He only took me out to eat once. He says that he has already eaten before we go out, but should I have to pay for my own dinner if he has already eaten? He also takes me to a place to make out and that is pretty much all we do, that and foreplay, but he doesnt want sex. Is there something wrong with that? He says that he wants me to be his girlfriend but sometimes I feel like he is using me. I tell him that we need to talk, so a relationship can work through communication, but then it ends up as we dont. Sometimes he will just play around with me, but sometimes I start the foreplay first. What could this be telling me?
2006-12-27 17:58:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's using you. DUMP him.
2006-12-27 18:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by slick chik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you would expect for him to pay for dinner if he hasn't asked you out for dinner and he has already eaten. Do you expect that other people should be paying for you to eat? Now if he specifically ASKED you out for dinner that is totally different, then yes he should pay. If YOU ask him out for dinner then YOU should pay. As for the intimacy issues maybe he's not ready for sex. You need to address those issues with him. I think that you are being a little harsh in the judging department, no relationship is perfect and if you put HUGE expectations on it, it will never work.
2006-12-28 02:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your relationship is purely physical. You don't really communicate, you don't really go out to eat or other "dating activities," you just make out.
Purely physical relationships are unhealthy for a number of reasons. First and foremost, in any long-term relationship (the example here being marriage), you spend a lot more time doing things other than kissing, making out, or having sex. You spend a lot more time just hanging out with each other, doing actual activities, and living your daily lives. Basing your relationship on only the physical is unrealistic and unfulfilling.
Secondly, you are right in saying that communication is important. It is one of the things that holds a relationship together. You need to be able to relate your thoughts, ideas, wishes, and everyday things to each other. The only way to get good at this is to practice.
Thirdly, you're starting down a slippery slope. Pretty soon just making out will get boring, and -- since you don't really DO anything else -- it will progress physically, possibly to a level which is inappropriate and may cause other problems.
Why do you sometimes start it first? It's my guess that you like the attention, and you're at somewhat of a loss as to what to do. Since that's the basis of your relationship, when things get boring, you figure, "ok, well, let's do this then." Not good.
As far as paying for dinner, I think that it just shows the importance of your relationship to him (not very!) as well as your level of communication (very low!)
My advice: get rid of him. It's an unhealthy relationship, and it doesn't sound like he'd be willing to make any effort to fix it.
2006-12-28 02:05:44 · answer #3 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesnt sound like you care very much for yourself, otherwise you would not let a man use you like this. Take a look in the mirror, tell yourself that you are better than that. Square your shoulders and get on with your life and totally forget about this looser of a man. Someday when you least expect it you will come across the one that you are meant to be with. If you have doubts about someone, then it is not a good relationship.
2006-12-28 02:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Gary S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're able to find this one with no problem, please let me know. There's nothing wrong with that and maybe he might be a virgin which I doubt. If he was using you, sex would have been the first thing out of the way and will always be about sex. Maybe he's broke or something and it's really hard for guy to talk.
2006-12-28 02:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by junior's700 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..i dont think there's anything wrong with not goin out on typical "dates"...i never do that..we go on hikes..we go for walks..we go do random stuff...we meet up if one of us want to buy something...but NEVER went out on a typical date type of thing..we dont even go to movies unless we're going in a frndz grp thing..so its totally ok if he doesnt take u 2 eat..
i also have the same thing as u..sometimes we play around but we never did..and never will..have sex...but its me who doesnt want it not him..but it balances out if we're going on a 2hour hike or something..we'll talk for a long enuf period of time..then maybe play around..MAYBE...so the fact that this is all you do and that u don't really talk means only one thing..DUMP HIM..or if the relationship is good..talk to him about it..tell him u don't like it and that you're not really comfortable with it..
good luck
2006-12-28 02:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
:(
Maybe you just need to get out of the relationship.
i've been in situations that were kind of similar...ish. lots of making out and such and not a lot of relating and conversing. lol
if you want to talk about feelings you're going to have to find someone else. maybe he'll figure it out later on in life, but they do not have sudden revelations about sharing their feelings.
i don't really mind paying for myself. my ex we kind of alternated... sometimes i paid and sometimes he'd just pay for me, it wasn't ever something we talked about. i hate to say it but we're in the 21st century now, and girls want to be treated like we're independent, and consequently we have to act independently. though i will still say there are quite a few chivalrous boys out there still that are willing to open every single door your happen by and put down every dime.
2006-12-28 02:05:21 · answer #7 · answered by Amelia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hun. he is using u if u dont even go out on real dates. talk to him bout it if u already havnt and tell him u want a romantic dinner out. a movie or something. not just some halfway hookup...
2006-12-28 02:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by Traci Alise 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No shouldn't have to pay your own dinner. Yes he's using you . If you ask me more than likely he's a homosexual.
2006-12-28 02:10:39 · answer #9 · answered by Busgy Lanksy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him but if that leads no wear then u should move on. he would be just using u and if u want to be used then move on. good luck and happy holidays.
2006-12-28 02:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by Joho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His actions are telling you he isn't serious about commitment, or that maybe he is afraid it. You said it yourself, he is playing around with you!
2006-12-28 02:01:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋