because they have regrets.Its too bad because the truth is none of us, including your parents would be the best of what they are without all they did and became.
There is no "rule book" for life. We are all going to make mistakes and some of them mistakes will teach us what not to do again.
Weather wanted or not they are still needed.
Don't ponder so much on trying not to be like something.Cause in most cases the more you try not to be that, you will over think it and end up just like it.
You are going to be different than your mom in somethings and like her in others.Just know that deep in your heart weather you are conscious of it or not at the time,you will be reminded what you don't want to do by how you feel about it in your heart, not your mind.

Answer 6

Make your own choices. It is not a continuous cycle. Don't have sex and you won't have kids. Don't get married or serious and you won't have sex. Simple. Just hold back and make the right choices. Finish school. If you are going to have sex get on the pill at least one month before you have sex or you run the risk of being pregnant before you know it. Your mom is saying some cruel things to you. You don't have to say those kinds of things to your children. Take your time and honour yourself as an individual capable of and deserving of love and affection for the whole of your life. Good luck!

Answer 7

hi there .....oh sweetheart you make youre own future ,sdly it looks like youre mum an dad have not had things easy and i do not really believe that you hate youre mum ,but have a lot of ill felings about what she said ......us mums can say things and not realise that our kids have taken it the wrong way .....ive said something simular to my kids when my marriage broke down that i wish ihadnt had kids to him ,but still wanted the same kids as they are my daughters ....i hope you get what im trying to say there you make youown future and you and how ever is going to be youre partner will not be the same as youre parents all you have to do is love and look after each other and the rest should work its self out ,some relationships dont work and that is sad but dont worry about things that havent happened yet live youre life to the full and go out there and experience all sorts of different things and when you are ready settle down and always remember that you are in control of youre life and no one else so if things do get bumpy as life can be ......make sure that you get in control and get going where you want it to go .......good luck with youre future i know you will makea great sucess of it .....and take care xx

Answer 8

its not. it's just your out look on life. your mom is an idiot. if she didnt marry your dad and not have kids she would be saying the same thing. I should have married him and had kids. but I was too young to know. it's the things in life we dont do that we regret. tell your mom to get bent. kids automatically love there parents. you have to do somthing pretty awful to make them hate you. avoid doing somthing pretty awful and youre set.

Answer 9

just don't get married at a young age...everyone is different too so you have to remember that as well...you should be fine...I feel bad that you hate your mom for that but maybe she feels she has missed out on something...she hasn't said she regrets anything just that she would do things differently and lots of people wish that about many things in life...

Answer 10

Everytime you do something that reminds you of your mom, just tell yourself that whatever you do "I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HER!!!" And also she sounds very unhappy saying that if she could redo her life she wouldn't have married your father and had kids. I really don't think thats something you should admit because that must be really hurtful to hear that.