What should I do?

Question

I highly suspect my girlfriend of cheating judged from messages on the computer back and forth from her ex-boyfriend. She cares about me a lot, as ironic as it sounds, and she does not know I have seen the messages. I do not know what to do as I love her to death but its eating me up inside not knowing whether in fact she has slept with somebody else. Please give thoughtful advice only.

This has been haunting me for many, many weeks and its breaking me down. I confronted her about it once and she denied it all the way, but the messages I see continue.

Answer 1

Talk to your girlfriend about these feelings. Also I'd bring up the emails you read. Why is she communicating with an ex? How would she feel if the table was turned. I bet she wouldn't like it.

Answer 2

The fact that she receives messages from her ex does not necessarily mean that she is cheating on you. What do the messages say? Does she reply in a friendly manner that suggest that she corresponds his advances? You must analyze her responses and her willingness to keep in touch with her ex. A girl has a right to her privacy, but you have a right to know if she is engaged in "questionable activities." I would prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If you think that there is enough evidence to suspect a cheat, then I would talk to her about it. After all, when chics keep in touch with the ex's, they are considering taking them back. If it were you in her shoes, you can be sure that she would demand a satisfactory answer which will surely have to be one of complete commitment to her and cutting off the ex. It works both ways, bro.
Do things right and do not live a fantasy.
Mr. M on "what should I do."

Answer 3

That's a tough one. You can sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart talk about it. Confront her and admit you saw the emails and ask her what they mean (be prepared to get yelled at for checking her email though). You can also hire a private investigator if you feel she's cheating and not being honest with you about it. I don't know that I personally agree with the private investigator thing but at least you might find out for sure if she's cheating or not.

I've been in your situation and I know the frustration of not knowing for sure if your significant other is cheating. It's a horrible feeling and you think about it all the time. My ex never confessed but I'm pretty sure he was. If I could have gotten a definative answer I think it would have saved my sanity at the time. You doubt yourself and wonder if you're just being insecure, it's definately not a fun time. I hope the best for you.

Answer 4

Hi Michael B,
I highly recommend that you confront her. You have the right to know what is going on. Trust is the most important thing. I know that you love her, but I know that it does not feel good to have someone you love continue to speak or communicate with her ex. that is not ok. and if i were you, i would also suspect something more is going on there. most of the time, that is the case. but i do not want to get in between u and your girl. you both need to work on this together. talk to her openly. and see what she says and ask to to be completely honest and not to keep anything from you.

honesly, seems as if the ex is bad news. i would not remain in a relationship where my guy was still talking to his ex even if it was something friendly. that is not ok. not at all.

leave her. maybe that is the advice u need to get. leave her. move on. she still wants her ex. she just wants you too. she is having him on the side.

do the right thing.

Answer 5

My advice, being in this situation myself, just ask. She's going to get mad because she's a girl, she's going to yell, and ask why you were snooping around, why were you reading her stuff, etc. I'm a girl, I know. But you have to ask.......if you don't then you will never know the truth, it will haunt you. Also, as hurtful as it may be, if she is cheating on you, you don't want to stay with her. Even if you think you have worked things out and everything will be OK, you will never be able to trust her again no matter what, it will always be in the back of your mind. I cared about someone for 6 years and stayed with him while he cheated on me. I was stupid because that was 6 years I could of had with someone who cared about me. Just ask.........it's the only true way you will ever know.

Answer 6

Whatever you do, don't log in as her on her messenger, or pretend to be her and message the guy or anything completely stupid like that.

If you do that, you just look crazy, and then if there isn't anything going on and she finds out about it? then she won't be able to trust YOU.

You should talk to her. If it's really bothering you, and you see other signs that she's maybe cheating, or she doesn't seem as interested (you can tell when something feels off), then you should definitely speak up.

You need to be with someone who is with you and who WANTS to be with you. You don't want someone that doesn't want you, right? That's insane.

But be rational, and don't start blaming her right away. Tell her what you saw (without sounding like you were snooping) and just TALK TO HER. Be honest and open, and be prepared to not like what you hear.


Good luck. I know this must suck.

Answer 7

Well if you suspect it its probally because she is, Shes not going to come out and tell you obviously and now you know. But just so you dont jump the gun make sure by confronting her with your issue and telling her how you feel and why, (Try not to argue) and let the truth set you free, Just because you love someone to death doesnt mean you need to be with them or they are right for you, My grandmother told me when I loved someone to death and he cheated on me to "let HIM/HER go if he/she really loves you theyll come back. took him 7 years, but the fool came back and you know what i had moved on by then. Let it go Im sure there's someone out there that will love you to death too and can love you the way you deserve to be loved back.

Answer 8

instead of being suspicious of it you may wish to confront her about what you have seen. there may be more to it than you are aware of.
Give her the benefit of the doubt be direct enough to ask her.
She is the only one that can actually tell you truthfully. If you don't believe her answer after that you may wish to follow her.
I hope that she is honest with you though
Asking is better than not knowing.
Knowing can be painful sometimes.
I hope it all works out well for you

Answer 9

Happiness and communication is the key. If she is cheating then there is an area in yall's relationship that she is probably unhappy about and if you really love her and want to save yall's relationship then you have to communicate with her to see what she is happy with and what she is unhappy with and try to improve the area that needs improving. If you and your mate start communicating and you find out that it is not meant for yall to be together then you will just have to let go. I hope everything works out.

Answer 10

if the messages sound like they have met up, then i would wonder. but if you both have a great relationship, then i wouldn't worry about it. sometimes when people break up, they still remain good friends because that person and them were already so open with each other so its easy to talk to. if you have her password and she knows it, then she knows you will see them.