How can i go on without my dad?

Question

On December 2, 2006, which was a little over 3 weeks ago i lost my dad to a 14 month battle of cancer. I wanted to ask for advice on dealing with this it is hitting me very hard even though i'm still in shock

Answer 1

hi there im so sorry about youre recent loss of youre dad this is still in the early stages of lossing him so of course you will still be in shock and could be for a while yet youre dad had a long battle with cancer so he fought hard and in time youwill come through this and you will learn to live with out seeing him but you will remember him and in time all youre happy memories will come back and all the times that you did something that drove him nuts and all the other times that you both sat and spoke .....youre dad would want you to get over this and move on and live youre life .....if you feel like crying and need to there is nothing wrong with this there are no rules on how to greive ,and if you find that you are able to laugh then do not fel guilty as that would put a big smile on youre dads face s the last thing he would want to see you is up set take care and i hope all the happy memories of youre dad live with you 4ever take care xx

Answer 2

Grief is a process and the first part of it is shock; even when you know it is looming the the future, like cancer, it is hard to accept when it actually happens.

It may be awhile from now but then it will finally hit you and you may sob uncontrollably, which is totally normal as you are releasing your emotions then you experience a sense of panic that you can't go on without them and even experience physical pain.

From their you feel guilty about things you did do or wished you had done and didn't, then you get angry, angry that they have died and left you alone and feel that you can't function and even get out of bed in the morning, but eventually you start to accept the situation and see a light at the end of the tunnel; the light being that the best way to honor their life is to be happy and live your own life.

You never truly get over the pain, but it does get easier with time.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear that. There is a site too few know about for those dealing with death that is pretty good, http://www.memory-of.com I believe it is. If you look on the left side of the home page you will see forums listed where you can talk to others sharing loss online. I found it only because a good friend died of cancer some three months ago and her husband established a memorial to her there.
If you enter the name valerie arroyo you willl see our memorial and may perhaps want to start one for your dad there as well.

Answer 4

I am sooo sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents within six months of eachother. It is very hard but with time it will get easier. Holidays are especially tough. What you have to realize is that he is in a better place and will always be with you in spirit. I still talk to my mom and dad and in my heart they answer back. Do your best to live a great life that would make him proud because he is watching down on you.

Answer 5

Im Very sorry for your loss. My Dad lost his brother to Cancer, as horrilbe and heartbreaking it was, he said; in a small way it is a blessing. At lest we got to say good bye to each other and talk about the old times.

Agin, im sorry

Answer 6

hey i lost someone close 2 me 2 & i really want 2 help u get throught it if u would just e-mail me my e-mail is
[e-mail]
but its my brother who deied he deided at the age of 17 & he deied cause he killed himself but yea... um i want 2 talk 2 u & b a friend 2 u it helps when u talk bout it so please e-mail me by the way my name is destany and i am 13. i also lost a great grandpa of old age, a friend she got hit by a car, and another friend her house cought on fire & she thought her little brother was still n there so she went n 2 look & never made it out.

Answer 7

It is a long process but you will get through it. Celebrate his life, remember all the great and goofy things he did. He is now at peace. You will always feel something missing but it does get easier with time.
If you are struggling try grief coucilling.
Peace

The five stages of grief are:


1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.


2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.


3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.


4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.


5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.


Get help. You will survive. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can't stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to fascilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.

Answer 8

My father handed directly to the excellent beyond while i develop into in basic terms 18 years old. That develop right into some years in the past. I even have controlled to stay devoid of his help yet thank God I had my mom. She develop into there to help help me emotionally while i develop into having complicated situations managing my new child's father. She develop into continually there to help me up while i mandatory her. She handed directly to the excellent beyond somewhat over a year in the past. that is complicated at situations cuz she isn't around to take heed to my woes & delima's of each and daily existence. in case you have father and mom relish even as they're around. with the aid of fact while they're long gone they are no longer coming lower back. & no you could fill the placement of a determine.

Answer 9

I lost my daddy in 1998, and it still hurts. The pain gets lesser, but it never goes away.


Kisses...&....Huggs

Answer 10

i am so sorry for loseing your dad and i loset my mom becaues of the same reson but you will get over it by time and think always that we all will die so we have to go on and pray for him