I met a women while traveling on a train from Oregon to California. Our conversation was wonderful, very natural and exciting. We were seat mates the entire 19 hour journey, 2pm to 9am.This woman was from Europe, and me from the eastern U.S., both of us on holiday in the western U.S.
I felt very attracted to this women in many ways, with looks not the first of my attraction.
She being a few years older then me both of us in our 20’s. After dinner together, we were sitting next together in our seats reading. I felt an extreme desire to share some physical touch with this women. Leaning against her, holding hands.
So I asked her if i "could lean against her". She said no. Her answer wasn't a shock to me, but a let down to say the least. I've since felt a bit confused. After she said No to my request we continued to read and talk, our relationship not changing.
Was I wrong in thinking that some physical contact such as leaning on her shoulder was to much to ask for?
2006-12-27 13:08:59 · 17 answers · asked by Mr. Honeycomb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for the thoughts, next time I’ll restrain myself. There are a lot of details I left out since I can't type to much in this box. We had talked about relationships at one point, me wanting to know why she was single with her wanting to know why I was single.
2006-12-27 13:32:53 · update #1
yes
too much too soon
and asking explicitly is so uncool, especially at this extremely early stage of relationship, its just not cool
Be cool, let it evolve, go with the flow, let it develop naturally, mutually. You're the man, let her decide when she feels like brushing up to you when she feels safe and comfortable to do it. Its more likely to develop gradually, more and more. When she does it to you, you can enjoy it, and do the same with her. If its otherwise, you should worry, and she should worry.
You're more likely to get it after tons of showing respect and trustworthyness, that you won't be a creep. Be a likeable guy, temporary hand contact is ok if its ok with her, and helping her put her coat on is a sign of respect and care, care of all of her instead of just hand contact. Later dates you may find her sitting very close to you, leaning on you, welcome your arm around her. Then the snowball is starting to roll. Go out with locals, so you have time to develop things, then you won't be pressured to get too much too soon from travellers.
2006-12-27 13:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by million$gon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but yes. This exact same thing basically happened to me, haha.
I'm a girl (21) and this guy who was probably about 24 was seated next to me on a plane going to Spain.
The guy was from Madrid, Spain, and I'm from the East coast (U.S.).
So we ended up talking a long time in Spanish. Great convo about politics, movies, etc.
Then he tried to lean against me (he asked, but I felt uncomfortable), then he tried to kiss me.
To be honest, it was soooooooo frickin awkward. It's not that he wasn't cute. It's more that I felt like our entire convo had just been a ploy for him to get some. If he had just asked for my #, maybe I would have given it to him. I'm not even prude, it's just that we had just met.
Next time, just ask for her # :).
2006-12-27 21:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by chocogummibunni 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because you haven't allowed for time to know each other. Conversation is one thing but, intimacy in such a short period of time is being a bit pushy, especially for someone you've just met.
2006-12-27 21:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that depends on the person. Maybe she was enjoying talking to you and stuff, but had no desire for a more physical relationship. Maybe she was just being nice to you the whole trip. Maybe she liked you but doesn't like affection. It just depends...And Obviously, it was too much to ask of HER.
2006-12-27 21:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by Pooky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times it is hard to place what a persons thinking.
You may have felt that way but, maybe she was just glad to have someone to talk to on this long trip.
2006-12-27 21:11:50 · answer #5 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were in the wrong completely. It's too soon, and you haven't even dated her.
And in a normal date, it's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Most women prefer men to just make the move, but certainly not here.
Plus, she's too old for you.
With all due respect, you don't appear to have a lot of sense or understanding, and if I were a woman, I would have 10th-degreee contempt for you. You would probably make my skin crawl.
2006-12-27 21:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Joe C 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Not necessarily, it depends on the other person, leaning over is OK, if the attraction was reciprocate
2006-12-27 21:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by It´s not worth it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes.... hmmm what if she had ask ummm do you mind if I run my hands up and down your body??? Well ok,,, never mind next question... No seriously.. it wa inappropriate especially in today's society of pervs and worse.. not to say that's what you are... but look from her point of view.. she just met you.
2006-12-27 21:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by lisa n florida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. I think you should get to know them better before physical contact.
2006-12-27 21:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by Jackie T. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes because you just met her... some women are very put back by that and don't know how to reponsd to something like that.. it depends on the woman though :) :) :)
2006-12-27 21:16:19 · answer #10 · answered by sexton 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋