Parker, my 3yr. son is Autistic. His irregular tantrums have become rapidly rife & fierce. How do I help him?

Question

While Parker’s diagnosis is now a year old, he has not been affected by tantrums until about a month ago. They are extremely erratic and unruly. I will not become the parent of the Autistic child who keeps their trouble locked up at home. I am very proud of who my son is and will someday be. I must find a way to help him.

Answer 1

Do you have an ABA therapist working with you? Is he in public schools? What kind of therapists do you see? Do you see them in their office, in your home, in public settings? Do you have a set schedule or routine that he can count on, so that he can let go of some control elsewhere without fear?

I admire that you don't want to be 'trapped' by your son, but with that comes the great responsibility of TEACHING him how to act and replacing those negative behaviors with positive ones. You have years ahead of you of practice as well as reward in every setting in which you wish to see him succeed.You don't say what kind of therapy you are using, how long you've been using it, or what kind of assistance you have. all of those answers would help define the question for more accurate answers.

I have two autistic kids, one HFA and the other LF. Our LF kid we have worked very hard, for five or six years, to get her to be able to communicate and to be able to handle things that used to drive her crazy. It takes that much work to get there, it will NEVER just happen. It started with being able to walk into the mall. We rewarded with candy (you have to make it worth their while, they will not do it just to 'please' you, that's a fundamental deficit in autism, they don't see your perspective, yes?). Once she could enter the mall, then we worked on walking to one store. Then we left. Over and over for six months. Now we can take her to the mall, she holds our hand nicely, looks in the store, and can verbally request treats or clothes. It took years to get there, and speech therapy, occupational therapy, sensory treatments and behavioral therapy. We practiced social stories at home, we practiced social skills at the psychologist, we practiced at the mall.

Feel free to edit to post more info, or email me privately. My kids are eleven and nine, and I've had probably more training than I care to admit in behavior, nonverbal communication, all kinds of therapy, etc.

Good luck anyways.

Answer 2

Interesting to me that he has just started tantrums... tantrums are pretty common to children on the PDD spectrum, since the communication is so low. Children with autism/PDD need the security of stability and knowing what to expect next. Has anything in his life changed dramatically in the last month? New baby, moving, family members moving, etc.? Unpredictability, ironically can really affect a child with PDD. He needs to know what is happening so that he can plan it within his head. Even something as simple as transitions can be traumatic to him. Perhaps there is something bothering his sensory system. All children with autism have some sort of problem with integrating their sensory systems... some are hyper-sensitive, while others are hypo-sensitive, and many have a combination of both. Perhaps there has been a change that you have not thought of that is affecting him... change in laundry detergent, new pajamas, all the hype around Christmas- all these things, large and small can significantly affect a child with autism. The hard part about being a parent of a child with autism is playing detective... you know best what sets him off with trial and error, and you have to keep trying to figure it out all the time. While this investigative technique can be tiring, you are his best asset and link to the world. Without being able to observe your child or more details, I can't really offer any more suggestions at this time. Try to see what is setting him off, look for triggers of all kinds, and investigate even the ones you don't think could be the problem. Children with autism are amazing and unique, and as long as you keep looking for solutions to behaviors, your child will have the tools to succeed.

Answer 3

Pay close attention to when those tantrums occur. Has he eaten something specific? Has he been watching a certain tv program? around certain people? too much stimulation? frustrated for some reason? I understand that having autism causes a hypersensitivity to the nervous system or an overload somewhere in the brain. So, it's like being so overwhelmed that you cannot cope. A 3 yr old is already like that so having autism on top of it would compound it tremendously. Sometimes, even being touched is actually painful to them. So, try to provide a 'zone' where he is safe, quiet, peaceful...etc. If you cannot do that in a store, sometimes just going to a back corner and quieting them down will help. Just remember it's not rebellion or control...it's his feeling of having NO control that is causing the 'tantrum'. Also, please work with your/his pediatrician, they will be glad to assist you. What a great name Parker is. I love it! God bless you and him as you navigate through this life with him.

Answer 4

Is he seeing an occupational therapist? Children with autism have difficulties with sensory processing/integration which can commonly lead to meltdowns when their environment is too stimulation for them. I'd strongly recommend reading "The Out-of-Sync Child," and "The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun" which are both about sensory processing and activities that can help a child regulate him or herself.

Pay close attention to the kinds of activities your child does when no one is actively trying to engage him. These are called comfort zone activities and are usually those activities that make the child feel most safe and regulated. Deep pressure/proprioceptive input are often calming for the autistic child and can prevent a meltdown. The above two books provide excellent examples of these types of activities as well as explanations of what proprioception and deep pressure are. An occupational therapist can help provide a "sensory diet" which will be tailored to your child and helping him stay regulated throughout the day to prevent meltdowns.

Has something in your child's environment or schedule changed in the past moth? This could be causing extra stress that is leading to the meltdowns. Also, he may be developmentally and language-wise at that 18 month old level where tantrums really start because he cannot communicate to you his needs and desires. An occupational therapist/speech language pathologist can help in this area.

My final suggestion is to research the PLAY Project headed by Dr. Richard Solomon in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Check out www.playproject.org and www.floortime.org. This is an excellent program for children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders that helps them move through different functional levels. A PLAY consultant would come into your home once a month for 3 hours and teach you PLAY concepts for playing with your child in a way that will help draw out certain behaviors and skills to move him through these functional levels. It is very effective with many children, and is a very unobtrusive therapy that can be done in conjunction with other therapies. You must make a commitment to spend 15-20 hours of direct one-on-one play with your son. I have seen children go from completely unengageable to intiating countless pretend and symbolic play opportunities with others.

If you have a local Easter Seals, check them out. They provide wonderful services to children with autism (and many other disorders). Try reading Stanley Greenspan's "Engaging Autism." It is an excellent resource and really explains his Floortime approach (which is the idea behind The PLAY Project) as well as techniques for dealing with difficult behaviors in children with autism.

I wish you the very best of luck and I wish your son a bright and happy future! Thank you for caring so much!

Answer 5

my son was diagnosed mild PDD. Although he doesn't have tantrums, he is more ADHD like (very hyper, hard to focus, etc). I find that routine helps immensly. Autistic kids need a strict routine or schedule. If something comes up that will be upsetting that schedule then you need to warn him in advance and talk about it before hand. We had to do this for awhile with my son and I found having a routine chart that he could check off each day as to what he was doing was very helpful for him and he enjoyed seeing what was going on in his day! We did ...breakfast, get dressed, playtime, lunch, playtime, dinner, bath, bed. Something similiar to suit your day. This site is where we printed the chart from:

http://www.chartjungle.com/

Some people also carry business type cards with them in public to help explain their childs behavior if they have a meltdown in public. It spread awareness and helps with the stares some people so rudely give. You can check it out at :

http://www.autism-pdd.net/testdump/test408.htm

Good luck , I know it can be difficult at times! Hang in there!

Answer 6

I have worked with a number of children with autism, varying in degrees of severity. One of the boys had horrible tantrums, in fact he broke my nose once, and we bought a small tent and used it for a "quiet" place to put him in when he got out of control. We let him put his name on the outside of it and no one else could use it, so he knew it was safe haven . Sometimes he fought going in but I calmly and firmly had him go in, did not take no for an answer, and he would wind down out of the tantrums and on occasion even fall asleep for a short amount of time. Other times he would take himself in there. There were other children around most of the time so there was still noise but the visual stimulation was minimal and he didn't have anyone bothering him directly, and it lessoned the external influx of stimuli which often overwhelms children with autism, so he was able to seperate from the stimulation and calm down. By the way the tent is one of those collapsable ones if space is an issue but something about seeing it there all the time helped both of us and I explained to the other children that when he was in there, they were NOT to agitate him, just let him be.

Answer 7

Your son could be on sensory overload. Do a web search on "sensory defensive" or "highly sensitive". There's a book "Too loud, too bright, too fast, too tight" It talks about practical things to do to help with this. Autistic people are often extremely sensitive to things that others might not even notice.

Congratulations on your big heart. I raised a son with Tourette's Syndrome, so I have some idea of how hard it is for you.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

You need to partner with your pediatrician and find a local support group we have a thing in GA called Babie's Can't Wait. Look it up maybe it can help you. Good luck