My dad died when I was five it's been seven years and now my mom has been dating a guy for weeks. And she just told me on X-mas eve and she went out with him on X-mas Addum ( we open up all of our relitevs presents then) and she is going to go out with him on New years day and I'm kinda mad that she didn't tell me and she is going out on Holidays am I'm being selfish?
2006-12-27 16:43:23 · 12 answers · asked by Lauren 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
after all the answers I
2006-12-27 16:59:40 · update #1
after all the answers I know i'm happy for her but am I still selfish
2006-12-27 17:00:57 · update #2
Even if I told you that you weren't being selfish it wouldn't really help you. That point doesn't really matter in the big picture, now does it?
Mom has met someone she really likes, probably, and adults can get swept away in love...it's most likely very confusing for you right now. Your mother does deserve to be happy, and I know you want that for her...but what you need is to know you won't be abandoned.
My husband recently missed a holiday gathering because of work, and I was very hurt by it. I, too, wondered if I was being selfish. In the end, things don't always happen the way we'd like, and even parents and loved ones will disappoint us sometimes.
You know what you should do? Instead of feeling bad and questioning your emotions, just explain them to your mom. It's alright to feel the way you do, in fact, most people would feel that way. What needs to happen is you two need to talk and come up with a plan as to how she can spend time with her new friend without you feeling bad about it. You both have to meet halfway, meaning she may have to miss being with him sometimes for you, and you may have to miss being with her sometimes for him. Otherwise, you are asking her to choose between you both, which she will choose you...but do you really want her to give up something that makes her happy? She does need to talk to you, and that was her mistake.
Tell her how you feel.
2006-12-27 16:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by DanaZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe yes and no. Youre mum might be trying to do what is best for you. She must be understanding the lonliness of not having a father and maybe she just wants to make you happy. Give her a second chance. Tell her how you felt about what she did. Get to know you're new father well and try to appreciate you're parents while they are living!
Good Luck!
2006-12-27 16:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by Ravini A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard. You have had all this time with your mom and just you. The only thing you need to realize is that she doesn't love you any less because she wants to spend time with him. When you get older you will understand how it is just different having a friend or companion of the opposite sex. She needs this time but you still need time with your mom as well. Talk to her. Let her know you love her and want to be with her but are willing to hear how she feels as well. Communication is the key.
2006-12-27 16:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by sissyfyia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother may be lonely. As an adult she has needs and desires. This doesn't mean that she has forgotten your father or that she is trying to replace him. It is time for her to move on. It is natural for you to have some feelings about this after all this is affecting your life also, tell your mother how you feel...remember that she needs to have someone to love on a higher level than her children...You should value her happiness as much as you value your own. Think about it. Don't blow your temper at her just let her know that you are upset and you need to understand her desision.
2006-12-27 16:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by MARY L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not being selfish, your just hurt that she didn't tell you sooner. But maybe she did that so that she didn't hurt you. Give her a chance, ask her why she didn't tell you sooner & let her know that you would like to spend the holidays with her also. Talk to her.. Take care
2006-12-27 16:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by lori 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think ur being selfish...u just dont want anyone to replace your dad. but sweetie im sure that if you talk to your mom and Addum about how you are feeling and they will let you know that he is not going to replace your dad. just tell them how you feel. its not ood to keep things bottled up! Hope this helps! if you just need someone to talk to e-mail me at ambi_09@yahoo.com
2006-12-27 16:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur not being selfish, ur just uncomfortable
ur mom dating someone new is obviously a big thing, but be happy she told u, and be happy for her. its good that she's moving on.
if the guys isnt good, however, then there's a problem
2006-12-27 16:48:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish dear, you think you are being ignored.Your mom has every right to be happy, so join in her happiness. all the best
2006-12-27 16:50:24 · answer #8 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes dear you are...typical at your age though. Help your mom pick out her outfit and be happy for her. Have some friends over, make it a slumber party!
NO BOYS!
2006-12-27 16:47:33 · answer #9 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you're being selfish. You should talk with your mom about this. Tell her everything you're feeling and why you're feeling that way.
2006-12-27 16:48:32 · answer #10 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋