my son biting?

Question

ok i need some help here. my son is 2 and everytime he gets mad at his brother he bites him my husband tried putting soap in his mouth did not work, putting him in time out does not work. nothing helps. any ideas would be GREAT. thanks

Answer 1

DO NOT BITE HIM BACK OR PUT HOT SAUCE IN HIS MOUTH! I can't believe so many suggest hurting a child to teach him a lesson! Biting him back will only reinforce the message that biting is okay. "If mom can bite me, I can bite someone." Biting back is a punishment. He needs to be disciplined in order to learn self control. Those of you, who suggest biting back, stop offering such abusive advice and go take some parenting classes, read some parenting books and educate yourselves!

Has he gone through any new changes in his life (new baby or one on the way, family issues, move, new school…)? If so, he may be feeling powerless. Children who bite will do so because it gets attention and it feels powerful. Help him to feel powerful by saying things like “You did that by yourself!” “You stacked every block!” “You can jump super high!” “You used so many colors on your picture!” These phrases are great confidence builders, great ways to show love and attention, and great ways to help him to feel powerful in a positive way.

When he bites his brother, rush to his brother and empathize. Say things like “Ouch! That must have hurt! Let’s get some ice to put on that.” Ignore your son. He will not like feeling left out. You can also be overly dramatic about it when he approaches his brother. Say to him “I worried you might bite your brother.” Have his brother move away from him. Another thing you can try is to remove him from his brother if he bites. Take him to a quiet area where there are now distractions (the couch, a quiet room) and say “When you are ready to be gentle you can come back with us.” This is not a time out because you are not setting a time limit (you controlling him). He can return when he is ready to control himself.

Take your son aside and ask him to let you show her how teeth feel on skin. Press his forearm against his upper teeth as if he were biting himself, not in an angry revengeful way, but as a parent making a point, "See, biting hurts!" Give this lesson immediately after he bites you or someone else.

I would also empathize with him after a biting incident. "You must have felt very (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated) when you bit "John." What can you do next time instead?" Do some role playing with him. Also, help him to empathize with his brother. “Wow! “John” must have been really (upset, hurt, mad) when you bit him.” He will learn to express his feelings, learn to empathize, and learn new ways to approach a situation rather than bite. Check out the following link. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t063900...

Answer 2

Hi! People are telling you to bite him back.DONT... that's mean.

My son is 7 now, but when he was 2 , he would bite out of anger. Children don't know how to vent their anger, they need to be taught. What we did, was as following:
After the bite, or just before , if I was quick enough, I would sit him on my lap and simply say, Biting hurts.

I had to do this for a couple days. It was working! Then, one day he decided to bite ME. He did it right after I took him away from his older brother because he was going to bite him over a toy issue.
So, I played it up. I said owey, owey, owey, I pretended to cry. He looked at me, stunned. Then he put his finger in his mouth, and came over and hugged me. I stopped the act, put my hands gently on his shoulders, and said, " Biting hurts."
That night during dinner, I said to him,"See, you only bite food."

This worked for us. I hope it will work for you. You really need to be consistant though. Swatting and biting back arent going to help. That will teach him that hurting is ok. Im sure you realize this, though! Taking toys away is not going to help either. Kids dont understand that concept when they are only 2. If he hits somebody with the toy, then take it away. The punishment has to fit the behavior. Here are a few books I recommend on parenting.

Kids Are Worth It! by Barbara Collorusso
The Family Virtues Guide by Linda Kavelin Popov
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen ( cant remember author )
How To Listen So Kids Will Talk ( same author )

Answer 3

Don't bite the child back. Don't spank, don't bite back. This only reinforces the idea that if you dont like what someone does, it is ok to hurt them physically. What kind of example does that set for a child who is already biting? Both of my sons went through a hitting phase, and the behavior would have only continued if I had decided to hit them back. Instead, I stated firmly "NO" with an upset look on my face and tell him that it hurts when he does that. That response is no different than how I parent in general. Even as young children, when I told them "no" I also explained the consequences for that behavior. If I didnt want them to play in the cat food, I said "no," expressed my displeasure by my facial expression, and explained that if he turned over the cat food, she wouldnt have any food to eat and she will be hungry. I want to raise thinking children that refrain from behavior because they understand that it is wrong, not simply because I said no.

Answer 4

I wouldn't bite him back as my 1st choice. But if you decide to do that make sure that your force is equal. Do NOT bite him as hard as you THINK he bit his brother. You are more likely to bruise him or brake his skin and I don't have to tell you about the infections caused by the bacteria in the human mouth. I tried other alternatives first but I have to admit, he hasn't bit since I bit him back. It only took once. But I will never forget the look of horror on his face when he realized that I just hurt him on purpose. Remember, they trust you to protect them. So just be prepared for it.

Other alternatives - ALWAYS remind him that biting hurts. You can put a LITTLE dab of apple cider vinegar on the back of his tongue. The taste lingers a little longer there.

Just a thought - what is your other son doing to bring on the anger bites? You may just be catching the retaliation because it leaves a mark. If you knew what was "setting him off" you could stop him before he bites - which is probably the best solution.

Answer 5

Oh my, this is a problem. I have taught young children for many years, and I have even seen it in the classroom. It will take a lot of work, but you will not be able to leave the two of them alone for awhile. This way you can monitor what is provoking the behavior. It is a pain, but worth it. Since children seem resilient and happy, it is easy to forget how hard young children work on developing their social skills. The games that go on between young children can be both sophisticated and manipulative. You will know what to do when you observe and find out what the problem is. Good luck. In time, it will work out.

Answer 6

Best cure I ever found for a child that bites. One good bite right back at him. It always worked when my kids used to bite. Sounds cruel, but better than putting up with him doing it all the time.

Answer 7

It is normal for children at 2 to bite. They don't have the vocabulary to let others know what is bothering them, so they do what they can, they bite. Try to figure out what i triggering the biting. Is your other son taking his toy, pushing him, or just getting in his way? Is he teething? If you can figure out the trigger, then you can try to stop the biting by talking through the incident with your child. At 2 he can understand more then he can communicate back to you. Talk to him about what we use our teeth for. "It hurts your brother when you bite him, we don't use our teeth to bite our brother with we use them to eat with." Offer him a teether on a paci-finder to chew on. Let him know that he can bite that when he is angry or upset. Let him know that it is OK to bite the teether.

As a LAST RESORT..... bite him back, just enough to let him know that it hurts, but not enough to hurt him.

Answer 8

I have 3 girls and they all tried the biting thing. I bit them back and 2 of them stopped immediately. My middle child was a little more stubborn, I had to bite her back 3 or 4 times before she stopped. I hated doing it, but it's the only way they will know that biting hurts and how it makes someone feel when they do it. Just like punishing no parent likes to do it but we have to so they will learn to do better. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 9

stop talking him to death and tell him there is a consequence. he bites, he is removed and put in his room-no words, just do it. don't bite him that is asking for a power struggle. It also sends a message that biting is ok.

Answer 10

Ok, I know this sounds back, but trust me, it WORKS. My sister breast fed her daughter until about 19 months (I know, long), but she was biting, and she bit her nipple. Before that she'd been biting her father and older brother. Finally mad enough, she bit her back, and it NEVER happened again.