Okay my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years going on 4 in March and sometimes I feel like he's starting to get tired of me. Should I try and open relationship or not? We've talked about it and he said it doesn't matter to him. I mean I would rather him do the open relationship then to cheat.....I just don't know though so have you ever been in one? What is it like? Is it worth it?
2006-12-27 13:01:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why would you want to be with a guy that may want other women? I know you have been together for awhile but that is not an excuse to give your bf permission to openly cheat in front of you! And, yes it is still considered cheating! And, if he is considering this option than he does not truely love you! A man that truely loves you wants to be with JUST you!!!
If you try this open relationship, you will be confused and sad! Aren't you thinking about marriage and kids? you can't do this if your man is with other women!!! I would ask your bf what his intentions are with you...marriage? And, if does not want the same things you do than you need to move on!!! There are lots of guys out there that want the same thing you do...and not share it with other women!!!
2006-12-27 13:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have posed the "open relationship" question to your "boyfriend" and he says "it doesn't matter" to him, let him go, he's not the one for you anyway. If he loves you even a little it should matter a great deal. An open relationship is a BAD idea. It would be better to "take a break" and see if there is a future. Evaluate your relationship while you are apart, and, if it seems like together is better, then pour everything you've got into making it work. If not, better to know now, before there is a child's future to consider.
2006-12-27 13:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by hammer_in_wva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
things will never be the same between the 2 of you if u allow an open relationship. A relationship is based around an exclusive love between 2 people....not 3 or 4 or 4 or 5. Dont resort 2that. If he's in doubt, or if it "doesnt matter 2 him" then ask yourself...."would it matter 2 you?" Could be a differnce in opinion, you 2 might not be on the same page right now
2006-12-27 13:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by Trinity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4 years is a long time, and if you have any long term thoughts or love this guy than ABSOLUTELY NOT. Bringing in another person is only one sure way to cause jealousy, insecurities and fights to start. While for some it might be a new exciting venture, it tears down the relationship you've spent time building on.
Now if neither of you have that Loving feeling anymore then it might be time to call it quits, otherwise try to build a Fishbowl of things you both like to do and pull one out 2x a week if you can. Pinks for you, Blues for him. Try to find ways to put the spark back into your relationship without the extra Baggage.
2006-12-27 13:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you get jealous easily it isn't for you. At the same time i think that an open relationship would be difficult for anyone to endure... how would you really feel if you met the girl that your boyfriend (of 4 years) just met and he was sleeping with her too. Personally i think it's a bad idea. If you guys aren't completely happy together- spend some time apart. and if you get back together agree to not mention what happened during the time in between (if you get back together it's obvious that you guys want to be with each other no matter what it took to realize that and you don't need to know). Talk to him and see what he thinks.
2006-12-27 13:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Actually it's Ashley! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you'd rather have an open relationship than have him cheat, but what would you both be doing in an open relationship? When he's with her he's cheating on you and with you cheating on her. The same for you, with him your cheating on the other guy, with the other guy you're cheating on him. A relationship is a commitment and you never resolve relationship problems, real or perceived, outside the relationship. An open relationship is no relationship at all. Good luck.
2006-12-27 13:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by big dawg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mistake!
Just breakup with him. This is not a relation ship---just b/c he is tired of you,------you will let him go sleep around? it is not like you are married to him. where is your self respect and have you taught about getting std? At this point it doesn't matter you love him or not you should never mention of having an open relationship. he is not going to have a problem of cheating on you. You should have talk to him and take a little brake from each other
2006-12-27 13:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope..
After almost 4 yrs, no marriage proposal, and him agreeing to
an open relationship, I must say you are wasting your time.
You need to break up and move on..
Find a man who wants to love & care for you, keep you as his own.
Swinging / Open Relationships are mostly doomed to failure.
The only thing of this nature that is fairly safe is a 3some with another woman...
The other woman always invited by the wife/gf and the male never contacts her outside of the bedroom.
Never ever allow another couple or man into the relationship.
2006-12-27 13:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talking to each other is the only way you can make things work. Try to think about some special things you did when you 1st got together with him and make a point to do those things together you used to do that made you feel warm in tingly inside.
As far as the open thing I would never do it. You're just looking for trouble.
2006-12-27 13:05:29 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK.. well the 1st think you have to ask yourself.. is.. can you handle knowing he is with other women.. what he is doing with them or saying to them... is he falling for one of them and going to leave you... there is so much that can come up from an open realationship... why not ask him if there is anything he would want to try,, spark things up.... add movies.. toys... go to a strip club with him...get away for the weekend.. spur of the moment... try news things..but unless you are 100% sure that "you" can handle the open relationship.. do go there.... if you's want to take a break... and see were things are in 3-4 months.. try that... take care and good luck! Remember... relationships go through lull's.... and it is up to the ppl in them to get things going again.. spice it up...
2006-12-27 13:12:05 · answer #10 · answered by kAtTs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋