He told me his grandmother and mother moved in with him so he could take care of them. This was confirmed by mutual friends/acquaintances. Should I be worried to get involved? I am a 55 year young female; separated for 1 1/2 years.. it's scary! I need advice.
2006-12-27 12:29:02 · 48 answers · asked by plasticonohen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
only damged goods stay on the shelf that long!
2006-12-27 12:30:36 · answer #1 · answered by DRAX 2 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Hey, going out once or twice doesnt mean you have to marry the guy. I say GO FOR IT, sounds like a great man that has devoted his life (however he may not have pictured it that way) to his mom and his grandmother (this is what we do, take care of our parents when they are old) and you did confirm they moved in with him, HE didnt move in with THEM... Maybe he just hasnt met MS RIGHT yet. I can certainly see why, look at all the people saying 'run away!!!' I bet it would be hard to meet women once they hear the mom/grandma deal.
Go out a few times, have fun. Life is too short, if he's a nice guy at least you made a new friend if he's not your ideal long term man..
Good luck!
2006-12-27 12:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, ask him why he has never married. The fact the he has never been married doesn't mean he has never had a serious or committed relationship. Ask him if he has ever been in love. And taking care of his grandmother and mother. Not really a big deal that they all live in the same house. This is called family! Ask him the questions you want answers to. You can not judge what you think by what it really is. You really don't know until you ask. If he is interesting to you, check him out. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-27 12:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sorry, but 55 years OLD is not very young. And for answering the question: do you like his personality?; can you see yourself being happy with him? you really shouldn't judge him for being a good person. If he really didn't find the right person, that's alright. However, if there is a reason why he hasn't been married (abusive, drugy, alcoholic, etc.) then you need to get lost of him. If he's a good guy, i'd say give him a chance.
2006-12-27 12:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by Carson Brooks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you be worried? Did the friends and acquaintenances give you reason to suspect something is wrong with him? Why assume something when you are not sure of the facts? I know guys and girls older then this guy you are talking about who have never been married and there is nothing wrong with any of them. They just chose the single life. Some people are very picky about dates and if they don't find someone exactly like what they are searching for then they choose not to accept any alternative. In other words, they are not desperate. I have been married twice and I can tell you I don't intend to marry again. It is not that I don't like women or have anything against them but it is just that I like my independence now and I want to keep it and I have friends that feel the same and one is a little older than me and never been married. He is a great guy too.
2006-12-27 12:36:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really depends...if you're looking to get married again then a man like this is a bad idea...He's lived his whole life without being married he will most likely be stuck in his ways..Plus, with a grandmother and mother in his living situation that 's to much female influence to even make a man feel like he needs a woman..Why would he, he has two at home already. Being in a relationship like this you have to be prepared to come second or third to him on a regular basis...He will put them first and by now you can't change that...IF you just want some companionship, I saw he is perfect because he has a lot of practice with the grandma and the mom....
2006-12-27 12:34:45 · answer #6 · answered by getembigger_85027 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey plasticon..
Best advice ??? You can’t go fishing without getting your line wet.
This guy may be bit “off” or he may have very high standards that women he’s met so far in life can’t begin to meet. He may very well be a “diamond” just laying in the dirt waiting to be picked up. Or, he may just be another rock.
You are the only woman who can judge if this guy is what you are interested in and vice-versa.
Pay zero attention to all the posts about age and getting/being old. Age WILL happen to every poster and in a few years they’ll be trying to ask a question and get mean answers. (what goes around comes around) Love and happiness in life has ZERO to do with age.
The one word of wisdom is, do consider the “mother-grandmother” issue as he is being a responsible Adult, caring for his “mother-grandmother” it will be a package “family” until he’s unable to care for them. ( hint: it does speak volumes of his character and sense of responsibility,, in today’s society most adults can’t wait to put their parents into a nursing home, and make off with their money!)
2006-12-27 13:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by logicalanswer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its never a bad idea if you like someone no matter what the age difference is..you probalbly have a right too be scared but part of falling for someone again is the risk ... if you like this bloke and he like you then go for it surely it is worth the chance in the end the decision is yours..has for his mum and grandmother this shows that this man as a caring nature and just because he hasnt been married it doesnt mean he is a bad risk.take a chance...
2006-12-27 13:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by mitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, the red flag is why hasn't he been married at 48? As far as taking care of his mom and grandmother, it is commendable....but does that mean that behind that is a 'mama's boy' issue? I'd say go out once or twice and KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!
If all goes well and you move in with the three of them, then that may present as a new sitcom for next fall....
2006-12-27 12:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Tiberius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I can really empathise with you here as I am in a similar situation.
I'm 50 and divorced (13yrs). He's 48 and never been married. He's had 2 other girlfriends in his life, neither of whom were serious or lasted longer than 18 months.
After 3 years I want to settle down - he is too used to his own space and wants us to stay apart. I can't see the point - I went into the relationship to have someone to live with but I still find myself at home on my own 5 nights out of 7. But he's lovely and kind and gentle and very, very interesting.
So, my advice to you... get to know him, get to go out with him, find out more about him. Then, if you find he's right for you and you want the relationship to go further, find out how he feels about life and relationships.
He's obviously prepared to 'share' his space (unlike mine!) since Mum and G'ma have moved in.
You need to be clear about what you want from the start and, if it becomes an issue - he won't commit to you, he makes excuses etc then you may have to bale out.
You've been on your own 18 months, which is hard at our age - I know. But don't settle for second best. Know what you want from a relationship and go for it. I'm not saying you won't have to compromise (nothing is ever perfect) but when it comes to the basics - marriage v living together, living together v living apart, his mum and where she fits in - you've got to both agree or there's no future for you.
Good luck - and think of me in my situation!
2006-12-27 21:37:20 · answer #10 · answered by Hilary Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not be a bad risk...but he may be set into his ways. Just check him out.........take your time with him. You'll be able to form an opinion soon, I'm sure. I didn't get married until I was in my mid 30s. I just didn't want to....and probably too wild back then anyway. So maybe he was like me, just didn't care to get married at an earlier age. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-27 12:37:24 · answer #11 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋