ok im 18 yeaars old and still a virgin i havent done anything with a guy becides kiss because i want to make sure they like me for who i'am and not looking for a quick hook up. But it seems like all the guys i date all there interested in is sex,ect and im not like that my relationships usually only last two weeks to two months because all guys i date are ***'s and ive always dated older guys that may be the problem but younger guys are too inmature and hard to be with. I always make it clear to the guy when i get with them. I fell like thats all guys are looking for so i havent dated in a while. any advice that can help my sitituation please let me know.
2006-12-27 17:34:21 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i respect my self to the fullest and will wait for the right guy to come along but im just scard when he dose i wont notice and let him go!!!
2006-12-27 17:46:24 · update #1
the guys i usually date are 1 to 4 years older.
2006-12-27 17:49:29 · update #2
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR GUYS HELP I REALLY APPRECHEIATE IT.
2006-12-28 12:22:29 · update #3
Don't lose your virginity until you are emotionally and physically ready to deal with the ramifications. I'm quite a bit older than you, but I hear a lot of how I was at 18--actually a few years older. Didn't lose my virginity until I was ready to--in my early 20s. When you meet the right guy, he will respect your choices. Sounds to me like all you have met are ***s, unfortunately there are a lot of those out there and they aren't worth it. Don't count out all the younger guys out though. I dated older guys 6-8years older and then I ended up marrying a guy a year older than me who respected my decisions and was more mature than any other guy I had ever known. Just don't be in a rush. You are so young. Live a little for yourself before you get tied down to a guy. Get to know yourself and enjoy your freedom.
2006-12-27 17:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by BookLady 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think its that guys only care about sex- though when I've asked guy friends of mine, they say its always somewhere near the front of their minds. And just so you know, by no means are you being picky or difficult. I have had people tell me that I haven't been in a relationship because I am to picky about the guys I will, or wont, date.
As for advice, I say keep looking. I know thats the crappy easy way out answer, but I mean it. Older guys are for the most part more experienced so it is a bigger part of the picture. Younger guys can be immature but sometimes you do luck out and you have plenty of time to find a guy that fits your style.
I hope that at least helps a little, though I imagine it's advice you've heard before. Don't worry though, you will probably meet "the guy" when you least expect it. So don't go through each day wondering and searching for it. It will happen. :)
2006-12-28 01:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by Rockgirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to disclose that you're a virgin right away. I think it's a fair assessment that most guys want sex, but they're not all looking for a quick hookup. Instead of worrying about if that's all a guy is after, relax and get to know the guy instead. Once you start dating a guy for longer than two weeks or months, let him know how you feel about sex and that you're a virgin. If he takes off, you're better off without him. I do think that most guys will treat you respectfully if you act like you deserve respect so don't accept anything less and relax. You'll meet a great guy when you least expect it and things will fall into place.
2006-12-28 01:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep doing what you're doing. Respect yourself. I know it's hard now but you will regret letting yourself go in this position later on. You won't be happy with a guy that doesn't respect you, and you seem to know that.
Meet guys in stable environments too. Don't go for the party guys that like to drink or go crazy. Find a nice guy that has common interests as you do, and you'll find that sex won't come up nearly as much.
2006-12-28 01:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by Tasha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is a good one out there somewhere. I've been married to my hubby now for 11 yrs. and we lived and slept together for almost a month before we had sex. He felt the same way as you did. Which to be honest with you so did I. And it is a good thing you are still a virgin. That special guy is out there and you will find him one day. Just be patient. You are honest too, and I think that will help you when you do find the right one. If they really love you they are willing to wait. Believe me it is true, old but true.
2006-12-28 01:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by myninny54 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nice to hear another young girl who isn't ready to give it up to just anyone.
You will find in life that most men are only after one thing......sex. Unfortunately they outweigh the decent guys. But don't despair, as someone once told me on here, sometimes you have to go through alot of wrong partners to find the right one.
He will come along when you least expect it. Don't fret over all these guys that take a walk when they discover you won't put out, they are the ones that aren't worth it anyway.
2006-12-28 01:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by loza500 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hahah! I asked this very same question myself not 20 minutes ago.
I'm 19 and still a virgin, and feel the exact same way. Left behind? Well I guess you're not. There are plenty of reasons to stay a virgin, so don't let it discourage you (im eating my words here). There's more to a relationship then sex, so let the love bloom before you move in deeper.
Sex just makes things complicated at our age. Don't fret, you are okay =)
2006-12-28 01:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by Josh 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can definitely relate to what you're saying. All I can say is that you continue to date the men you are interested in and eventually someone will be interested in you for more than just what you can offer sexually. Choosing to save yourself is admirable and one day you will find a man who will see that as the gift that it is. Until then enjoy being single and just getting to know you. This means you can date without the expectation of it going any further and just have fun-and who knows you may accidentally find your Mr. Right in doing this. Good luck-
2006-12-28 01:38:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mille_D-Gurl08 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's okay to be that way.
It's just that you haven't found the right guy to be with, who will respect your wishes.
Guys are more apt to listen to their bodily urges, and though women are not exempt from that, a woman with a brain thinks before she acts.
If the guy likes you for who you are, I think that he will not ask for sex.
It's okay to keep dating...that's courtship and about finding the person for you! :)
But....keep it short and sweet, with no promises, and no obligations. Remember, you're not obligated to anyone unless they are actually married to you.
It's okay to date a lot of guys if you don't have sex with each one of them; if they want sex and you don't, that's their problem. It's about what you want: a person that will see you for who you are, and not for what you 'do' with them.
Never carry it too far, and remain 'just friends' throughout the encounter. Dating is about socializing with the opposite sex. It's about finding the person. You don't have to stop dating because you think that you can't find the right guy....
However, because you kiss them, I think it's why they feel that they can push you further into doing what they want. Try going out with a guy, but don't kiss him throughout the whole relationship.
Body contact and language can say a lot, and many guys may misinterpret it. Kissing would likely be one of them....how you kiss may say a lot about what you're 'feeling' and may make them lean towards the thought of sex, especially after two weeks to two months.
Maybe minimizing contact, and making everything a bit more formal will say more of what you want to convey. Actions speak louder than words, and you may have to do more on your part.
2006-12-28 01:55:38 · answer #9 · answered by JILL 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are doing the right thing by waiting until you are ready. The reality is Men want sex. That is good that you are upfront when you start seen a man that way he knows that you are not going to give it up until your ready. If a man really is intrested in you he will wait for you doesn't matter how long. I had a man wait for me for over 2 years. You have to be a challenge. Men lose intrest when they get what they want so quickly.
2006-12-28 01:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋