I have known this guy for about 15 years now and we are good friends. About 5 years ago we did have a fling but nothin came of it. Anyways, im not at all interested in him that way anymore, but now he's told me that he wants to be more than friends again. He has been asking me out non-stop for weeks now. Im not sure how to tell him that im not interested. He's a really nice guy and i dont wanna damage our friendship. How can i get that accross to him without hurting his feelings?
2006-12-27 08:49:15 · 13 answers · asked by Amy C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Pretty much just tell him what you just asked. You're not interested. If he asks, "Why not?" (and he probably will), have your answer planned out already. Think about what kind of guy he is and try to come up with an unhurtful way to explain your incompatibility.
2006-12-27 08:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by lejosmcoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, Amy.
The best way to tell a guy that you are not interested is by addressing this directly in a nice, positive but firm manner:
"Hey, we have been knowing each other for a long time. I really respect you and value you as a friend, and I owe you competely honesty. You are a great friend, but I am not interested in your romantically. I really don't want this to affect our friendship, and I would much rather see you pursue other women. I hope you understand." - this should do the trick!
Thanks,
Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
2006-12-27 08:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by PracticalHappiness.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to not hurt his feelings is to hurt his feelings. Sit down and be totally honest with him that you don't want a relationship with him. Tell him you tried it out and it didn't work. Because if you don't tell him now and drag it along for months or even years when it finally comes out it be more painful to him because you gave him false hope by stringing him along. I know it seems cruel but women seem to consider feelings sometimes by holding back their true feelings because they're afraid to hurt some one. It's better now then later!
2006-12-27 08:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Vesdog! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say "look, i know we've kinda had feelings for each other in the past and that didn't work out too well. I rele value our friendship and i rele don't want us to fall out over a relationship gone bad, especially since we've been friends for so long. I just don't think its worth losing a gd friendship. So, we kl?
2006-12-27 08:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by trida702 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand u don't want to hurt his feelings but if u tell him in a way that he would understand that u r not intersted I'm sure he will come around and except your decision although his feelings will be hurt,but that is temporary.
And hopefully that won't brake up yall friendship!!!
2006-12-27 08:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you value your friendship with him. Let him know he is important to you but you can not be more than friends. If you are as good as friends as you think, he should be OK with it and appreciate you being honest and not giving him the run around.
2006-12-27 08:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to start, you arent going to get out of this without hurt feelings. Just be honest. Tell him how you feel. Most men will respect your honesty. Just move on and tell him thats how it has to be. Dont worry about him. Take care of you
2006-12-27 08:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by jake622003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say, "I'm flattered that you want to start dating but that could potentially damage our friendship. I value our friendship too much to risk loosing it so lets just continue to be good friends."
2006-12-27 08:57:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're not interested in dating right now and don't want to risk ruining your friendship by dating anyways. If he can't handle it, he doesn't deserve you anyways.
2006-12-27 08:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by admtraz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you vaule your friendship and not willing to damage it.
2006-12-27 08:55:36 · answer #10 · answered by Marina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋