My fiance and I have been living in our own apartment for a year now. We are 15 weeks from our wedding date, and our lease is up in mid-january. He plans on moving down to his Dad's house, in with his brother. (His dad does not live there, only his brother, who is 22.) He wants me to move with him also, but I'm really not sure I'm comfortable with the idea. The plan is to live there until April, before the wedding, and then buy a house. I know we don't have any real choices, other than myself, going to stay with my mom until we can have our own place again. Should I move with him, to live with his brother, even though I'm not comfortable, or should I just go my own way until we are married? I just really don't want to feel like we have a third wheel all of the time, cooking and cleaning for 3 people, and having no alone time, isn't appealing at all to me. I don't mind doing those things for my fiance, but I don't want to do them for his grown brother. Any advice?
2006-12-27 11:09:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You have to do what makes the most sense for you (both of you), but I know that there's no way I would even consider moving away from my fiance unless it was absolutely necessary. Especially not that close to our wedding - I'd need his support in case I got too stressed out. And moving back in with your mom could cause more stress than you anticipate, unless you have a REALLY good relationship - I love my mom and consider her one of my best friends, but I'm still her child and it would be hard if we were living in the same house.
If you decide to try living with his brother, try setting some ground rules at the start - treat him like any other roommate as far as cleaning, bathroom time, whatever.
2006-12-27 21:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also would say that you should not live together until after the wedding. Even though you are currently living together, start fresh now. I would suggest if moving back home is an okay thing to do that would be fine. You can save money that way and have her there to help with the plans. Also, being apart is good, it will help you to appreciate him more when you are together. If moving back home is not an option, maybe you have a friend that you could stay with until the wedding. My fiance and I were married in July of 2006, we lived 45 miles apart for almost two years while dating, we talked every night on the phone, and saw each other on the weekends. Now we are married and living in another state fully having to rely on each other. As far as living with him and his brother, I would try one of the other options first. We also lived with family when we first moved and it was very hard. I love his family but having our own place now is awesome. I hope that my comments have helped you. Good luck on with your wedding and the rest of your life.
2006-12-27 13:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Joani K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two have been living together and you are engaged...it would be a bad idea to be separated like that. You have made a big decision to marry this guy and you need to tell him how you feel about the whole cleaning up after his brother. Don't think that's your job. Just be there with your fiancee and make the best of things. This is just another hurdle you have in your life with him. There will be many more. It's life. You need to be next to his side through thick and thin.
2006-12-27 16:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's weird to move out before the wedding if you've already been living together. Marriage is through thick and thin, you can't move out when you don't like the circumstances after you're married so you shouldn't do it now.
2006-12-27 11:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by duvalicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think (and suggest) that you don't move in with him until the marriage. It's very ethical that way, and then you'll have all the time with him that you need and not his brother bugging. I really feel that 3 is a crowd, when it comes to family issues (sometimes).
2006-12-27 11:32:43 · answer #5 · answered by redeemedmikel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think moving in with your mom sounds like the better choice. I think that if you move in with him, the stress from his brother could put strain on your relationship with your fiance. No one needs added aggravation in an already stressful time!
2006-12-27 11:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are at all uncomfortable about moving in with his brother than dont do it. It will only cause you two problems.
2006-12-27 13:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will probably solidfy your feelings for him. If there is any doubt in your head over marrying him, moving away will answer them.
2006-12-27 11:17:32 · answer #8 · answered by jamielee1205 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stay with your mom.
2006-12-27 11:56:43 · answer #9 · answered by Catherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋