Is BOOTCAMP the answer for our Out-Of-Control Teenager?

Question

Our 13 year old daughter is out of control. We are doing everything we think we should to help her to become a productive teen and eventually an adult, however with each passing day she seems to be getting angrier.
Here's a .little history - i will keep it as brief as possible --First off her Dad left her mom when she was 3 and married me. Her mother never did get over him and said many horrible things about us to her from an early age. (like: your dad doesn't love us ) To make a long story short she played games w/ her head. A yr ago Jan. she moved in w/ us cause her mom got arrested for being under the influence of drugs. This phase was short lived but her mom pretty much abandon her after her arrest. No calls eccept my daughters appempts to reach her mom, and no way of talking to her about what it is doing to her emotionally. She is taking it out on us saying hateful things to us & her lil brothers. She has fits of rage that are uncontrolable most of the time. WE NEED SOME HELP??

Answer 1

Boot camp can help sometimes,,,,

But first take her in for SERIOUS COUNSELING !!!! Her mom did some serious damage,, which needs to be figured out first. Right now she may be feeling like she’s in what she’s been told is the worst place in the world. So she isn’t going to trust you-anything you say- etc.. The daughter needs a completely neutral 3rd person to intervene interact with her and undo all the damage done by the “druggy mother”!!

If you do decide on Boot Camp,, check the camp out with a fine tooth comb !! Make very sure they have adequate counselors on site to attend to all the daughter’s emotional issues

Answer 2

She is extremely hurt and lost. I don't know if bootcamp will help or not. Sometimes kids live their life thinking that only if their Mom was here, their life would be perfect. They keep wondering about the what if's. She may be better off getting help through therapy. Someone to help her understand that we have no control over our parent's actions. We just have to do what's best for ourselves and know that being a parent doesn't come with instructions. Some are good at it, some are bad. But we have the choice to move on and make ourselves as happy as we can and maybe someday she can have a loving, respectful relationship with you, her dad and her mom. Good luck.

Answer 3

getting to the roots of the anger is always the best way to go. hurt causes anger. until the causes of the hurt are resolved, the anger will stay. the best answer is to get her to a good councelor that will help her to deal with these issues. they will help her to forgive and accept the things that have happened to her. I prefere a good Christian councelor. they know that the Lord heals these broken places in her heart and will get rid of the anger. many secular councelors may not get to the roots and eliminate the anger. they may just help her to "cope with, or manage the anger". thats not what you want. also, it is important that you let her know that you are not trying to "change" her. you want to be there to help her through this time in her life. boundaries and discipline will be necessary. you should go to a councelor also, even if she doesnt. they will be able to tell you how to understand what she is going thru and how to help her. when God heals the hurt, the pain goes away and then the anger leaves. forgiveness is the first thing she will need to be willing to do, but she will need help. i recommend a book by steve arterburn call "healing is a choice". you can get it at any christian book store and many others. there are many churches that may offer free counceling sessions. another great idea is to have her attend "group sessions", where all the people there are going thru the same things. these are good and will help her to feel that she is not alone and that there is hope, because the ones running the groups have went thru the same things. hope this helps.

Answer 4

You can certainly see why she is in such a state!
She needs a thorough mental health evaluation to begin with, then you can decide what to do. You will also need support in parenting her, since she is more difficult than the usual child.
Talk to her school counselor; you may get some help or referrals.
If she is doing things that are against the law (violence, running away, etc.), involve the police every time. This will give you more leverage in dealing with her, and they may be able to offer you other services. These can range from informal probation to a therapeutic group home.
She may be doing drugs, since she was exposed to this by her mother.
You have my prayers.

Answer 5

Wow I give to praise for wanting to help her...I know it's a struggle if talking to her isn't working then maybe you should take her to talk to a counselor. It's some times easier if you can tell your problems to a perfect stranger then someone you have been around all your life. It's hard for a child to be ripped emotionally away from their mother. It seems like she has been through some tough times and maybe she doesn't know how else to let it out!! That is her way of dealing with things. Have you ever thought that maybe she is looking for attention and the only way she feels she can get is to be out of control?? Talk with a counselor they are better at helping someone who has been through some traumatic times cope!! Good luck and I am keeping you all in my prayers!!

Answer 6

I have a daughter who is turning 13 this month. I have asked this question myself?. I think personally Bootcamp is for boys. Girls need to be taught how to be a lady. that can defintaly start with us. I reduced my hours at work and made myself more available to my daughter. Also I have made her more accountable for her actions and inactions and either give praise or rewards or take away. We really have gone back to the basics and this seems to have helped a lilttle. Let her know she does not have to keep her family curses she can draw a line and start over.

Answer 7

if you love this child and truely want to help her get her in church and go along with her. and pray pray pray i promise it works. now is the time to do something about it. when she is eighteen it will be to late and you could live with alot of grief for the rest of your life. the poor girl has been through alot, let her know first of all that you love her and would never abandon her. let her know that you will always be there whenever and forever. give her lots of love and attention. if the fits of rage continue then give tough love a try. the bible says discipline is love. i would go to every lengths to try and straighten her out because you only have five years left. good luck. and also pray for yourself and i will pray for you to. prayer and god are really the only answer.

Answer 8

This little girl is so messed up by her mother and is in dire need for some help. Find a boot camp that deals with not only the physical aspect of her problems but also the emotional side too! You need to nip it in the bud now because it only gets worse!! Good luck!!!

Answer 9

check with your nearest mental health clinic. your family need counseling. you need help coping and she needs help with her rage. she has alot of anger and pain that she doesnt know how to deal with. on top of that she is going through hormonal changes. good luck

Answer 10

you can bet on it down to your last button. boot camp will be the ticket for her & her attitude! as a mother I say DO IT! NOW! they have good counselors there as well people who are fully trained to handle people out of control like her. ( I see it on Maury all the time).