hello, I am 14 and I watch my 5 year old brother on a daily bases, because both of my parents work during the day. My brother is really out of control, he listens to NOTHING I say. I have tried to tell both of my parents calmy and I've done everything, but, they just don't care because they don't have to deal with him during the day. Well, when my mom get's home after work, my brother won't listen to her either. So, my mom and dad both decided that whenever my brother gets in trouble I am punished instead of him. Because they say I am the one who is setting a bad example. When I am not. My brother swears and I am not the person teaching him that. My brother pushes people at school, and I am not the person responsible for that. What should I do?!?! This is unfair.
2006-12-27 16:24:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I agree that what you are experiencing is unfair. Unfortunately, this is a case where your parents expect you to raise your younger sibling. At 14, you don't have the wherewithall, experience or knowledge to do so properly. They need to realize that your brother is the product of their lack of discipline and parental guidance--NOT YOURS!
Please talk to a counselor at school or a trusted adult. Your brother may have a behavior issue that won't be solved by placing the blame squarely on the shoulders of another child in the household.
Good Luck to you!
2006-12-31 05:52:56 · answer #1 · answered by Rene KG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are going to get in trouble no matter what you do. Do you either of you go to school during the day? Maybe you can set limits with your brother. Tell him that he can have a certain toy if he does good each day or a treat he likes but only if he is good.
If he is bad give him a time out like sitting at the bottom of the stair case for 5 minutes (and make him do it) if he doesn't listen and then explain to him why he is sitting in a time out. When the time out is over ask him if he knows why he has been sitting there.
You could also have a heart to heart with whichever parent you are closest too. Tell them you are having trouble with your brother and not sure how to handle it and ask what they think you should do when he acts like a bad boy. This may work. You could also call your parents every time he misbehaves and ask them what to do. That should annoy them enough to help you out.
If nothing else works, run away from home (just kidding).
Good luck.
2006-12-28 00:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh, sounds like how it goes in this family. I'm dealing with the same thing, except my brother is eight. He's obnoxious. He cries over anything, just to get me in trouble, when I don't do a thing to him. Once I walked by him and ruffled his hair, and he went and told on me that I had scratched and hit his head, which was entirely untrue. Then my parents get so mad at me, for no reason, and yell at me. I am constantly punished for what he does. When we get in an arguement, it's never his fault. It's mine. While my parents scold, they look right at me and tell me don't do it again. They never look at him. When I ask why I'M the one being accused, my mom says, "He's younger." Which is a stupid excuse. Eight year olds should know the difference between right and wrong. But he thinks it's funny to get me in trouble. He even told my grandfather that once. It just gets really annoying... I'd tell you to put up with it, but then I'd be a huge hypocrite. I've tried to talk to my parents calmly too. Yeah, it doesn't work. The only thing I can think of is hide a video camera, tape the whole day, and then sit them down and show it to them! *sigh* It gets really frustrating, doesn't it?
2006-12-28 00:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Tay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your brother were a "regular" five-year-old, watching him wouldn't be a big deal. With a five-year-old is like the average five-year-old, you'd be able to do something like make him a snack and sit with him at the table for a little while after school. Usually, then, though, most five-year-olds would find something to play; and you'd just have to be in the house to be there in case he needed something.
If this little guy is pushing at school and swearing (two-year-olds and three-year-olds swear because they've heard it and think its funny; a five-year-old is usually beyond that particular thing; so he's either emotionally immature or a nasty little kid) he isn't behaving that way the "average" five-year-old does. This means your parents are leaving a hard-to-deal-with child with someone who is way too young to be able to deal with him. It isn't good for you, and it is certainly isn't good for him.
He probably needs someone who knows just the type of constructive and structured attention he needs to maybe reduce some of the behavior stuff.
Talk to a school counselor to start out with, and take it from there.
2006-12-28 01:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not the parent therefore your brother's education is not your sole responsibility. What is the payoff your brother gets from you and your parents when he misbehaves? (that is the key to the solution) Kids prefer negative attention that no attention at all. Tell your parents that I said they are incompetent, selfish, and self gratifying parents. Your parents need some serious parenting skills classes or read books on that topic and apply themselves. Communicate, communicate, over and over until they get fed up and finally listen to you. DO NOT GIVE UP!
2006-12-31 18:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by Abby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your family needs more family time...
I think your little brother is acting up because he's looking for attention (even negative attention).
It's hard having a family and working.... it's great you can help out. It's easy for your parents to place the blame on you.... don't worry, try to be patient... one day you'll move out, and they'll have a brat of a son to deal with!!
2006-12-28 00:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is very unfair and your parents are not right for making a 14 year old be in charge of a 5 year old.at 14 you are just learning how to really take care of yourself.i would stand up for myself if i were you and tell your parents to stop being cheap and hire a babysitter or put your brother in day care!they also need to step up and be parents.....they are not doing their job if your brother will not even listen to them!good luck!
2006-12-28 00:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by noseyroseysillywillie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your parents put you in a position like that. They should not expect you to raise their son. Tell them that you can't watch him all the time. Have them look into the Boys and Girls club or another low cost child care. If this doesn't work, try talking to your teacher. Teachers have a lot of resources.
~Good Luck~
2006-12-28 00:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by legene 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there any way you can punish him? Like remove privileges..ie TV or computer games, video games. You could hide his games and only give it after he obeys. Think of anything you could hide..favorite foods, remote control, toys,candy. Don't give in to him unless he does what he should. You are still bigger than him, sit on him if you have to. (My 9 yr old daughter is looking over my shoulder and she says to lock him in his room :) ). As Dr. Phil says: You have to know what his currency is. By this I mean you have to know what is most important to him and then remove that from him until he behaves. PERIOD! Let him know whos boss! And Good luck to you!
2006-12-28 00:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by jabbergirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents that if you're the one setting such a bad example then you think you should not be trusted watching him. That would take him out your hands for a bit.
2006-12-28 00:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by Kallie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋