i've been married to a marine for a little over a year... but we've only spent about 90 nonconsecuative days together bc of training for deployment and then the actual 6 month deployment. as most couples do post deployment, we got along for 2 weeks and started arguing. (we argued quite frequently before he deployed as well.) we always have made up... no matter how bad the fight.. and i admit to slapping him in the past. today though, he went as far as punching me in the leg (full force, leaving a painful welt) and he twisted my arm back threateing to break it if i touched him. (i had slapped him right before he punched me bc of the things he had said to me, and slapped him again after punching my thigh)... after trying to squeeze my hand tight to try to get the car keys from me, he stormed off to the store when i screamed out of pain. i called the cops and had him arressted for punching me.. he told the cops i slapped him and left out the part about him hitting me (go figure)...
2006-12-27 17:16:20 · 11 answers · asked by lucia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okae.. so my question... he gets out of jail tomorrow morning.. so should i file for a restraining order or not? i dont want him in my home... and he gets paid this week, but i think he'll take the money & not help pay the bills (he's taken my access to the bank account away before... as well as my cell phone and car)... i dont have a job (bc HE told me to wait until JaN after we move into our new place & he wanted to spend time with me since he had 3 weeks off this month bc of returning home.) although i love him more than words can say, nobody will physically hurt me and emotionally abuse me.. so divorce is prominent... but will getting a restraining order make things worse for the divorce.. or is it the smart idea?
2006-12-27 17:19:58 · update #1
i know SLAPPing him was wrong.. but i am under 115 Lbs, and he is over 180... my strength is nothing compared to his (he is trained to kill with his hands) and i have never left any kind of mark on his body... when i am being called a whore, *****, ****.. and being told that my mother doesnt want me, yeah.. im gonna get upset.. upset enough to slap him after begging him to stop verbally abusing me... not to mention he had "playfully" punched me in my neck 10 mins prior at walmart, and punched me in my arm on the way to the car.
im not a violent person... but after everything he said and had done in the past two weeks, a slap was nothing compared to the pain he has made me feel inside and out. and yes.. i dont agree with myself for hitting him... but i would never knock down anyone for spousal abuse.. on either the male or female's account..
2006-12-27 17:33:24 · update #2
Yes, and then cut your losses and say good bye. I don't say this lightly.
Violence always escalates. His and yours.
You need some time on your own and you need to get some counseling to get through your trauma from him, and to work through your own anger issues so that you don't go hitting and slapping (and getting hit) in your next relationship.
Do it now rather than wait for a broken bone.
(Right on, Chuck N!) Use the info Chuck N gave you!
2006-12-27 17:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat94670 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should get a restraining order against him. Even through you hit him first, he still had no right to lay a hand on you. You never ever should it a girl, no matter what. He is a slime ball and in my humble opinion, he should be put to death. If I was married to you and you hit me, I would do nothing because its wrong to hit a girl. I would take all the money out of your bank account and create a new account without his name on it. If the car is in your name and he takes it away, call the cops and have him arrested for grand theft auto. I believe thats a felony. He could be going away for a long time. Moving in with this SOB is a big mistake. Why do you want to move in with someone that doesn't give a damn about you. Don't you want someone that will love and take care of you, someone that you won't have to fear?
2006-12-28 01:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you and your hubby have some problems. did you hear him talking to the police? my brother got into an argument with his wife and the cops were called and they were talked to seperately. noone went to jail but when they were talking about it later they found out that the cops lied to her about what he said happened. maybe they do that to see if someone is lying or telling the truth. i don't know. also has your husband ever hit you before?? like serious like??? i am not military but i could imagine that the life is hard, esp with going to iraq and all. it also seems that you really lost your cool. i haven't been hit by a women b4 nor would i hit one, but it's really hard to say what you would do if you got hit in the face, ya know?? sounds like you still love him and if you think he's a real violent man and either would, or wants to hurt you stay away. but if not, why don't you just call him. or shoot you could always email him. i hope everything works out for you girl. stay strong. also if you go back to him, ya'll may want some marriage counseling. maybe have it set up before you talk to him so he see's it's what you want.
2006-12-29 23:02:33 · answer #3 · answered by John J 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should if you plan on ending the marriage. The two of you have a domestic violence issue and that calls for the intervention of law enforcement. So, yes get a restraining order...
2006-12-28 01:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Mille_D-Gurl08 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
get the restraining order, you will probably both be better off if you do not see each other anymore. you need to think about your future and that of the child(ren) that you may have some day. would you want someone with a temper like that caring for your kids.
2006-12-28 01:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by Aviator1013 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO QUIT PUTTING YOU DAMN HANDS ON THAT MAN.... HE GONNA MESS U UP LOOKS LIKE IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT THE HELL HE SAY OR HOW HE TALK TO YOU U NEED A DIVORCE AND IF YOU DON'T....WELL SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS I WILL BE AT YOUR FUNERAL... YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A SPOILED B@%TH... AND YOU ARE PETTY ENOUGH THAT TO CALL THE POLICE ON HIM AFTER HE TWISTED YOUR ARM FOR SMACKING YOU!!!!! ALTHOUGH HE SHOULD NOT HAVE PUNCHED YOU BUT YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE PUT YOUR DAMN HANDS ON HIM!!!! THAT IS WHAT YOU GET!!! GET THE HECK OFF YAHOO ANSWERS BECAUSE YOU NEED TO READ WHAT HELL YOU JUST WROTE.... ALTHOUGH YOU DID NOT SAY THAT HE VERBALLY ABUSES YOU TILL NOW YOU STILL NEED A DAMN DIVORCE I AM SO TIRED OF WOMEN AND DOMESTIC ABUSE STUFF
2006-12-28 01:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by how_ulovthat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GET HELP: Dont Wait - Call now!!!
1-800-YWCA-US1
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE
National Centerfor\ Victims of Crime: 1-800-FYI-CALL
2006-12-28 01:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
domestics are the hardest to deal with. If you feel you want out then just leave. A protective order wont save your life it will just prove your point after you had the crap beat out of you.
2006-12-28 01:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by boobear735 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suggest you change your screen name to EX-WIFE of a marine and divorce this creep!
He is violent and things will only get worse.
Also, you shouldn't have slapped him...............................
YOU should have punched the **** out of him or kicked him where it hurts!!
2006-12-28 01:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends if you want to eventually divorce. if you want to separate and divorce, get the restraining order.
2006-12-28 12:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jack C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋