Ok, making a long story short. When me and my boyfriend started dating he was still in love with his ex and left me. When he realized she wasn't going to take him back he come running back to me. I thought I would give him a second chance. It seems like everytime he talked to her all his feeling would come back, so he agreed that he wouldn't talk to her, not only for those reasons but because he didn't like her anymore,he don't care, she was trash, she lies, and she was a person who slept around. So I believed him. Every now and then I would ask him how long its been since he talked to her and he said he hasn't. Well the other day i saw he was talking to her on messenger askin how she was, after he told me he don't talk to her. Mind you that i am now five months pregnant w/ his child and our baby will be born w/ a defect and he bought me a engagement ring for christmas(I really don't need this stress). Should I be upset? I can't trust him, I am scared he is going to leave again.
2006-12-27 14:16:44 · 22 answers · asked by me_myself 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it is all about communication. if you do nothing but live in the what if world you are always going to be guessing about his intentions. talk to him about it lay it all on the table. don't feel like you are being annoyance because you need to know for your security.
2006-12-27 14:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by OB the Wolf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should not have gotten pregnant without first being married. He will feel trapped into a marriage he may not want. BUT since you are already five months pregnant, let's move on to the next item. He is talking to his ex and lying to you about it. He has already proven that he cannot be trusted. You are not yet married to him either, why not? Obviously he is delaying getting married or you would be married by now. Men think of sex and love separately. Just because a man is in lust for awhile with someone does not mean they love them or want to spend the rest of their life with that person. Kick this guy to the curb and tell him that he can only come back into your life when he is through with other women - if he is emotionally tied to someone else (the ex) then he needs to get over it. If he does not come back, then move on with your life - one day you will find someone who really loves you. Date the person without having sex so you get to know the actual person, not just lust after each other. The Bible standards for life, morals, and values are not grievous but rather protect us from many many problems if we live by the Bible's standards. In the future, you might want to start turning to Jesus because He will always be loyal to you. I hope all works out for you and your baby.
If you love something
set it free.
If it comes back
its yours;
And if it doesn't
then it never was.
2006-12-27 14:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by Orion777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you should have never gotten prego from a man who you knew was still in-love with another woman at the time you met... You are considered a transitional person... you are going to be raising a child by yourself... If you do get married it will only be a matter of time before he leaves you for another woman... By you getting prego you just added alot of fuel to the fire of a bad situation... When are you girls ever going to learn... A child can't fix anything in a relationship that was broken in the first place... It only forces what you already know. It is not going to work out...All I can say you saw all those major red flags waving and you still allowed yourself to get prego... You just set yourself and your child up with a man who will never be there for you... You made your bed now you and your child have to suffer the consequences of YOUR irresponsible action... He will stay until childsupport will no longer be an issue...and by then you will be to old to find the real person you are suppose to be with... So sad so sad indeed... I just feel for your unborn child...
2006-12-27 14:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you can't believe everything someone tell you. You don't know what he told her about you. When you want someing, you will start tell one lie and then you have to tell another lie to cove up the first lie.
The Big ? is do you trust him. Better yet, do you trust yourself.
Marriage - Trust and Communication is a big part of marriage. You must have them both or it won't work.
Baby- You should have use protect if you had concern about him.
Remember a baby is a gift from God.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5, 6
2006-12-27 14:40:21 · answer #4 · answered by GOD IS LOVE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and have a long talk. He needs to get his priorities in order. If he loves you, and the child you are about to have, he will do what is right. If he is still talking to her now, after telling you he hasn't! Then he is not being honest with you. He needs to make up his mind what he wants, and where his priorities are. Then go from there. If he loves you, and your child to come, then he will be true to you'll. If not, you'll don't need him. You can do it on your own. Which is sad, but normally if they not
honest and faithful now! They won't change
later.good luck.
2006-12-27 14:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by Bobby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he can't STOP himself from having feelings for her, I think it's always going to be a definite and big possibility that he sneak around with her or maybe even leave you for her. I think that you deserve to marry someone who loves you not only because you were around, but because they CHOOSE you. (Not like you b/f who might just choose this other girl any time he pleases.)
You're going to have a baby, and this baby needs serious care. Marrying a guy who is only going to make you worry and having a relationship that would likely end in fights, won't help your child.
Leave him. Even though raising a child on your own would be hard, I think that in the end, it'll prove the best long-term effects.
2006-12-27 14:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's my story, shortened for ya: my current boyfriend and I started dating about 3 years ago, right after he broke up from a 2 year relationship. For about the first year of OUR relationship, we were on and off for that exact reason...he was trying to stay friends with her, which I could understand since they'd been together so long, but it made me really uncomfortable, and she kept trying to get him back. Once he saw that she was only trying to hurt him and our relationship and not be his friend, he quit talking to her for good. And thanks to my leap of faith and trust in him, we are happy and still together...and we just got our first house!
So, if he REALLY is just asking how she's doing, I'd say talk to him about it sensibly, like tell him why you're bothered and that if he wants to talk to her and be friends, he needs to be honest with you first of all. However, it's possible that he feels "trapped" because you're pregnant with his kid, and that could be why he's talking to his ex...to subconsciously prove to himself that you don't "own" him. Which still wouldn't necessarily be reason to leave him.
You're going to have to feel him out on this one. If you think it's been more than just, "Hi Susie, how are you?" then it could be a problem, and you'll need to talk to him very seriously. Since you ARE pregnant and engaged, I would hope that there is enough honesty and trust in this relationship for you guys to talk honestly and openly, and you're just going to have to ask him to be very straightforward with you so you can decide what to do.
2006-12-27 14:27:57 · answer #7 · answered by grayhare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should trust him, and don't ask him anymore if he talked to her, maybe he is doin' it because he knows it upsets you...and your baby does not need stress it is not healthy durin' a pregnancy and i know because i had tons of stress when i was pregnant...especially if your child will be ill, you two need to stay strong for your child...and the love you have for that child, shouldn't interfer with your past, or future...if he give you a ring, you are very lucky and i think you should accept everything he does for you with open arms...but if there are other circumstances to your story, i think he's a true and honest guy...he still is with you...and no other...i think you should trust him...people always tend to stay friends with ex lovers, i have with a couple of mine, and jealousy is in everyone...it's just a part of life...trust and friendship are hard to find...and i'm sure you two will do fine...good luck with your baby...and congrats!!
2006-12-27 14:25:55 · answer #8 · answered by RadMe02 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him about the situation. When you saw him talking to her how it made you feel and how would he feel if you put him in the same situation. Don't leave him whatever you do! Your child needs the father in his or her life. Tell him how hurt you are that he promised you he wouldn't talk to her and he still did. Tell him that if he wants to be with her then why would he get you pregnant and give you an engagement ring?
2006-12-27 14:23:17 · answer #9 · answered by ♥i LuV mY nEw HuBbY LEO♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he left before he'll do it again. If he lied before he'll do it again. I had a guy leave his ex for me, then left me for his ex (the same ex), and then he thought he would come back to me. Sorry buddy, but you only get one chance here! There are too many people out there to be letting some guy use you as his backup plan. I didnt give mine a second chance and I'm glad I didnt, cause now I'm happily married, to someone else of course!
2006-12-27 14:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by Candifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be upset he's with u not the ex and ur pregnant honey i dont wanna be mean but he sounds like an *** hole the engagement rings the only good thing im hearing except the baby congrats by the way well i hope everything goes well yes i would leave him he does'nt sound like he's the man u need for u let alone the baby
2006-12-27 14:22:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋