Why would a separated man pursue a single woman...why not divorce first then date ?

Question

Why the rush ? Why not allow himself respectable transition time first, time for reflection, divorce, . . . then date ? Why would a man think a single woman would want to be around a man who is transitioning through a divorce ? If it's just for the company to help himself through the divorce, is'nt that selfish ? Really wondering.

To clarify something, as so far two have stated this in their answer . . . I am not dating a separated man and would not. I was simply asking to try to understand why two different men who were separated would think to pursue / ask me out.

Answer 1

we live in a society where most men dont know how to process their emotions and get healed of someting hurtful, so they look for bandades, something to mask the pain so they dont have to deal with the emotions of it. getting into another relationship quickly is a way of allowing him to ignore the messed up emotions caused by the hurt or trauma of the broken relationship. this could cause trouble in the future if these issues havent been dealt with properly and he hasnt "let go so he can go on". especially if she tries to come back into his life later, and he still has these unresolved feelings for her, then you will have a mess. you are right in what you said about how it "should " be done, but some people dont do it right, so beware. good question!

Answer 2

Well, if he's REALLY separated, then he has the right to date. He's in a confused state right now. It's up to the lady whether or not to get involved w/him or not. But if he's separated he shouldn't be alone. Everyone deserves to have love in the life, or atleast lust. Who knows? Perhaps his wife is dating too. Afterall, they are separated. I wouldn't date a divorcing guy if I were single....but if I were separated I may consider it, thank God I'm not in that position.....
back to ur question: everyone operates differently in times of stress......some folks spend their time reflecting, healing before they leap into the next relationship. Maybe he's in a stage to where he feels there's no use in his marriage and thinks there will be a divorce, so he's moving on to the next woman

Answer 3

Sometimes it is not so easy to get divorced, more if there is children. Sometimes, that relationship with the single woman, would help to go faster the transition. My opinion is that there is no valid reason to not get divorced first and then date. Anyway, it will depend on why he is doing that. You should ask him first. Then, come back here, tell me what he says, and I may help.

Answer 4

It isn't selfish unless the guy lies about his situation , we have our needs and if the lady is game why not . Set around and watch your spouse do it . I agree on the divorce thing for both parties . My ex - wife and I divorced and it was because of cheating . This isn't just a man thing women do it as well . Many of the opposite sex just don't care as long as their needs are met so it can work out if that's all one is interested in.

Answer 5

Men it seems, more so than women, want to jump back into the action, so to speak much sooner . Time to get some of the issues out of the way first, otherwise this will be a hurdle for someone new

Answer 6

Lets not forget that women do the same thing. In my opinion, they have an overwhelming desire to have a crutch. They are not strong enough mentally to go through it alone.

Answer 7

security.
definitely selfish.
but divorces can take time, can't they?
and maybe he wants an excuse to divorce...? who knows...

Answer 8

Yes, it is selfish.

So why would said woman let herself be that doormat.

Answer 9

because he s on the rebound and isn t serious he just wants to feel wanted, and have his cake and eat it too. he will still see HIS EX YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT

Answer 10

It is selfish, he wants companionship, ready sex and a friend.