I have three children 9, 8 and 2. My 9 year old daughter is very young at heart but I just found out that she is the last child in her class to..... "believe". She evidentaly got into a dispute with her friends in class about it and told them that she was going to get up at 5:30 to prove it. I found all of this out the day after Christmas when my mother told me that she had relayed this information to her. Well I had told her that she couldn't set her alarm for 5:30 Christmas morning because the baby needed to be able to sleep later than that.... (obvioulsy not knowing she was trying to be a detective).
What should I do say to smooth things out with her? I don't want her to loose her innocence, yet I don't want her to get into it with her classmates. Another thing is that we are strong Christians and I don't want her to question her beliefs in God (if you catch my meaning)
Please let me know what you have experienced with your children or how your parents handled this.
2006-12-27 10:23:45 · 10 answers · asked by AmyDMomOf3 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If you have had this discussion with your children please tell me a little about how it went.... Everyone keeps saying break it to her gently and she will understand but no specifics. What do I say? My parents always talked about Santa but come Christmas morning I don't really remember anything extra showing up cause my parents were so excited about the gifts they wrapped them immediately and put them under the tree. Christmas eve looked the same as Christmas morning. So I just went with the flow and never had to have "the talk"... I guess I didn't really dwell too much on Santa. I would like to let her get to that point on her own but what can I say to get her friends off her back without making her look foolish or be imbarrassed?
2006-12-27 15:05:06 · update #1
Santa, in a way, is real. Not in the way your daughter thinks though. I dont think its lying when you do tell your children there is a Santa Claus because the spirit of christmas lives on in everyone that gives during the holiday season.
Explain it to her in that way. Which should help out alot with your dilema now.
When i was a child, i kinda figured it out after a while, but I was never angry about it.
Dont listen to the people that say you should not have lied to her in the first place, in a way you didnt. Santa stands for all the people that give during the holidays.
2006-12-27 10:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by feel_n_learn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why parents lie to children in the first place. What would have been wrong with telling her that at this time of year we give because we love, not because an obese stranger climbs down the chimney?
But for now, tell her that santa is real in a way, because he's an expression of the impulse towards selflessness and generosity. He is a mythical incarnation of that desire to bring happiness to others. And as someone else said, explain about the origins of saint Nicolas, who gave to the suffering poor, and eventually over the centuries grew into the character we know today - incidentally, a visual figure which was created by the Coca-Cola company in America. Go figure. Good luck.
2006-12-27 13:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter is 9 and just found out that there is no Santa. She asked me and I was honest with her. She took it really good and is happy to keep the spirit alive for her younger sibling. I think you should talk to your daughter just you and her and ask her what she believes and why. Its up to you at that point whether to tell her the truth (which at 9 is the age most kids find out) or not. If you do, tell her the story of Saint Nickolas and that we keep his spirit alive by continuing to give gifts as he did. Take Care honey.
PS: We are Christians too and my daughter didnt question her faith when I told her there is no Santa.
2006-12-27 10:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mother of an 11, 5 and 4 month old. My eldest still believes!! Her classmates as well have found out the "truth" about Santa. She hasn't came to me and asked if he was real or not, but mentioned the other children not believing. I leave it up to her, I say that Santa comes as long as you believe, and when you stop believing in him then your parents kinda take over for him.
2006-12-27 10:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by helpmeplease 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly why I'm opposed to the Santa thing. And it plays out differently but with the same kind of hurt and or embarrassment with almost all kids. I love Christmas, but Santa I can do without.
2006-12-27 11:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that that there is a Santa that lives in her heart and is real because of the Christmas spirit.
2006-12-27 11:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents never told me there was no santa claus. They just told me if I didn't believe in him then he wouldn't bring me any presents. I didn't want to be the one to tell them there was no santa claus, I guess I thought they believed in him and I didn't want to ruin it for them.
2006-12-27 10:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
believe what in Santa,? being in public school she is going to hear things that you do not want her too. You should homeschool your kids or they are all going to hear and do things you do not want them to know.
2006-12-27 11:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well talk to her in a gental way and try to explain it to her that she wont question her beliefs. although kids grow into adults one day she would know but its better to find it now!
2006-12-27 10:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should have never lied to her to begin with. Children eventually grow up into adults, and find out with embarresment about the grand lie of santa clause. If you are really a X-ian, then don't rely on santa to bring the love of the season into her heart, tell her about jesus and that junk. I remember when I found out that I was part of the large group of kids who found out the truth that I was lied to for years about santa. Eventually they get over it, but it takes time, as with anything this severe. Not only that but it's now affecting her behaviour infront of her peers. Stop lieing to your child and be honest. There is no santa. End of story. Better she hears it from you then anyone else. Right? Save her from any further embarressment.
2006-12-27 10:31:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 8⤋