Why do we idealize people who hurt us so deeply?

Question

It's been nearly since months since the breakup and I still think about him WAY too much. He really hurt me, yet I also feel hurt that he's not contacting me (WTF...well...attempting to contact me. I wouldn't answer if he did and he knows that)... How do I recover from this? Why do I have to keep reminding myself that he's a piece of ****?

Answer 1

When a fat person looses all that weight, they're skin sags, matter of fact sags disgustingly...its unsightly, and at times theyd wish they never lost so much weight in the end. THe skin has a memory, so to say, if youre to gain back all that weight, your skin wouldnt stretch anymore, rather it would welcome the fat back with open arms. Some obese people that can afford will at times go to a surgeon just to get those skin layers removed, and it may be successful, but there are scars in distinct places, that will remain, and a thread that runs through those scars that cannot be removed. See yourself as this obese person that went through these ordeals...you lost the guy or got rid of him, but the feelings, whether goood or bad still remained. You can get rid of those extra feelings, by totally subtracting him from your life...but still there are the scars on your heart and the thread of memory in your life about who he was and what he meant to you. What helps the once obese person live with the scars that they now have throughout their body? Acceptance of what they did and had done and will now do.

Good Luck

Answer 2

We idealize people that hurt us so much because they are so unattainable and it just makes us want them more. The only way to recover is to get out and be with friends and family . Do all the things that you enjoy doing. You keep reminding yourself that he is a piece of crap because deep down you know that he really isn't worth your time of day.