okay i've been seeing a guy for a little over a month. we kiss and enjoy the **** out of eachother but there's no sex. when i'm with him i really enjoy his company. we talk about not knowing where this is going but we both like eachother a lot. he's made a comment if i was to talk to anyone else he'd feel hurt at this point.
so i go and **** the **** out of a new guy christmas night. and a few times again the next. i don't want anything but sex from the second guy. but i feel like i cheated on my first. part of me tries to justify it by saying we have nothing set in stone. if he really wanted to be with me he'd have made it more obvious by now.
but the smarter part of me knows how fuc ked up what i did was. i really like guy number one. it just feels right when were together. then he leaves and i do that??? am i completely horrible? i've never cheated on any of the men in my life. it's not my style. what is my issue? do i tell him? please be nice........: o )
2006-12-27 17:44:17 · 37 answers · asked by liketoplay420 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know its cheating, because it feels like you're cheating. What you do about it is up to you. Personally, I'd tell him that I was dating other men and that if he wants to be monogomous he should declare it to me now. Its not fair for him to dangle you on the line without clearly stating what he wants. So be honest and demand honesty from him. good luck
2006-12-27 17:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know, it sounds like you might have learned a lesson from this, but then I reached the end of your post and realized that you really haven't. This is something that YOU need to think through. You've made the mistake. You've put yourself into a situation that just might have possibly ruined the best relationship you may have been in in your whole life. Always take time to think before you leap. Think about what is going to make you happy in the long run. Not just what might be nice to have for a short while.
2006-12-27 17:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is not cheating, however there are some variables to look at. you like the first guy and not sure what your dating boundries are, but a month into the dating why no sex? is it a mutual decision to wait? if so then why go after another guy for just sex? your guilt is based on something or your deep feelings for the first guy. personally if there is no dating committments to the first guy I wouldn't tell him anything unless he asks or your conscience gets the best of you. I do hope you took precautions in having sex and protected yourself so that if down the road you do have sex with the first guy you don't have a STD. good luck my dear
2006-12-27 17:58:12 · answer #3 · answered by cattledog_vinnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most relationship go under because of lack of communication. You should have told the first guy that you are looking for more in a relationship. Its not a crime to want sex its your right and you have to ask for it from the right person. Tell him the truth and if he understand and forgive you then tell him how you feel and how much you want to have sex with him that way you will not be tempted to sleep with another guy.
Good luck and by the way that was an excuse
2006-12-27 17:58:47 · answer #4 · answered by auntsid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it was cheating because like you said, you have nothing set in stone. He's not your boyfriend. If you're feeling bad that's probably because what you did was wrong (though it wasn't cheating). If you intend on staying with guy #1 then you should tell him. You don't want him to find out later on; it may hurt him even more. My guess is: you had sex with this other guy because you were feeling him and craving sex. Next time try to have better self-control; you don't want to give guy #1 anymore reasons not to trust you with his feelings or just trust you period.
2006-12-27 17:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by miss_lady404 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both have not agreed to be exclusive, it is not cheating. Because of that, no, I would not tell him as if he wants to he is also free to be intimate with someone else and not tell you.
Because you feel you have cheated in your heart, it would be best to end it with the 2nd guy and cut off all contact and focus on working on the relationship with the first guy and see if he is ready to make an exclusive commitment...as he made the comment that he would feel hurt if you talked to someone else, it sounds like he is ready, but commitment is a two way street...he needs to say he isn't going to see anyone but you if he truly feels that way.
2006-12-27 17:52:22 · answer #6 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to this. I wouldn't tell him as it would most likely crush him and destroy your relationship. We can't change the past. Go forward, and redouble your efforts to make things right with the guy you want to be with and be true to yourself. Ask yourself the tough questions such as is this person right for me and why? If he is, great, if not sure, give it more time. There are underlying reasons why you went with guy2 and you owe it to yourself to know them as you move forward. The main thing is to be true to yourself, to love yourself and to understand why you do what you do. I think you may have been confused and let yourself get swept up by the other guy for reasons only you will know. Those reasons if discovered can help you.
Hope this helps. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are only human. Learn from this and grow!
Take care!
2006-12-27 17:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by NeckLover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that's cheating. Guy #1 made it clear that he would be hurt if you talked to anyone else. You went and slept with guy #2 multiple times. You need to sort out what you want. Now your relationship with guy #1 is going to be built on a lie because if you tell him about this he'll be upset and probably leave. Ouch. Why would you do this? Seriously why want casual sex? That's nasty.
2006-12-27 17:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by Principessa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES.and there is no way you can justify it.and if no1 was with you and didn'nt expect sex from you and was willing to wait he is obviously a decent person and deserves better.if talking about someone else would hurt him what do you think this is going to do?
theres an old saying once a cheater always a cheater.
you should tell him the truth and give him the chance he deserves to make a decision from there.
2006-12-27 17:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by BUSHIDO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are with this guy for fun. If you told the first guy right from the start that you were not committed to the relationship, then you did nothing wrong. If you really want to mess around with the second guy then I would tell him that nothing is set in stone. If he chooses not to be with you, then thats his choice and he has every right to make that choice. If you are not committed to the relationship and the other guy knows right from the start, then no, its not cheating. I hope this helped.
2006-12-27 17:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋