I have been dating this guy for about 10.5 months. He has children and we have talked about me meeting them in the near future. I don't have kids but I really love and support the excellent father he is. I am really nervous about meeting them ...what do I say?? What if they don't like me?
2006-12-27 08:54:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was only dating my boyfriend for two months when I met his 12 year old daughter who lives out of state. I found that just by being myself was the best route. I didn't try to be her mom, didn't try to scold her, etc... .I just acted like I wanted to be her friend. At first she was a little reserved, but within a few weeks, she and I were hanging out, going to the beach, shopping, etc. If you just be yourself and they still don't like you, it might be jealousy of a new person in their Dad's life.. but most likely they will come around eventually
2006-12-27 09:01:14 · answer #1 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello =)
I managed (somehow) to marry a woman with 2 teenage children, and make it work.....
My advice for meeting, and being with them is this:
Approach them as equals, never from a place of superiority. You are not a parent to them, and that thought must be ever-present in your mind. If you have a problem with them, ever, your only recourse is through your boyfriend. At the same time, if you see your boyfriend behaving in some way that you think is inappropriate towards them (like not letting them have their friends over, when, obviously you are there as "dad's friend"), then, you must stick up for them, and act on their behalf with their father.
By acting as their advocate to their father, but never as their parents they will always look upon you as their friend.
And that's how I survived.
My stepson still calls me on the phone regularly, from California, even though his mother is long dead, and he's in his 30's now.
Namaste, and Happy New Year,
--Tom
2006-12-27 17:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should say depends on there ages. Just talk to them the same way you would talk to any kid there age. Be interested in what they are saying. Most importantly just be yourself. Also, there first reaction may be that they dont like you, it's ok, you may be seen as the enemy because you are with there dad and they are used to seeing him and it being just them and him. So, be prepared for that, although, you may be surprised and it may go very smoothly. Ask them about school, if they are into any sports ask about that. The best thing is listen to what they have to say. It will be easier than you think.
2006-12-27 17:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, they will make you feel comfortable. I'm sure their father has already spoken to them and they are probably as excited to meet you as you are to meet them.
Be yourself and enjoy the experience.
2006-12-27 16:58:45 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself! Don't try to be all cool and hip. Just be you and ask them questions about themselves. If they clam up, don't ask anymore, but if they respond good, keep asking. Kids love to talk about themselves. Subjects: pets, school, friends, out of school activities, sports, music, etc.
Good luck, relax and have fun!
2006-12-27 17:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be kind and understand they are children and they might not like you at first but hang in there
2006-12-27 16:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by atbkkj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋