Is there something wrong…………….?

Question

Hello, I am a 13-year-old girl I am very confused. Ever scene I was young people seemed to think there was something wrong with me. I have been to the doctors for numerous problems including ADHD, OCD, Touretts Syndrome, Depression and many others. My mom even convened her self that I have token drugs (witch is not true.) The only thing I have been diagnosed with is ADHD at the ripe old age of 8. I was in learning and speech programs until 4th grade, yet even then I struggled. Currently I have a F and D, but believe me I try not to. I have major problems organizing and cannot hold my pencil right. I am a horrible speller (I’m typing this on a Microsoft Word) and often mess up my speech. Lately I have been feeling Irritable and have thought of harming my self (I do not, however when I was young I would hit my self and Lie on the ground naked, “punishing” my self for being a bad child). When I was ten I seriously conceded

suicide due to my parents alcohol addiction. I am not tacking any medication and I am not in any consoling. My mom has threatened to commit suicide 4 times to date, and has harmed me (never that bad, only a couple of bruises or scratches) and my parents fight often, making it nearly impossible to fall a sleep. They are violent towered each other and very immature. This only happen when the drink however, when they are not drinking they are quite pleasant to be around. Sometimes in the middle of the night I hear and see thing that I know are not there but It stills scares the crap at me. I feel that I have to run my hand down my noise and other little rituals (they are not causing any major problems though) and sometimes I think that a pitcher is staring angrily at me or likewise. I am very scared and anxious and quick to assume the worse. If someone is ill I think they are going to die. My question: what can I do?

Answer 1

Hi,

I went through OCD when I was twelve and it was horrible. I feel for you so strongly. There doesn't seem to be anything at all wrong with you in regard to intelligence. Using Word or not, you are an excellent writer. Were you yelled at a lot? Punished a great deal? I know those were factors that added to my OCD. Your inability to hold a pencil correctly (I still don't, but it's not really a problem although the middle finger of my right hand is calloused on the side) and struggles with organization and orientation may have a great deal to do with anxiety. It sounds as if you have been through the ringer. PLEASE - go to a neighbor you trust or the guidance counselor at school. You need to realize it is 100% NOT your fault that your parents drink. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Your mother's threats of suicide would send anyone into panic attacks. You may be suffering from them. There are people that can help you, but you need to speak with a trustworthy adult first. At least in counseling you have an out, whereas your parents don't seem to be looking for any other than alcohol. I began therapy at 16, I wish I had started much earlier. My parents were not alcoholics, but they were very emotionally abusive. You can also join a group called Al-A-Teen, for children living with alcoholic parents.

Your parents should never lay an unkind hand on you. They sound terribly unpredictable, and that is probably the cause of your anxiety. I really don't think there is anything wrong with YOU. It is your parents who are allowing themselves to treat you and one another as such. As for "hearing" things in your room, don't worry - it doesn't make you a schizophrenic or anything of the sort. It is probably panic - I used to be almost entirely unable to sleep in the evening because I was always waiting to see what my parents would scream at me for next. I believed ABSOLUTELY until I was 29 that everything I did was wrong and bad. I am still getting over that. Tell your guidance counselor you wish to pursue therapy for the OCD as well. I know it doesn't seem like it will end, but it will eventually. It's simply your way of keeping order in your world, as your parents do not. I too thought if I didn't do something a certain number of times, someone would die (or I'd just have horrible thoughts). I realize not that my parents were extremely limited and the chances of me doing something "wrong" were so high that the only way to control anything at all around me was to become OCD. There is a specific therapy now that works wonderfully with it - "Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy". Ask your guidance counselor about it.

Good luck! If you have any questions, e-mail me any time. I really do wish you the best. Harming yourself will do nothing for you or for them. Having an active role in taking care of your sense of self and your mind will. This is not all on your shoulders, but it will be until you ask for the help you so richly deserve. I wish you SO MUCH happiness in life. None of what is going on around you is your fault. The spelling and mind disorganization can be dyslexia (the school counselor should be able to tell you) but it may also just simply be that you are in a constant state of panic and it causes you to "think too much".

Answer 2

It sounds like you are wise beyond your years and sensitive of others. I know this may be difficult but have you ever therapy, like with a psychologist/psychiatrist? I used to have speech therapy and I had a school counselor tell me I had Tourette's Syndrome too (which was so untrue). As for the writing problems and organizing things, maybe you have dyslexia or something similiar. Don't give up and talk to someone you can trust because you are in such pain. Don't blame yourself for your parents alcohol abuse since you are not at fault for this. I wish I knew more but I wish you every happiness because you deserve it! Good luck to you.

Answer 3

what can you do? probably nothing cause i know you wont but you know what you can do that would help and that would be to tell ms.sadler, but you and me both know you wont do that. the thing about people thinking somethings wrong with you is wrong - they think theres something wrong with your family, and i think your mom likes to get you and andy diagnosed with things and have people think therse stuff wrong with you just so she can feel sorry for herself and have an excuse for how she acts, she probably wants you on ritalin so she can take double her amount. you know you either gotta tell someone or ignore her, also your dad isn't gonna die, he probably has the flu or food poisining. nothings actually wrong with you, you have the ADHD the doctors make up when really your just thinking about other things, heres my best advice: when you feel down just picture your life when your old enough to be out of the house and dont have to deal with your mom when shes in her moods and picture it when your liveing in a worry free life with your boyfriend, you'll have a great life when your out of your house, so will andy. call me tonight if you can, <3 <3 <3
i dont think you have tourettes, ocd, or "real" adhd - cause its caused by your home life, but depression might be true

if anyone is wondering about this answer and how its weird, i know evilbunnyfarts and her family.
chulita's answer is really true!

Answer 4

you really do need help. it doesnt sound like you live in a very stable environment. im sure you love your parents, but is there an aunt/uncle/grandparent/relative that you could go live with? maybe being in a secure environment could help you become less anxious and you will no longer have as much trouble in school. i hope you find some help, and dont ever commit suicide. thats taking the easy way out. and never start cutting, its addicting. i would know.

Answer 5

Your parents, not you have the problem. There are two ways to go with this - keep believing that you are screwed up and end up like your mother (YIKES!) or stop playing the game and make yourself stronger because of it. I am convinced that my mother had mauchausens by proxy - that mental illness that makes her harm her kids to get attention for themselves. Mainly she did it to my little brother. She was always having him diagnosed with something ADHD, learning disabilities, special ed......it was endless and got her lots of attention. Of course, there was nothing at all wrong with him. We grew up in an awful house full of alcholism, drug addiction, domestic violence and child abuse. Were we screwed up? YES! But because of my mother, not because of some stupid made up mystery "disorder" that she made up to explain it.
Talk to your school therapist. Don't even tell your mother. Then start looking at her for what she is. Not the all powerful Oz. But a pathetic, attention mongering, immature wimp that doesn't deserve you!

Answer 6

Ouch. I wish I could help you more.

Apparently your school recognizes your learning problems and they should be working very hard to help you in that area - BUT I would recommend that you see your school counselor or a teacher that your trust, and explain to them the problems with your parents and what emotional pain it caused you. They should be able you help you out.

Answer 7

you should go to a consler at school and get tested for anything you think you might have and get away from them and you shold go to ur grandparent or aunt house just get a away and specail school can help im a horrible speller you probally have spelling dyxlexcia like me um i wish i could help more GOOD LUCK


<3

Answer 8

Improve what you can... but accept whatever you can.

I advise you to accept everything. Make it better only after doing that.

Answer 9

get away from their call the child abuse