when should i marry her?

Question

Ive been together with my girlfriend for a year and a half were doing great by the way. She is having a baby should i ask her to marry me now or wait. I'm 19 and she's 17

Answer 1

That really depends on you and your feelings.
REmember that you need to marry her because you want to NOT because she's having your baby.
NOwadays theres no crap anymore for a child born to unwed parents, the most important thing it that the baby is loved and cared for.
To assure her that you love her tell her that you are thinking of marrying her but you want to make sure that it's the right thing for both of you and not something forced from a pregnancy, you are both very young.
Marriage could also be a perk in some cases for example, taxes, medical insurance and stuff. it can be good or bad in those situations.
She may still be covered by her parents medical and dropped if she gets married or she could benefit more if you have better coverage.
So just check the pros and cons together but make sure she knows you are also struggling with this decision, you need to both understand together each others side of things.
And don't forget that pregnancies may bring out the worst in a woman emotionally so stay by her side no matter what,

Answer 2

Wait until you don't have to ask anyone for their opinion, I'm really not trying to be mean. But that's the only way you will know 100% that you're ready. I've been married and having a child is one thing, but marriage is another. People get married for the wrong reasons all the time, be careful, you are already trying to make the right decision. Stabilize the first major issue at hand, which is taking care of the child. When you got that manageable then go to the next step. You guy's are young.

Answer 3

Well your missing one important detail in your question. You never mentioned living together. Some people are gonna say ya you and her are living together but I just gonna say how it is. If you and her are living together how long has that been? Living together and getting married are two different things. Its nice that you want to step up to plate and be a father a good husband and everything, but it sounds as if you the main reason why you would ask her now is due to the fact that she is pregnant. You might notice that once you get married you will start to notice more pet peeves about each other. If anything hold off till the baby is born. You dont want her to think that the only reason why you are asking her to marry you is cuz she is pregnant. It might show her that its just a burdon or a must do thing.

Answer 4

If you were planning on it before, then go for it. If you're doing it just for the baby and because things are going fine now, I'd wait it out until after the baby is born. 17 and 19 is really young.... don't rush into marriage, especially if you want it to last.

Answer 5

Having A baby?
Or having YOUR baby? Big difference.
The conservative in me says marry her now, and be a responsible parent.
But I've seen many in your situation. These marriages won't last at this age. Best situation is be a man step up, continue to be with her and support your child. Wait a few more years, if you both feel you're ready to be a family unit, then marry. If the magic's over, split amicably and continue to support the child.

Answer 6

Do you love her? Do you two get along? I feel so sad when I hear of KIDS getting pregnant. It seems to hardly ever work. She'll need you more than ever, and you need to support her and the baby no matter what. I think you should get used to life with baby and then make the decision to get married or not. Staying together for the kid never works, you need to want to both be together on your own terms.

This is sad... you two are way too young to be dealing with this sort of stuff... too bad.

Answer 7

Marriage at a younger age cause lots of problems in that couples lives, but when there's a baby involved we should right away think of marriage just for the support of the baby because a baby needs supportive parents. You made a mistake which makes both of you responsible to taking a commitment in your life to build a family in your marriage life. Basically, it's best to get married. If you want to study more, work with each other to get money to study in order for your child to have a good self-image of who he/ she is.

Answer 8

just because you're having a baby does not mean you need to get married. I have a friend who's cousin got married because she was having a baby and 6 months later they are getting divorced. They are the same age as you. Does that help?

Being married is much different than dating and things do change when you do get married.

Answer 9

If your wanting to marry her because you love her and want be there for her no matter what?THEN MARRY HER! But if you can't decide if you should wait or ask now,it sounds to me like you are going to ask because she's pregnant?Good thinking! But whichever you decide to do make sure you do it for all the right reasons.Marriage will change your life.But having a child come into this world will change your marriage.

Answer 10

its really up to you when you pop the question but you need to make sure she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and nobody else you also need to make sure she knows you dont just want to marry her because shes pregnant. You are still young and if you wait and still feel the same way then it was well worth the wait but if you jump the gun and things dont work out you will have to go through a costly divorce. in the end its really up to you.