He broke up with my 5 months ago, after a year and a half. I'm 26 hes 26 and I thought I wouldn't ever get hurt by him. I'm shattered. Please does anyone have some good advice, some help.
2006-12-27 11:31:30 · 24 answers · asked by Crazy Heart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
u have to take some time out and work on yourself. being in a long relationship liek that, and then breaking up, takes a toll on how u feel about yourself, ur confidence, feelings of failure, etc... u have to take a deep breath, and decide to Change things from now on.
what i did after a stupid jerk screwed me over, was EXERCISE. i just went to the gym and ran as hard as i could. i lost weight, i started putting on more makeup, doing my hair, just doing things to make myself feel Good. i went shopping too heehee. :) i told myself i would never be stupid enough to let a guy trick me.. instead the next guy had to GO AFTER me, Woo me, Pursue me, cuz I'm WORTH something. so in order to Feel like an awesome chick, i had to work at it.... if u sit around and feel sad and depressed, u look bad, feel bad, and then don't want to do anything or see anyone, which is not good.
i started going out w/ friends more, just having a good time. and what happened was, w/ my more carefree attitude and confidence, i met a guy at my old college roommate's birthday party, and he asked for my #, and became my boyfriend.. he was an awesome guy, and really made it a priority to help me build up my views on men (obviously i was kinda bitter about the old guy). so u will Meet and Learn and SEE who is a great person, great guy, and that person will Want to help u to become happier. THAT is the kind of guy u need to seek, not someone who broke ur heart. me and that guy didn't stay togehter, but we stayed friends and i really learned alot about men, women, relationships, and myself. and that helped me meet the guy i'm with now, and he is just so wonderful.. and i can see how i can change With him, together, in order to make a relationship succeed. good luck dear.. this is all just experience for u to become a Better person, so that u have more to offer to that someone~~
2006-12-27 11:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard. I know you miss him a lot. I miss my ex a lot too. I constantly think about him, I'll cry over him, I'll dream about him at night. It's so difficult. Time is supposed to heal and I know you have been hurt for a while. It's hard to find a new guy that you really want to be with. You have to do things that will help you get your mind off of it. Whatever it takes, call up some friends and go to dinner or the movies, engage yourself in your hobbies or find some new ones, get something nice for yourself when you have the money, and heck just answer some questions on Yahoo Answers, you need to something to get your mind off of him. It's hard to accept, but you must accept the fact that it wasn't meant to be. You'll say you want to forget him, but the facts are you never will. You'll still think of him from time to time, but it will become more rare once you have occupied your time with something else. You will love another, it's not the end of the world, eventhough it may feel like it. He has moved on, but you have not. That is the case it was with my ex. It hurt a lot to think of it that way but in the end it was the truth.
You'll be okay. You'll get through the rough spots. They will make you stronger. You're not alone. I hope all goes well with you getting through this.
2006-12-27 19:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by confused soul 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to stop loving someone. Sometimes you love someone for ever but the pain stops, eventually.
You have to accept that it is really over, stop thinking about getting back together and thinking 'if only' and 'what if'
I read somewhere that you are supposed to think about some little thing that you did not like about him; did he have any annoying habits? You are supposed to learn to hate him for leaving you.
I never worked out how to do that. I can write a list of things that were wrong with the man I love but I have accepted that I still love him and probably always will. It doesnt hurt much anymore. Mostly I smile when I think of him. Sometimes I cry when Im feeling lonely or just before christmas. But I pick myself up and go on without him. I know I will never see him again. I try to be thankful for what we had, the time we had together was so good.
You will meet someone else who will teach you that it is possible to love someone new. The memory will fade.
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Good Luck.
2006-12-27 19:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by cate 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been hurt much worse im sure, after a 3 year relationship. What I did was erase all memories (pics, videos, reminders, household objects, songs on the comp.), and take up a new hobby! I took up excercise....wow was that a good idea! And dont worry, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I already found a new love and I couldnt be happier that my life was previously shattered! As weird as that sounds!
2006-12-27 19:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, after we called off our relationship (we were getting married), I had to move to the other side of the country. It not only takes time, but for me it is taking time away.
It's really tough to heal if everything that you are faced with reminds you of your past. So maybe, take a vacation or just get away. Sometimes that's what it really takes. And I'm so sorry for the hurt that you feel. And I know that you don't want to hear "oh, you'll find someone else" or "it will be okay"...all there is to say about that situation is "it hurts like hell, it sucks, and I freakin' hate it."....and that's the truth. The truth is also, that you will be better...but...you're going to have to understand that it will take time. Be around people that you love,
2006-12-27 19:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Victoria F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how heartbreaking it must've been for you. The only good advice I can give you is try not to let it ruin your life. All relationships have ups and downs and getting hurt unfortunately is a part of it. Try to get a little distraction doing things you like. Go to church. Go out and meet new people... but all this will only help if you are willing to start over again. I hope you feel better and remember that time is the #1 healer. Good luck sweetie.
2006-12-27 19:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by shygal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its time to have fun. Find yourself and be yourself. I f you want to do wild and crazy things do it now because you will be in another relationship before 30 and then it slows down. The dating, the looks, the stares, and the compliments. Get some dates to the movies even if it is with a crown of girls. Girl you better get a life, get two jobs get some income and prepare for the future.
The Love Expert!
2006-12-27 19:39:51 · answer #7 · answered by gettysdeemer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
crazy heart you are going thru what another woman I know is going thru at the same age she is in the middle of a messy divorce the reason that I know about it is that I have loved her for four years after we first met. i contacted her just two months ago and found out that she was getting a divorce and was therefore able to tell her that I had fallen in love with her a Long time ago that has been helping her to cope because she now knows that at least someone really loves her even though its just me. I wish for you someone in your life that will come and work at taking away some of the pain of separation and being let down it is my privilege to being doing that for her and I feel good about that. maybe that will happen to you as well if you let it.
2006-12-27 19:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by doc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of all the really bad things about the guy and more. If you can't think of anything big then dwell on the small stuff and do some aversion therpy. Hurt yourself when you think of him so that way you associate the pain with him and stuff like that. Try calling him an asshole to his face then watch him get mad for hearing the truth about himself, that always works.
Get out there and rebound, but not into relationships.
2006-12-27 19:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by RoadRunner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everytime you start thinking about all the good times you had make yourself remember the reasons why he broke up with you. It takes time to get over someone who had an important part in our lives. Don't dwell on it so much keep your busy find things to do and think about.
2006-12-27 19:38:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋