She choses to believe him and pretends nothing is wrong. Our family is very upset w/ her.
2006-12-27 10:06:40 · 28 answers · asked by mary d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your sister is delusional. She refuses to look at reality because it's too shocking. You need to report your sister's husband's a*ss to child services.
2006-12-27 10:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There have always been instances of false accusations, but there are FAR more instances of true molestation and indecency. Let's not even START talking about the ones that go unreported. I don't know what relationship the child is to your sister, but how do you think it makes the child feel to know she had the courage to tell the truth and people didn't believe her? Unless the parent of the child is a known liar or the child is known to make up stories, etc..ALWAYS, ALWAYS err on the side of caution and protect that child. Your sister loves her husband. Who would want to admit that their husband has leanings toward pedophilia? If your sister owns a computer, the answer may lie within the files there. She could have it examined. Men with these tendencies have patterns of behavior. As far as your relationship with your sister goes, encourage her. Don't treat her as an outcast. If he has not been convicted of anything, no one has the right to assume he is guilty. The family may know some things about him she is afraid to see. Be honest with her about what you're feeling. Tell her you love her and feel for what she's going through -- either way. Can you imagine how she feels right now? It's easier for her to pretend it doesn't exist than to accept that her husband prefers little girls to her. If you need to confront her as a family, do it in love. Ostracizing her will never help the situation. If he IS guilty, her isolation from the family will be fodder for his control issues. Let her know you're trying to keep an open mind, but will always side on protecting the child. I wish you the very best. I've BEEN a victim. Nothing hurts more than being told no one believes you.
2006-12-27 10:25:38 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
different than for using for a pardon from Gov. Perry, there's no longer lots which may well be executed at this ingredient. After 9 years, any techniques interior the appellate technique you have no longer used have been effectively exhausted. Given the character of the offense, this is not likely that any new themes have developed that weren't explored at your preliminary trial or that any exculpatory cloth has been got here upon. Couple that which comprise your willful (interior the criminal experience) dismiss for the no touch order stipulated via the words of your probation and... the single ingredient that could help with an utility for a pardon is that because of the fact the time of your conviction, Texas has enacted a "Romeo and Juliet" provision protecting those with a 4 12 months or much less difference in age from statutory rape/indecency rates stemming from a courting with an underage better half. word that the replace in regulation delivers an arguing ingredient for a pardon on grounds of justness/fairness, yet no longer an entitlement.The replace in regulation isn't retroactive (would not save on with to those convicted previous to the replace). on the different hand, one important impediment must be the shown fact that we are springing up on a gubernatorial election, meaning Perry may well be extra reluctant to grant pardons of any sort.
2016-11-23 20:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he's been charged, not convicted, right? This is your sister's HUSBAND, her lifelong partner and, in theory, the person who currently knows here the most intimately as he presumably spends the most time with her. She is clinging to the hope that he is innocent. I understand it's hard not to quickly convict someone in their minds before they've had their given right to a trial, but it would also be extremely unfair to your sister to make her pick sides. Be smart, don't let him be around your kids obviously, but don't shun, harass or ridicule your sister for her choice. It could only make things worse. Try to put yourself in her shoes and be accepting. She's done nothing wrong but to trust her husband. If he gets convicted, maybe she'll come to her senses.
2006-12-27 10:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello =)
Do not be judgmental of your sister. I'm sure she has her reasons. At the same time, she must understand that the rest of the family cannot support her husband in this, no matter what.
You need to explain to her that everyone still loves her, and will always support her, but it is a different case with her husband.
She will be able to deal with this in time, and, if her husband goes to prison, she will need her family very much.
Namaste,
--Tom
2006-12-27 10:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boy is that a tough one. It's not uncommon for her to take her husbands side. Mothers often take there husbands side if put in a similar situation. All you can do is hope and pray that the rift in you're family some day heals.
2006-12-27 10:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It needs to be her decision. Even though you don't agree. The charge may be unfounded and people like to jump to conclusions on hearsay. I would let her stand by her man until it reaches the court and all the facts are laid plainly on the table.
It wouldn't be the first time for false accusations and hopefully it isn't true, but you are still her sister no matter what, and you don't have to like him, but you will lose her if you try pressuring her to believe anything until it is all out in the open and she believes it for herself.
2006-12-27 10:12:36 · answer #7 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frankly I don't blame you or your family for being so upset with your sister. I have no tolerance for child abusers. So, my biggest concern is for the kids in your family, not your brother-in-law or your delusional sister. Keep the kids away from him -- forever. Abusers don't change, they just change tactics. So if he gets "help," don't give him any second chances.
As for your sister... I say pray to God for her. She is misguided and needs help that only God can provide. No matter how much you talk to her, yell at her, or ignore her, she is probably not going to change her mind right now. There could be numerous reasons she is siding with him. She could be scared to stand up to him. If he is abusing kids, he very well may be abusing her. She could be standing by his side because of some mis-guided advice from a religious leader. She could just be in deep denial. Who knows. When she comes out of her denial-coma, suggest to her that she get professional help.
Good luck--I sincerely hope things work out for the child victim in your family. I know from personal experience that it is a lifelong battle to deal with sexual abuse. Make sure that child knows that it is not his/her fault. Make sure that child knows you love him/her. It is a long, hard road to recovery, but there is light at the end of the road. Trust in God -- I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true.
2006-12-27 12:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by Christina M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is in denial. Eventually she will have to accept the truth about her husband. The rest of you need to stay grounded in the reality of what happened and do whatever you can to prevent it from happening again. And I sure hope the child is getting professional help.
2006-12-27 11:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kathy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the sort of tragedy that can destroy a family.
Think before you do anything. Are you sure he is guilty? Have you examined the evidence? If you were his wife, what would you do?
Try to keep it civil. It is a crisis, and a family needs to be as united as possible during a crisis. I wish you the best.
2006-12-27 10:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by tlakkamond 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋