Ok so i have only been together with this guy for about a month... He is in complete love with me but i dont feel the same way.And There are things about him that I dont like that. He asked me to be his boyfriend like a few days after we first kissed...I told him yesterday that i was stressed and that i didnt want to habg out and that we would talk about it later... well then he asked if everything was ok with us? I told him that we would talk about it later. So anyhow I am at work right now and I told him we would talk after work... i have never broken up with anyone and I dont want to hurt him...I am not looking to get married any time soon and he thinks I am the one and our relationship is all physical hat do I say help me
2006-12-27 13:27:11 · 20 answers · asked by songbirdchelsea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why ask us, just tell him your not what I am looking for a long term relationship. Honesty is the best policy.
2006-12-27 13:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so unfortunate when 2 people don't feel the same about each other. In your case, he and you feel completely the opposite about each other. You don't have anything to feel bad about if you break it off now. All these things you are saying like the fact that you are not looking to get married and that it's all physical have no bearing on this situation, actually. (I tell ya, when you really, really, want someone as much as he wants you, this will be all that matters!)
So, when you get off work tonight, be gentle but firm, and the less you explain the better. Those "reasons" will actually make things more confusing and messy.
But do it now. You will be guilty of leading him on if you let it go on further. I know you don't want to hurt him, so, every day that you let it go on will hurt him all the more when it finally ends. It's okay, you have done nothing wrong. You can't feel bad about the situation just because someone fell for you. After all, you're probably a great girl, so, no surprise, right? :) Be clear that you are not looking for HIM. Because any other "reason" like you being stressed, not into looking for something serious, etc., don't really state clearly that you just aren't desiring him. That is all it is: you don't want him. Tomorrow, you might meet and incredible man, and be flipping through brides magazines next week, you know?
You can IM me if you wanna chat tonight before you talk to him.
Good luck.
2006-12-27 21:54:34 · answer #2 · answered by Asian Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paul Simon said it best, "There must be 50 ways to leave your lover. Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. No need to be coy, Roy. Just listen to me. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much! Just drop off the key, Lee. And get yourself free." If the feeling you get in your belly every time you see him isn't butterflys, tell him straight out. Don't be mean or spiteful, just honest. And let your No be No.
2006-12-27 21:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by hammer_in_wva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can say to you is tel him the truth and hope that every thing works out for the best, and if that doesn't work out all right you could help him find some other girl that he could like all the same. Sorry my advice isn't what you would you expect but I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend.
2006-12-27 22:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sonic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in a situation like this before but we were together for 6 months though when i broke it of it crushedhim.but question is why did u really get with him what were the things you still like or dont like and what turned u off.if these answers are reasonable and not just self centered break it off if u think that u are only thinking about yourself and you have no true reason to break it off with him try to work it out with him.and either u choose to break it off or stay let him know what disgusts you about him.because it did not do it in my relationship and choose to ignore this traits until it was too late
2006-12-27 21:33:06 · answer #5 · answered by m-ria 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The sooner you let him know the better it will be for both of you. Just let him know that although you care about him your just not ready for a relationship right now.
Tell him he deserves someone that cares about him just as much as he does them. Although it maybe hard for him to accept in time he will appreciate the fact that you were honest enough to and cared enough to find someone who can give him the love he deserves and be happy with. good luck.
2006-12-27 21:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't like him you should start with signs so he is aware. Stop calling him back and answering his emails. If he asks you on a date come up with some excuse that you are busy. Then slowly start to break if off between the two of you. If he really loves you he will want you to be happy. Although he will be sad and uspet, he will also be happy that you are happy.
2006-12-27 21:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT stay in something you are unhappy about being in, because as soon as you know it 5 years will have passed and you will have wasted too much time. Just be gentle but firm with him. Good luck.
2006-12-27 21:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by Darling girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up always hurts. You can't get around that. Why make yourself miserable to keep him happy? Dump him and move on.
2006-12-27 21:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you don't think that yall have anything in common, and that i don't feel the way you feel about me. If you want you could throw in the, "its not you, it's me and i....." you get what i am try'n to say. And if you worry about his feelings, then you'll will never be able to do it, so just try not to worry about it so much.
2006-12-27 21:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by xxMiizzCxx 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋