my daughter is 11 and she is dating a 16 year old man! NOW WHAT! she said she loves him and he came over one time and hes VERY nice and she said "if u really loved me you would let me be with the one that i love!" and he even said he loved her! NOW WHAT!
2006-12-27 12:02:21 · 38 answers · asked by greendayfan12006 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
she wants to be like all her friends they all have bfs!
2006-12-27 12:08:45 · update #1
Then tell her, that untill shes 16, she cant go anywhere with him. (Car dates, movies... etc.) If he really loves her, (as he says) then he will wait that long. And hello he's 16, what the heck is this boy thinking? She doesnt need to be "LIKE HER FRIENDS" they dont know what dating really is like, or anything like that. I understand that it seems kids mature a bit quicker nowadays, but really. Put some good firm guidlines down for this dating situation, & stick to your guns about it as a parent. As well as all the wonderful talks about safe sex, & their consequences of the rest. I have an 11 year old son, and NO way, NO how would I allow him to date, or anything a girl his own age, let alone a 16 year old! Oh, thank goodness my daughter is only 9 months old! Hope it all works out for you & your daughter!
2006-12-27 12:18:13 · answer #1 · answered by ,,!,,baddest~lil~b!tch,,!,, 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There needs to be some serious intervention here. I think you need to get together with this boy's parents and see what page they are on. The should not want their high school son dating a grade schooler! If you get together you may be able to nip this thing in the butt before it goes to far. If you don't work together, sneaking around is going to be all the easier. They are children; you need to use logic with them that they will understand. Intercourse with a female child (below 14 or whatever the state law provides) is rape, which is a felony. They may not be thinking that way right now, although chances are HE is; but it will still be a crime until she is 18 because then he will be an adult. Think about it. You know they will not last that long, but they think they will. Make it very clear to him and his parents that you will prosecute! Do what you have to do to protect your daughter. She is not old enough to be making those kinds of decisions for herself. I have an 11 year old niece... I cannot even imagine! She may be mad for a while, but if you do not step in now, you will regret it. If it comes down to it, talk to local law enforcement and see what can be done. Good luck!
2006-12-27 16:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting your 11 year old date? Is her father in her life... doesn't seem like he is because she is seeking some fatherly figure. Think about what is on the 16 year old boys mind... umm... yeah, if I were you I would forbid it and tell her she might not understand now but in time she will. This should have never got to this point and I would contact her school and the local authorities about this.
As to the comment about age differences being okay... if she were say 21 and he was 26 that would be fine... but you have got to admit there is a big difference between 11 and 16 and an even bigger difference in the thought processes of a 21 year old versus an 11 year old.
2006-12-27 12:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by 2007 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should let your daughter date at the age of 11. My Mafia Mate Joe Lagambi had his daughter raped at the age of 13. She happened to be dated a 19 year old. Your daughter just want attention and I am near certain, not even knowing the situation, that there not even going out on dates or anything. 5 years is a lot if there is two younger people (11-16). That's the same as 8-13 but its also the same as 58-53.
Boys 13 and up have 3 things on their minds; P u s s y, P u s s y, and B l o w j o b s
If it hasn't happened already, can you imagine your little daughters lips around your boyfriends dong
2006-12-27 12:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Regardless of what the other kids are doing or how she feels about him, your daughter is too young to have a boyfriend. You should tell your daughter and her boyfriend that they can't see each other until your daughter is older.
Once you do that you will need to monitor your daughter's activities closely. As a parent you should know where your daughter is, who she is with, what she is doing and who is supervising the activity. She is too young to be going off on her own.
Times have changed since we were kids (I'm in my 30's). Today Elementary schools list kids having oral sex in the bathrooms as a common problem. Some of the kids involved in these activities are 5 and 6 years old. These kids often believe that there is no danger in oral sex, but it has led to a sharp increase in the number of STD's in young children. I fear that your daughter may become sexually involved with her boyfriend if she is not already.
Your daughter may very well tell you she hates you because of the restrictions you put on her but she won't mean it and when she is older she will thank you for it.
2006-12-27 13:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is an 11 year old dating? well she should especially not be dating a 16 year old. the age difference is fine when older but not when one is 11! if you really dont want to forbid it you should at least make sure they are never alone on a date!! a 16 year old's mind is very different from an 11 year old on what they want to do on a date.
2006-12-27 12:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by rockbabe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person above me. I didn't have a serious boyfriend until 13- but we were both the same age, and we didn't do anything sexual- just kissed. It was more puppy love. When I was 16, I was more intimate - mainly pressure though. So I'd really watch this... Not sure how this all happened... but it sounds like trouble. My husband and I met a few yrs ago- he is 28 and I am 24... I find older men are more mature... so we giggle about how I was just going into high school after he had been graduated, and when he was in 7th grade I was in 3rd, stuff like that... it's silly, but now we met when we were older... not in high school or younger. anyways, do not let your daughter alone with him EVER. She needs to be on dates with you present. Goodluck!
LOL you are the parent, so you have the control, not her... but in this case, it kinda sounds like she has control over you.
2006-12-27 12:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by m930 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you the mother? You need to watch what your daughter is doing. She's 11. She has no business dating a 16 year old. If you don't put a stop to it now, she could be 12 and pregnant.
2006-12-27 12:12:54 · answer #8 · answered by wrjones559_1999 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Any 16 year old that would date an 11 year old, is not someone you want dating your daughter. Put you foot down... she will be pissed and hate you, but if you are doing your job as a parent she will do that until she is 19 anyway... and then she will call and thank you.
2006-12-27 12:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by dru a 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
11 is too young to be dating or have a boy friend.
And 5 years while not a problem when older is too large of a spread at this age.
She isn't going to like it when you forbid her to have a boy friend but as the parent you are going to have to make the rules.
I would be very leery of any guy of 16 being interested in an 11 year old. He is either a predator or not very bright/mature. Neither a good thing.
2006-12-27 12:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by ajtheactress 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋