Hey, Im 23 and been dating this guy (27) for awhile now. He is the best thing thats ever happened to me. Im so happy with him. The only problem is, im freakin out!
We are talking about getting engaged in July or so, which i THINK is what I want. But I have a horrible fear that Im wrong?
He wants to get a place together when we get engaged and plan the wedding but Im so scared!
How do I know hes the one? Everything is pointing to yes, but why am I panicking about it??
2006-12-27 08:40:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your not sure if he's the one, then maybe he's not. When you are in love and ready you'll know it. I moved out with my fiance when we were 19 and we couldn't wait. Although we didn't get engaged until a few months ago and we are both now 25. We also had been dating for almost 4 years before we moved in together. Maybe since this guy is a little older than you he maybe ready to move faster. Your still young take your time.
2006-12-27 09:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by Ceci 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving in makes us a piece of butt, nothing more. The fact that you are only 23 tells me that you need to mature a bit more, say ...25.
Also, what have you done with your life? Did you finish college and make a decent living? What does he do for a living? If he has no college and no profession, you are asking for it. What about the lenght of the relationship? 2 years or so is the minimum.
I don't mean to give you a hard time; I am only being quite realistic with you. Being is love is truly a blessing, but the hype usually subsides after a year or two and your true colors come into view. Marriage is a holy institution and one that will change your life like no other. Besides, with half of all the marriages in the world ending in divorce, you should never assume anything and plan for everything. I also advise that you hold off on the children for the first couple of years so that you have a chance to travel and iron out your differences.
You may agree with me or not, but I ask that you consider this: Mr. M has lived a long time and has been married for a number of years.
I truly wish you the best. Remember, life is to be lived intentionally. You happiness is on your hands.
Sincerely,
Mr. M on "should I move in?"
2006-12-27 09:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are panicking because this is a huge step in your life. Marriage is serious business that theoretically means a partnership for the rest of your life! It means sharing responsibilites and dealing with problems together and if it were to not work out, things could get ugly with financial battles and children, etc. Its basically a life changing event. If I were you, I would take a bit of time alone, without seeing him to get your mind straight and evaluate what kind of life you would have together. My mom used to tell me that its not really all about how nice they are to you when they treat you well, but you have to examine how they treat you and others when they are mean, mad, angry etc. Because in the long run, thats the kind of stuff that could really end up making your life miserable. Imagine how he would act if things didnt work out, and you had children or mixed money. Would he be spiteful and vindictive or is he friends and on good terms with his exes and is genuinely a nice person who doesnt want drama. Basically just take time away from him to make sure that this is what you want for the rest of your life. If you decide yes, then the panic is just nervousness but using logic and your heart, you should be able to make an informed decision. Good luck!
2006-12-27 08:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're unsure and it's okay to be. You're just freaking and it can happen to anyone. Maybe if you went away on a short vacation with a girl friend or by yourself, you can clear your head. Try making a list of pros and cons. I've noticed that it helps. If you do not know if he's "the one" then you need to reevaluate what you've been doing. Maybe you guys are moving too fast. You can tell him to slow things down, but then again, you're the only one that knows whay you truly want so go with whatever you think is right. Best of luck!
2006-12-27 08:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by cookie<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the only person who can answer whether he's the one for you.
If you are panicking, this is a big red flag to say you're not ready for this type of committment. How about you discuss pushing the engagement date out a little farther?
Think Carrie in Sex & the City when Aiden asked her to marry him. She said yes but then realized she wasn't ready. Broke out all in hives too.
How about trying on a wedding dress and see if you feel like you're being suffocated?? If you feel like you can't breathe, then you're not ready.
2006-12-27 08:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by Miz D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop. take a deep breath. now let it out. if this is moving too fast for you, tell him! marriage is a huge commitment, and if you're not sure, then don't do it. and even moving in and getting engaged is pretty big. if you're not ready for it, tell him. if he's really "the one" then he'll understand. rushing into it will only make things harder and make you more likely not to make it, even if you were "meant to be together". for now, live seperately, stay dating, rather than engaged. and make sure you have an understanding that YOU will be the one to bring it up when you're ready to move in and that you'll initiate a conversation when you're ready for a bigger commitment. good luck!
2006-12-27 11:04:13 · answer #6 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're freaking out because marriage can be a big step! I know most people plan on staying married forever and lets face it not many couples do anymore! So there's nothing wrong with freaking out because it is a HUGE step! Just listen to your heart and it will lead you where you belong.....sometimes a pros and cons list can help you think it all out! It might be worth thinking about living together before you set the date....loving someone is than living with them!Good luck!
2006-12-27 09:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by ladyofpeace74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you've been dating him for awhile you know his characteristics and his personality. If you will say yes to the engagement then you obviously feel right about him. So calm down and stop stressing ok. IF things dont work out then there is always someone there to mend the broken pieces. Good Luck!!
2006-12-27 08:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by smores 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first pass on your close by food market early morning or late nighttime and ask for packing containers (they frequently throw them away). Or in case you have a Michael's Crafts shop in addition they have vast packing containers they throw away. Then get online to look for places. Many web pages ask especially what you're finding for and narrow it down. So on your case, they'll in basic terms coach you places that take pets. in case you do no longer hit upon a place in 30 days, then you definately in simple terms ought to speak with your landlord and ask for greater time. it incredibly is greater effectual for the owner to grant you overtime then to commence the costly eviction technique. yet you will pay for any greater beneficial days you reside so the owner does not supply you a foul credit. in simple terms take one step at a time and take it daily. Ask friends or kin for help so which you do no longer experience on my own. good success
2016-10-06 02:14:58 · answer #9 · answered by esannason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 23, ease off the throttle.
Try moving in together and see how that goes. You dont buy a car without a test drive.
2006-12-27 08:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by Greg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋