How can I answer this 3-year-old's question?

Question

Today I was telling my 3-year-old daughter that we were going to visit a friend of mine. She's never met her, and asked me, "Mom, what color is she?".

We never discuss racial differences or anything race-related, so I was a little taken aback at her question, and answered it as innocently as I could. I said, "She has brown hair, dear", thinking that would be enough to satisfy her question.

She then says, "No mom. What color is SHE?"
I'm still a little shocked, but I say as calmy as I could, "She's just like you and me". (we're caucasian).
And my daughter responds, "Ohhh. You mean she's gray like me"???

I don't really know what to make of this. Have other parents had similar experiences with their kids when they realize people come in different races and "colors"? What's the best way to respond to this delicate question?

Answer 1

The question is innocent enough. Explain to her that God made people to come in all colors, and that everyone of those colors are beautiful. Don't give her to much info, it will overload her little mind. (SMILE)

Answer 2

I know where you are coming from. I am white, my husband is black and our 4 year old son is extremely light to be 1/2 black. He assumes he is white b/c his skin is so light. He doesn't understand that since daddy is black, he is 1/2 black too because he can't see the black. When he started school he gravitated towards the black kids because all of his cousins are black. He felt the need to tell all his new black friends that he was black too. We explained to him that he doesn't have to do that, people come in all different colors and we don't pick our friends based off of their color. I am now pregnant again and know that this baby could come out as light as my son did or as dark as my husband is. I don't care as long as the baby is healthy, but if the baby is dark skinned I think my son will finally realize what we have been trying to tell him all this time.

I would suggest going to the library and picking some children's books up on the subject. We have found quite a few books on the subject that we have read with our son.

It's amazing how different the world looks in the mind of an innocent child. Good luck to you. You sound like a wonderful, caring mother!! :)

Answer 3

I think she is a pretty smart cookie to have picked up on that and since she is so smart you should try to reinforce that skin color may look different but it doesn't matter since we all are people. It's important for us younger mothers and fathers not to enforce racial differences if we want to better society. My son is almost 3 and hasn't really made the correlation in races but when he does I want him to accept all skin colors and races equally. With these young kids we want to bridge the gap that has been allowed for too long.

If it were me...I would ask "why do you ask" and I am sure she will have a big story to tell on why she asks and then I would say "that doesn't matter we love everyone even if they are a different color". You will of course have to work with her since she is young but we as parents need to get rid of the diversity that causes so many people to feel unloved or unwelcomed. Good luck with your little smarty and helping her figure out the world so young.

Answer 4

Kimmy and the others who say just answer her questions simply are right.

I would like to add that if she is saying you and she are gray, you could also tell her, "No, dear, we are pink/peach."

I work with pre-k children and I love to eavesdrop on their "race conversations." One kid will ask another "Why are you that color?" and the other will respond "I was born that way" and then the conversation is over. Every now and then they'll come to me with a race question, and 99% of the time "Everyone is different and that's okay" is a sufficient answer. I love how open and frank kids can be! Enjoy that aspect of your daughter while it lasts!

Answer 5

You get a job via using for a vacant place for which you have the needed skills. To make a house oftentimes demands a concrete beginning place, on that's geared up a physique, oftentimes from wood or steel. partitions are then made around this physique, usually utilizing bricks. Then a ceiling is placed on, and a roof is placed over the roof physique, the roof may be made up of tiles, concrete, corrugated iron, etc. Bricks may be created from some quite a few issues. maximum present day bricks are created from clay, that's packed into brick-formed moulds and baked till no longer uncomplicated. Bricks can be created from dirt, oftentimes with some straw to help shop them mutually.

Answer 6

One day walking through the mall my daughter say mom whats that and pointed to a black woman, I said what is what and again she pointed to the woman well I turned beet red and said its a woman, but mom whys she like that and with the ladies help we explained that we are all alike just God made little differences so we can tell each other apart,other wise we would all look alike and you could end up going home with the wrong mommy. since that day she has never cared about the looks of people, and now that shes a teen she has no tolerance for racism and discrimination.

Answer 7

At this age all babies are curious but you have to answer in a way which should not convey any comparative message to them. Its better to tell that color does not mean anything as the God or Nature color everything as per his wish and all human being are the same. You can show her 3-4 leaves and make her understand that all are leaves of trees, but have different colors to make the world beautiful.

Answer 8

Sooner or later all kids realize that people come in different colors, and that is all the explanation they need. "People come in different colors, just like people have different color eyes and hair."

My oldest who is now almost 20 never asked about different color people, but did notice that two of my very dear friends who were a same-sex couple who lived together only had one bedroom. I told her they were "roommates" to avoid the questions - she was the one who wanted to know why they only had one bed. She was 5!
Children are smarter and more observant than we give them credit for!

Answer 9

My son was raised in a predominately white area, then when he was 5 I moved to a new town. The first day of school, he came home and said, "mommy, my speech teacher is brown skinned." I smiled and said, "that;s great.. is she nice?" He went on to tell me about her and that they did fun stuff. At the store he said out loud, "there are a lot of brown skinned people here."
We had a lot of snickers.
It's an innocent question, answer it, and then say something positive about that person, so that you child can associate positive things to people, not just a skin color.

Answer 10

your child's curiosity is a normal thing for her age. she's starting to notice things aside from herself. the best way to respond and give her a good outlook is to protray every race in a good way. you can buy her books with different races in it with pictures and let her ask the questions and that will lead the way. just be open and honest with her, try to keep any predjudices you may have to yourself and just answer her questions. try to be as politcally correct as you can, but not to the ridiculus level our society has taken it, so she doesn't have a faux pas for you in line at the store. this is a phase that will pass very quickly, but the better prepared you are to make it a positive experience for her will show for years to come. don't treat it as a delicate or uncomfortable thing for you, or she will feel that from you. just be honest that's all we can do for our kids.

this is also a great opprotunity to point out that people are made up of feelings and thoughts and should be thought of for that more than their skin color.

Answer 11

Just be honest with her. Tell her what color her skin is.Then be sure to explain that people come in all shapes sizes and color. When my oldest was 3 we were in line at the store and there was a black man in front of us.Now when I say black I do not mean Dark skin or brown I mean Black.My son pipes up and says "Wow mom is that man ever dirty didn't his mommy ever give him a bath?" And I mean loud.Every one turned to look at us to see what I would say.I decided rite then and there that it would be a good time to have that conversation with my son.