Chuck Norris can:
Make women get naked with his mind
Create a commie out of thin air with his mind
Kill the same commie with his mind
Resurrect the commie again and kill him again... with his bare hands
Armlock the earth into world peace
Turn water into beer
and the biggie...
He can solve the riddle, "Why did the chicken cross the road?".
Im converting to Chuck Norrisianity tomorrow.
Chuck Norris truly is.... a God amongst mortals.
2006-12-27 12:51:14 · 16 answers · asked by Dr. Douche 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
jean Claude Van Damm and Steven Seagal are only alive because Chuck Norris allows them to live.
They aren't even worthy enough to orally clean Chuck's underwear.
2006-12-27 12:55:22 · update #1
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2709891
2006-12-27 12:58:19 · update #2
Oh come on people! Get a sense of humor! Besides he can also win the game of Monopoly in one move, and when he does push-ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down, and when he falls out of a boat he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
2006-12-27 13:02:47 · answer #1 · answered by keri gee 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ah come on, you could have picked a better assortment of Chuck Norris jokes than that! But still, good question. The answer is yes.
Onions do NOT make Chuck Norris cry-- Chuck Norris makes onions **** themselves! What mere mortal can boast such power? God amongst mortals? Try God amongst INSECTS! PARAMECIA, even!
Chuck, thy invincible will be done!
2006-12-27 13:01:44 · answer #2 · answered by CrackityJones_83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evolution is a myth.
There are only those species which Chuck Norris has decided not to kill...for now.
2006-12-27 13:07:45 · answer #3 · answered by marbledog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So why the question...you have all the answers?
Chuck Norris is just a good teacher of the arts.
He's getting old and slow in his moves of his martial art.
Peace....
2006-12-27 13:03:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When Chuck Norris dies, he will be a god among gods.
God will run away screaming like a little pussy when Chuck gives him the evil eye.
2006-12-27 12:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
chuck had many advisers and spirit guides that guided that flesh soul you refer to as chuck
if you played team sport '
u would know its the effort of its many parts that brought the home team ,to be your home team
chuck was of many partsx
which part of this suggests god and by what measure
he is a saint amoung humans
who lived as a living god ,that men know gods are greater stilll than how any mortal be revered
he has his own heaven
it has his many parts ,sorted accoring to his behaviouisms that you respect[recognise] in your sopul brother
but no he is not god just a lower form of christ
ie a saint.
2006-12-27 12:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are wrong, Chuck Norris is not a god among mortals. He is a mortal among Godless living corpses.
2006-12-27 12:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have always loved Chuck Norris because I love watching him do his kicks; but he didn't make the earth, heaven, stars, and us.
So nope, he isn't a god.
2006-12-27 12:56:23 · answer #8 · answered by julie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chuck Norris is a Born Again Believer in Jesus Christ and would be deeply insulted by what you just siad
2006-12-27 12:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by Terry S 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
lol!
What about Steven Seagal?
2006-12-27 12:54:02 · answer #10 · answered by Valєηtiηa ☆ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋