How can i mature and control my anger issues?

Question

How can i mature and control my anger issues?
i have a major problem with anyone who i think goes out of line with me i will say something below the belt and hurt them worse. it happened to day between me and my brother, he said something to me i came back and said something i shouldnt have and now i regret what i said. can someone help me?

Answer 1

Meditation... church/prayer... sports....therapy/counseling...a good friend to vent your feelings to.....running/exercise.....running a warm bath and thinking things over for a while....putting on your fav t.v. show.... practice walking away....Know that what you say in the moment is what you feel times 10 and that is why you need to walkaway and refocus on where your feelings truely lie.

Answer 2

You need to carefully consider how a problem with anger will negatively affect your life - loss of relationships is the biggest one. Don't just put that down as an effect and forget about it, though. YOu need to seriously consider how anger has hurt you in the past,and how it will continue to hurt you in the future.

Anger is a problem with undue focus on self. When someone annoys you unintentionally and you hurt them intentionally, that is called being irritable and is one face of anger. Taking small slights and getting extreme revenge is another face of anger. The thought is that NO ONE IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO ME WITHOUT MY GETTING BACK AT THEM. I AM GOING TO CONTROL THIS SITUATION. This attitude is wrong; there are many small things that we all do each day that could be taken the wrong way, and if you take them the wrong way, you are going to drive people away and end up alone. Plus, you are still not the one in control - your anger is.

First, when you get angry and act on it - force yourself to apologize. Yes, this will be hard, but it will certainly make you think twice the next time. Even if the person does not accept your apology, apologize anyway.

Envision in your mind what you should have done. Think about situations in the past where your anger has controlled your actions, and redo it in your imagination in a way that has you responding correctly.

Each day think of things to be thankful for; also, plan a good deed to do for someone else every single day. When you are thinking of the good things in your life, and doing good for others, it is very difficult to be angry quickly.

When you plan things to control your anger, you must keep with it. If you blow it a few times, don't let that stop you. Just apologize and start over. You can take care of this problem.

Answer 3

First of all, it's a series of things that take time. There's something that you're mad or upset about that you haven't really dealt with and it's provoking anger in you. For example, most black folks I've yet to meet in New York are angry when they see a Caucasian person person. They think they stole something from them. They think they have everything easy in life and without dealing with that issue, they became angry with every moving thing and they only want to stand up the block and drink. After you identified the issue that is getting you angry, deal with it and stop getting back at people. Stop taking revenge into your own hand. When someone said something hurtful to you, don't get back at them or don't even up with them. Let time slide by and go back to the person and with the respectful altitude, tell them that they've hurt you. If that person continue, is better for you to take a distance from that person than to start acting immaturely.

Answer 4

Hmmmmmm, learning to think about what effect, this thing you are about to say, will have on someone comes with age darling. Furthermore siblings often fight to draw blood, nothing new there. You know more personal things than most do about your brother so you can be very hurtful to him. Be the bigger person next time and when he says something to anger you, just walk away. The things you say cannot be taken back. I know this. I had a bit of a temper when I was younger too. Would you want someone else to say what you are about to say, to your brother? If not, then don't say it!

Answer 5

There are a lot of possibilities to your question. As with any problem within a person they must recognize the problem and be willing to correct it. You've already traveled halfway. I receive daily Native American meditations by e-mail which causes me to reflect on several of life's problems. The previous suggestion of deep breathing to relax is excellent as the more oxygen to the brain the better you think and stay calm. If you believe in totem animals you can use the power of the armadillo to deflect hurtfull things others say about you and its as if it doesn't matter. If you are seeking help you are already maturing by wanting to correct your behavior.

Answer 6

Someone once told me something I'll never forget. "Never say anything to someone that you can't take back" like "I hate you" or "your stupid". when you say things like this, the person you said it to will never forget it, no matter how much you apologize. If you really are angry all the time you must have some issues in your life. My daughter ahd to get some counciling when she was a teenager for anger issues. It helped her a lot. Good luck.

Answer 7

You're on your way to maturity to realize you can hurt with words and regret it. First, get the tape: Unhooked by pena chodron... we get hooked into responding. Second... You should study orators -- the best speakers and write out your answers before responding with your hook. You can go far as a speaker... socrates. Some careers: con artist... gets you out of jail, actor... low life or star but definately live modestly... if you are acting then remember to act like either you take drugs and don't or act like the other person couldn't dare to offend you by asking even if you are a dwarf. Politician, commercials, management, hotels, ambassador, missionary, preacher, teacher... writer. One of my favorites is Abe Lincoln... he had a trecherous childhood but he never spoke ill of not one person or opponent.

Take your disability and develop it into an asset. I believe the first evil a person learns about themselves is their best asset. It's just learning to control it for everyone's benifit and your reward. Go for it. Study it and master it. Maybe you will be a master writer. good luck.

Answer 8

Well, at least you do recognize that you do have a problem and want to do something about it. That's half the battle. Next time, force yourself to turn away, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. Hopefully, that will calm you down before you impulsively say something really bad.

Answer 9

Never try to meet aggression with agression. Rationalize your anger. Silence is best answer and try to walk away from the person if you are angry. A silent message would go to him/her
that improper conduct pushed you away

Answer 10

When you feel that you are angry , swallow hard,, it will go away