Ok... I got in an argument with my dad's girlfriend earlier. My dad has been very stressed lately about work and his parents financial problems, so I've taken control over dinner and cleaning the house since she won't do it. I've always been close to my father until his girlfriend moved in 10 years ago when I was 7. Anyways, I started talking to my dad more and more every day so maybe he won't feel as stressed if he can talk about his problems. Anyway, his girlfriend said that my dad is in a deep state of depression and everytime I talk to him its killing him more and more, and if he dies its my fault. She told me that if I talk to my dad anymore, she will hit me and make it so I get kicked out of the house. My real mom used to hit me all the time, so his girlfriend is now bringing back memories that I'm afraid of. And I actually started thinking that its my fault my dad is the way he is. Is it actually my fault and what do I do about her?? Please help me.
2006-12-27 16:22:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You dad's girlfriend sounds like a selfish (fill in the blank). I can't imagine speaking to someone your age in such a manner. And don't let her scare you. You're old enough now to hit back (or at least report her to the police). If your dad is in a deep state of depression he should see a doctor. Depression is a disease (it's NOT your fault) and can be helped with medical treatment. Stay away from your dad's girlfriend as much as possible and concentrate on your education and in finding a good career path. Then you can move out and move up!
2006-12-27 16:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is not your fault. Don't think it is. And as for your dads girlfriend maybe she should be a bit more understanding to you. If I was you I would talk to your dad and let him know what is going on. Even though he has some problems right now you are his child and if something is bothering you than he would want to hear it. I know I am a mother (and a single one at that) and I have a lot of problems sometimes but if my child was in anyway needing my attention my problems would wait. Go to your dad and let him know that you are concerned about him and want to know if there is anything you can do. And then let him know that his girlfriend told you not to talk to him that you were the one that was making things worse and also let him know that she said if he dies it is your fault. There is no way that anyone should say that. Good Luck with your dad and I hope he is feeling better soon.
2006-12-28 06:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by Virginia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Daddy maybe stressed out over the fact that his daughter has now taken on the wives duties, and maybe this is possibly also playing into his depression. If your Dad is depressed over financial situations with your grandparents, don't blame yourself . And if he is depressed over his job,he should seek help from his family Dr. and/or find another job. As for his 10 year old girlfriend, oops sorry, his girlfriend of 10 years maybe she is the real reason for his depression. I sure would be, especially if my daughter had to start doing things around the house she is not suppose to be doing.
You are right to try and talk to your Dad, but don't let it become a burden for you. Your Dad's girlfriend should be worrying about your Dad, and trying to get him the help he needs. Sometimes a parent will not open up entirely to the child especially if he/she feels the child doesn't need to be thinking about the problems at hand all the time.
I know you love your Dad,can read it in your question, but sweetie you need to try and concentrate on school and having a good time right now. I am so sorry your Dad's gf is such a B----!
Never blame yourself for what is going on in your Dad's life. It is quite obvious you are not to blame or Dad would not talk to you. I know if one of my daughters was causing me to be depressed, she would be the last one in the world I would talk to about my problems.
You are a good daughter, and anybody would be extremely lucky to have you for their own. But no you are not to blame unless you get into trouble a lot, and with you doing the cooking and the house cleaning I don't really see where you would have the time to get in trouble. But do not blame yourself for anything.
2006-12-28 01:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by myninny54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a really hard situation and I am sorry you are going through it. First of all, what the gf is saying is wrong. I know that you are aware of that - but it sometimes helps to hear it. She is intimidating you and blaming you for something that is not your fault. You need to talk to someone who can intervene. Is there an aunt or uncle or grandparent that you could talk to who would then talk to your dad? If not, talk to a teacher or a counselor at school. As an absolute last resort you could call social services/family services - whatever they call it in your state. One note of warning, though - if they think you are at risk and your father will not make her leave, you could possibly get put in foster care, so whatever you choose to do, make it a careful choice.
2006-12-28 00:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Your dad's girlfriend is feeling threatened by you probably for the last 10 years. Your dad is having guilty issues because of the whole situation. I am sure your father loves you but he is also getting advise from his girlfriend and so he is being torn between the two of you. Have you ever wondered why your father hasn't married her? You sound like a very smart girl and if I were you I would start looking for a friend or relative who would allow you to live with them. This would allow you to live your life and move on. It appears your father can't handle his life, let alone yours. I know you can survive outside of his home. Please make plans to find another place to live so you don't have to live with your father's girlfriend threatening your life.
2006-12-28 00:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by bluemustang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be straight with you, your dad is a grown men who have made decision in life that have nothing to do with you it's not your fault that he is depress he should know batter that he need not to be depress cause it wouldn't solve the problem two his girl friend needs to know that your dad needs your conversation weather it's about soccer games or about your healthy even crazy thinks he needs to listen to you maybe that will help his absorbing his feeling and keeping it all these stuff you know what am talking about tell her you need your dad as much as he needs you now and bye the way getting you kick out of the house will worsen his situation so don't even think about it or let her let you go now that you dad needs you.
2006-12-28 02:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by celi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that his gf is to blame for the way he's feeling, not you. You should talk to your dad and let him know how concerned you are about him. As for his gf I would set her straight and let her know that you are not going to stop talking to your dad. I would talk to your grandparents too and let them know what's going on.
2006-12-28 00:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not your fault!! sounds like you all need some professional help. medical to rule out physical problems and chemical imbalances. counseling to help cope. dont let her get between you and your father. She is overstepping boundries there. she is probably jealous of your relationship with him. if they wont get help at least get some for yourself.
2006-12-28 00:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by katlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt think that at all u sound very caring and responsible u should report her and tell ure dad what shes doin 2 u
2006-12-28 00:27:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your dad and if he doesnt hear you out about this and doesnt do anything about his psycho girlfriend then report her to either cps or your local sherrif, it might do some good.
2006-12-28 00:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋