my bf is always looking at other women, by double taking and staring while he is with me. well we have gone over this a hundred times and i told him how it makes me feel when he does this. well he stills does it and denies most of it, even if he knows i was right in his face and seen him do it. well someone told me to give him a taste of his own medicine and start body checking guys. well its hard for me to do this cause im not that kind of person. what should i do in your opinion? and also why does he keep doing this if he knows it is going to cause big problems and if he knows it hurts me.? and plz dont tell me all men look because its a difference in seeing people and staring at them.
2006-12-27 18:22:18 · 13 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One can only change themselves! If you're insecure, work on it, don't try to fix you by working on him. If he's not happy with you, then he should make up his mind what he wants, and work towards bettering himself. I only say he's not happy because he's still lookin. Don't try to play-act to make him feel bad, he probably assumes you look anyhow, because people judge others against themselves. I know because I was in this exact spot a few years ago. I was still lookin, even though I didn't mean to hurt her. Her insecurity fed the effects, as well as my wandering eye. Knowing I hurt her feelings with it only made me try to hide it, because I assumed "all guys look". I was just justifying my behavior to myself. I wasn't in the relationship I wanted, so I kept looking. Period.
What I'm sayin is that you cannot change him to be happy, since he is not the source of your emotions of insecurity, you are. work on you, not him, and in the end, even if the relationship fails, you'll be a happier person. Hope this helps, if not, feel free to ignore it, lol. Good luck to ya!
2006-12-27 18:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by Mike G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs don't make a right...or so they say, right?
In any relationship, repaying wrong with wrong often works to reinforce--not remove--the bad behavior. It can start setting a pattern of the offensive action as each of you try to outdo one another. Sometimes, it can even give the offender (ie: your guy) a feeling of justification for his own behavior. ("See? You're doing it! Now I can, guilt-free," or "See? _I _don't mind when you do it. Now, let _me_ go about doing it.") Either way...why give that bad behavior ANY more consideration or time?
Respect yourself. Get out. And seriously, never repay bad with bad. You handled it well, talking about it. If he won't listen, you can leave knowing you did all that you could--and should--have.
(And no, not all men look. A glance is one thing. Gawking is something else entirely. Any man that uses that as a defense needs to get out more.)
2006-12-27 18:40:12 · answer #2 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men do look. But if he's doing this in front of you and making it obvious, then he wants you to be upset by it. It bolsters his ego when you act jealous. Just tell him to "go get it" and walk away from him. Shrug your shoulders like you don't care. You don't need to "body check" other guys. Just start talking to them. Your BF should get the message you're tired of it and might move on. And maybe you should.
2006-12-27 18:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible he's doing it to hurt you. He's pushing you because he wants out and that's why he does it even though he knows that it hurts you. If you want to see if you can fix it then try to talk it out with him. Calmly. Ask him why he's doing it. And if he wants to be with you. A lot of times guys will lie when backed into a corner so if you don't yell and get angry, he mught be more honest.
2006-12-27 18:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anime Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, If he's still doing it then it probrably means he really doesnt care about your feelings, and if so, then you may want to consider letting him go. But, if you really want to stay with him, then let him know ONE LAST TIME how you feel about him oggling other women, and if he still persists...then just walk away from him. You don't need someone who has no regard for you and your feelings.
Good Luck! I really hope you get this sorted out! ^^
2006-12-27 18:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two thing you can do. One is to have a one-on-one chat with him and advise him that you'll hurt. If he chose to ignore you then the second thing you can do is drop him. Move on with life. You deserves someone better and not get hurt by this guy.
2006-12-27 18:26:00 · answer #6 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell your a nice honest girl if he cant hold himself to the same standards you hold yourself to you have to question whether you really like this guy or not. If he really doesnt respect your feelings is the relationship worth it
2006-12-27 18:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by Your best friend 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seriously leave him and find a man that will appreciate only you. Don't be wasting your time on some one who is that ignorant.
2006-12-27 18:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him/does he love you? That's the bigger issue here i think rather than a bit of jealousy. There's nothing wrong with looking, as long as he doesn't touch :)
2006-12-27 18:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by skiv_77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not love you enough to care about you and your feelings. I believe you would be better off with someone who does.
2006-12-27 18:26:04 · answer #10 · answered by Alfretz T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋