Ok, I have a question about disciplining my bf's son. I was told that I can't discipline my bf's son (he's almost 10). It's not my place because I am not his mother. (I have never hit him and I never will) When I watch him and he does something wrong am I just supposed to turn my head? He has picked up my ferrets by their heads, he scares the beejeezes out of my cat, he won't do anything that I ask him to. He does this with his dad too. But if I can't discipline him, what am I supposed to do? His father (my bf) doesn't get home until about 1am, so I can't wait and have him punish him when he gets home. Most of the time he is an average hyper kid. But when he's acting up he really acts up. I'm not going to let my pets and my home be destroyed just because I'm not his mother. What am I supposed to do? My bf says that I should discipline him. But everyone else says I can't.
2006-12-27 15:58:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is with us on every other weekend. I'm not going to take him to a babysitter because he doesn't always act up. BTW his real mom tells him to treat his father and myself like crap. (she wants my bf to sign over his rights so her new husband can adopt him so they will have a "real" family.
2006-12-27 16:00:18 · update #1
I can't talk to his mother. She hates my guts (I don't know why, I've never done anything to her) Anytime my bf tries to talk to her about me she either starts a fight or hangs the phone up.
2006-12-27 16:04:44 · update #2
Yes you should discipline him! He is a child that needs quidance and direction. He can not continue to live as though he rules over you. You are the adult and that itself demands respect. You are the authority when your boyfriend is gone and his son needs to realize this and respect this. Always handle the situations with a sweet spirit though and he will come to know that you don't want to ruin his happy times, that you only want to prevent any fatalities with your pets.
2006-12-27 16:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are not the cause of the break up of this family. Love is ok but if it is at the cost of a child's life and family, then i sincerely do not think it is worth it.
But if its not because of you then probably, Your BF's son is holding you responsible for the seperation of his biological parents and in his head, he believes that getting rid of you would bring his parents together. So, what you do is talk to him. Listen to what he has to say and explain it to him that it is in his best interest to cooperate and not act up. Give his real mother some time. She is going through what any other women in her place would. It is normal to resent the new person who her husband gets along well and makes her question why he couldn't with her.
2006-12-28 00:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you cannot discipline him doesn't mean you can't find something he likes and take it away for a little while.If you are responsible for him while his dad is at work and an accident would happen you would get the blame so just call it preventive measure instead of discipline
2006-12-28 00:08:10 · answer #3 · answered by mawmaw6 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to discipline him if you're the one that is taking care of him. No, you can't spank him, but you definitely have every right to punish him. Talk it over with your bf and then the two of you sit down with him and let him know things are going to change around there. Put your foot down now, before things really get out of hand.
2006-12-28 00:08:04 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If anyones kids tries to hurt my animals I will discipline them, it doesn't matter if they are my child or not. They need to learn respect for innocent creatures.
In your case I think that even though you aren't his mother you are left in charge of him when your bf works right? Then you are and should be able to punish him, even if it is just sending him to his room, but make sure that there is nothing like a tv or computer to entertain him while he is in there
2006-12-28 00:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by his wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK i have one answer for you before i go to the real story she hate your guts cause you have whats she wents. OK any way you have the right to discipline that little munchkin cause i don't wet him to be a drin on society when he grow up to be a very naughty men. i say you got Oder from the the parent his father to discipline him as they say children are not for their parent alone they are for all of us.and you know i can just image your face when he's being Harper, ooh yes i can imagine your face and it's not good discipline him. if his mom can't do it.
2006-12-28 02:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by celi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can if your boy friend says that you can you don't have to put your hands on him physically but you can discipline him have him sit at the kitchen table and write lines start with 50 and add an additional 25 every time there after and give him chores dishes clean the bathroom take away all privileges until he can learn to respect you as an authority figure in his life
2006-12-28 00:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by totally confused 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your house, your pets, your rules. Doesn't matter if your are not his mother. Anyone visiting your home must respect your authority. Discuss this with your bf. If the child does not conform then arrange for the two of you to meet him outside your home on neutral territory.
As for the other matter again discuss it with your bf but in the end hopefully he will make the best decision for his son (with legal advice).
2006-12-28 00:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Flab 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can discipline him if he is in your home and destroying your things, besides that this kid needs to learn to respect you. Have you ever spoken with his mother?? Maybe you two can come to a common ground on how to discipline him while he is at your home to where she won't be mad!!
2006-12-28 00:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by Floridapurrfection 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they reside in your home bust his ***!!!! if no one else is concerned with his behavior.
2006-12-28 00:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by heartbroken 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋