What can I do???

Question

I have a very ill sister she's 13, "mentaly ill ", she acts and thinks like a 2 years old child, her medical life is very long, what i want to say is that we are very close together because she is the only sister that I have, all the time she wants to be near me and she gets upset if I talk with somebody else in her presence, upset means peating everybody around, shouting and destroying everything, when she is calm she's very funny she's just like an angle and she's very sensitive she's always laughing , she keeps saying how much she loves us and her kisses never stops many people suggested to put her in institution but when we look at her and how much we love her we just could'nt especialy Mum she'll never agree, the problem is I'm getting married in few months and I know what will be the result if she comes, what can I do?

Answer 1

Sounds like a really tough situation. You've already said, a institution is not the answer, so just put that out of your mind. She's your sister, but it's your big day and your life.
Two year olds are very possessive. You need to get her use to the idea of sharing you. She needs to find something else to focus on. The reality is you're not going to be there 24hrs / 7day a week anymore. She has to make adjustments, and it's going to take some tough love on your part.
I would find constructive things to put her attention into to, such as painting, perhaps a hearty pet (Turtle, big dog). Something that can be her's. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out. If it's any help, I had a good friend that drank way too much at my wedding. He was like a two year old. :-)

Answer 2

Start now explaining to her what is going to happen. I would bet that she acts out because she thinks that you can only love one person--right now its her, but if you were to marry someone then you would love them and not her anymore. I'm not sure if she is able to attend the wedding in person--that would depend on whether or not the family has socialized her. But...it sounds like you guys could use some professional help. There are lots of steps between getting no outside help and institutionalizing your sister. I've known many folks and have family members with developmental issues. The extent the person was integrated into daily life depended on how much that person could handle. You are going to have to have lots of patience, but also--this is your wedding day; and if you will be distracted or obsessed that things will not turn out with your sister in attendance, then don't have her there. You can always stop by after the ceremony/before the reception with you new husband to visit with her and show her that you still love her. However, the moving to a different country part (info from your other post) will probably cause more issues than the actual wedding ceremony.

Answer 3

Tell your mom your sister is too ill to handle the wedding. That's about the most tactful way I can think to phrase things. Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 4

She is your sister and I am sure she would like to be there for her sister. If you sit down with her and explain that you want her at the wedding but she has to behave will she understand? I think you should invite her to the wedding and have your mom watch her.

Answer 5

Hard to say, its kind of a sticky situation.