Hi.
Ive beenwith my bf for 2 yrs...he's my first love...I really love him alot..and I know he loves me...I always want him to bring me out for dinner and stuff.......and he never does...or I want him to be equal with the sex stuff..and he's not always..he's mean to me alot...but we have our good times..and no matter how much we fight we can't stop gettign back with eachother..he's goign to jail (for somethign he didnt do) and I know it sounds stupid but he really didnt do it,,,He's goign for 2 yrs...I love him so much I told him and his family I would wait..I cant stand how he treats me I dont know what to do or say....can u give me advice??? besides "break up with him??" Thanks alot its really appreciated.
2006-12-27 17:39:37 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
spend time alone and re-evaluate you and your bf's relationship.
ask yourself,
do i really want to be treated like dirt by him?
can my hormones and needs be put on hold for him?
is he really worth it all?
use that time to decide the direction of your relationship.
2006-12-27 17:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ms. I am A 53 yr. old retired police officer, and the first thing I can tell you 2 yrs is a long time. 2nd he will not come out the same guy he was, more then likely worse do to all the bad influnces there. So if he's mean now he will be meaner later and end up back in jail. not good for you or any kids you would have. I am only saying these things do to what I have seen over the years. You have to make the choice no one can force you to do anything . So step back take a hard look at the question mark in your mind. I think your smart enough to ask it, so as hard as it is you know what is best for you. It is the rest of your life................Greg
2006-12-27 17:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by gregory s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course you don't want some one to tell you what you don't want to hear. That's natural but in truth maybe you should finally listen.
I don't know how old you are for sure but I got an idea its somewhere around 16. And you know what? Just like everyone else I was there once and thought I was in love and it was forever and all that.From the age of 16 to the age of 25 I may as well been a whole different person because, WOW! Did I learn alot, and realize that what I thought at 16 to be real and what I new to be real at 25 were sooo far different of each other.
Girl I know you think your all grown up and have an idea in your mind of what your life is going to be like,but I am here to tell you.. you ain't seen nothing yet.
He is going to jail and regardless how much you think you love him,two years is alot of change weather you want to see it with eyes open or not.
For now, go to bed and think what you want.tomorrow is another day and 2 years of tomorrow is going to be a whole lot different than you have the ability to perceive.
2006-12-27 17:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. so I won't tell you to break up with him, because that is really something that you need to decide on your own.
Your story in the details you gave is chock full of over-compensating excuses for your loser bf.
1) "I always want him to bring me out for dinner & stuff, & he never does"
2) Not equal on the sex stuff
3) "I can't stand how he treats me"
4) "He didn't do it" Stop kidding yourself, that's what they all say. The prison systems are all full of "Innocent" men & women.
Wow what a catch!!! Really worth waiting 2 years over.
What's not to love? Is it his selfish love making? His lousy dates? Or his crummy attitude towards you, that makes you love him so much?
You've already wasted 2 yrs on this loser, & now you want to turn it into 4.
So don't break up with him, no he's a keeper for sure!
I am sure 2yrs in the Pen will make him a better partner for you. Maybe he'll reward your devotion to him with a couple of serious drug or alcohol induced beatings when he finally gets out.
Something to look forward to.
Sorry for all of the self-indulgent sarcasm Honey. Just trying to give you a wake-up call.
Hope you come to your senses before he gets out.
2006-12-27 17:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a one sided relationship and no matter how much you think he loves you, actions speak louder than words. If he's going to jail, there's not much you can do there. Not to be mean but once someone starts going to prison, odds are, they'll keep going back. It's pretty painful to stick by someone who ends up in jail whether they did something to land there or not. Jail/prison will change him and you have to ask yourself if that's something you want to deal with. Despite the jail thing, your boyfriend sounds pretty self centered and a relationship won't really last if one person is self centered. Your best bet is to take this time that he's in prison to go out with others and don't promise you'll wait for him. Be real. Your life will go on and he can't hold you back from that. Don't date too soon, just date when you're ready. You don't owe it to him to wait for him. Sorry to be harsh but that's the truth.
2006-12-27 17:45:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is he going to jail for 2 years (for something he didn't do) ?
See the reason and truthfulness of his declaration. I am feeling sorry to ask you ' Will you like to be called as a wife of a person who was in jail'? If yes you can hang on. If No then break up and find a new and suitable partner and live happily.
2006-12-27 18:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, breaking it off would be one solution that you might not want to do, but think of it this way, love is all about give and take, and if he treats you like dirt, then what fun is that? sure you guys might have some good times, but if he's really mean to you and whatnot, the relationship then turns abusive. Dont get hurt in the end
2006-12-27 17:56:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl get real. I know you probably love him but, he treats you like that because you let him. I have been through this and he probably does love you but the way you all treat each other is all you all know. I have gotten past my first love and I would be withhim today if we could be together but apparantk=ly he doesn,t want it as much as I do. And 2 years is a long time to wait...... So good luck
2006-12-27 17:48:09 · answer #8 · answered by vickielynnperry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no you shouldn't!
Any man who mistreats you shouldn't even have the luxury of you writing him! If he says he loves you as much as he does... Why does he disrespect you like that? It seems like he's a selfish guy... and I bet he's also a selfish lover in the bedroom... It's all about him!
He's going away to prison... Why wait? If you were in his situation (hopefully not) would he wait? I highly doubt it...
You don't want to hear the "break up with him" but nothing is going to make this situation all fuzzy roses...
He'll be in prison and totally not thinking about you until night time in his cell... or until he finds himself a new friend
Have some self-respect Sweetie & kick his trifiling *** to the curb!
2006-12-27 17:44:42 · answer #9 · answered by I wanna have a midget :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think like u were him...wut would u feel? he needs ur support !
if u break up , im really sorry for u cuz that's not real love and it means u just want him for having fun or it's better to say for fun times and now he is goin to jail which means no fun to you, so u want to break up? im really really sorry for u, at least that is not a real love so find someone else...poor that guy!
when u really love someone, you would never leave the person alone and u would like to be with him anytime and help that person !
2006-12-27 17:48:25 · answer #10 · answered by Ali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't just say break up with him, but girl, listen to YOURSELF. You are making excuses for him and not even full realizing it.
"he's mean to me alot."-That right there should be sending triggers through you right now. A relationship isn't HEALTHY if your boyfriend is "mean" to you alot. How is that functional?
"and I know he loves me."- Are you trying to convince us, or yourself?
"I cant stand how he treats me I dont know what to do or say"- You said it yourself, you can't STAND it.
Be independent. I know you think you love him, but can you really live like this for the rest of your life?
2006-12-27 17:45:15 · answer #11 · answered by Tasha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋