Do I not sastify my husband?

Question

I have been married for 5 months. My husband and I have sex 4 to 5 times a week. I also watch porn with my husband. I told him that it hurts my feelings when he watches porn by himself and so I made him sexy pictures of me doing certain things with my toys if he ever felt the need to jack off. (since we have sex so often, I didn't figure that he would need to) I came home early from work today and he's been home sick and I started to go down on hima nd he said that he jacked off earlier. I was fine with that, but I later learned that he downloaded porn and jacked off to that. (I found it on the computer, he didn't tell me) Do I not sastify him and should I be worried?

Answer 1

There shouldnt be a reason to worry, if you didnt satisfy him he wouldnt be having sex with you as often. Men have weird ways of satisfying themselves sometimes and porn at times can be the satisfaction they need. Pictures were a great idea but sometimes a man needs to see things in motion, but most women aren't willing to put themseves on tape which is definately understandable. It isnt that you dont satisfy him, he just sometimes must have the need to see it happening but he should have been honest with you about it instead of trying to hide it or keeping it from you. Don't worry, you'd know if you weren't satisfying him.

Answer 2

Sex can be just as much an addiction as smoking or alcohol. I wouldn't keep encouraging his behavior. Decide what you are okay with, and then refuse to humiliate yourself. If you don't like watching porn, don't watch it, and tell him that it is not okay with you for him to watch it while you are around. Then look into getting some help. Most addictions don't get better, they just get worse with time. Another thing to watch out for is addiction shifting. Even if he can control the sex part, he will need to fill the void with something. 12 step programs are successful because they are able to get in and deal with the root issue.

The first link is a list of questions that will help you determine if he has a problem or not.

Answer 3

Hello =)

Well....

If you are young (and it sounds like you are)...then I wouldn't worry too much.....men in their 20's, who have high testosterone levels can really require this much sexual activity.....it has nothing to do with you, or the level of satisfaction you provide.

If, however, he is in his 40's, and still behaving this way, I would say that there is some possibility that he is suffering from a sexual addiction. This, in and of itself may not be a bad thing, but, most sex addicts cheat, and you should know that.

Jacking off, watching porn, and so forth are completely self-absorbed activities...he needs to consider no one but himself. There is some sort of attraction to that type of activity to men. That same self-centeredness is the reason prostitutes are still in business. You can't feel good about using someone you love, purely for your own satisfaction.....it just doesn't sit well....

Namaste, and Happy New Year,

--Tom

Answer 4

Often times when a man wants some "alone time" it's not going to be with his girl friend's pics.

This is about variety and the fact the men are very visual creatures. It's not about cheating. Please try not to be jealous of your husband's use of porn.

Having said that, I am not in favor of the use of pornography but you do need to understand that him using it and his masturbation have nothing to do with him wanting you nor with his satisfaction or happiness with you.

Having sex with a lover takes effort. Sometimes we are too tired (in his case maybe sick) to bother but still need a little tension release.

It's not about you, honey. Do try to see that and relax. You also need to talk to him about how you feel and get his views on why he uses it, etc. Maybe the two of you can come to a compromise.

Answer 5

You can only eat roast beef so many times before you get tired of it...
It's normal for your husband to fantasize about other women and even occasionally sneak a peak.
He does need to get past his sexual addiction though. If the porn bothers you, tell him. If it becomes a major issue, have him seek counseling, or you go alone. If he starts going for other women, dump him and find someone who appreciates you for more than just being a source of release.

Answer 6

A lot of couples have similar problems. If you are unhappy with his actions tell him that it hurts you. Try not to get into an argument about it. Figure out why he needs to relieve himself in those ways. Your guy might love the sex, but it's more of a thrill to them to look at porn (the thrill of getting caught). I also believe that he shouldn't hide things from you!

Answer 7

Don't watch porn with your husband. So many men are addicted to porn and they are ruining their relationship with their wives. It is a family curse passed down from father to son and he'll pass it down to his son. It finally gets to where they can only enjoy sex with pornography. Or when he has sex with you he puts pictures of porn in his head to make it more exciting.

You should be worried, but don't worry not you or any other woman can satisfy him. He is a porn addict. Sex addict.

Explain to him now what he is doing to the marriage and how he is ruining both yours and his sex lives.

Answer 8

I wouldn't take it personally it just sounds like he has a rather large sexual appetite. Another thing is that the more sex you have the more you need. It is true. I was by myself for 8 years - without sex. It certainly became easier not to have it. Once I started again I couldn't get enough. So generally you are creating the monster. Let him masturbate and have yourself a rest!!!! He loves you but he also loves sex!!!!!

Answer 9

Porn is addictive. If you watch it together then he will watch it alone to. You may satify him well. You made him picture of you with your toys. You should worry more about who else ses these if this matters. What is the difference in you and your toys and his chicken choking? Do you us your toys when he is not around? The porn to him is the same as your toys to you. Talk to him about this.

Answer 10

If it hurts your feelings, you need to tell him that each time he does that, its another chance for the two of you to share that has been missed.

If he's doing it to porn that involves things you don't do then you need to talk, maybe experiment, but if it involves things you don't feel comfortable with, then he has to understand that you have needs too. And your needs come before his porn.