I never know how to react to that, except to say something like "Oh, no your not." Alot of times women will say to me "I wish I was thin like you." What is the polite way to answer statements like that?
2006-12-27 07:53:47 · 35 answers · asked by rolfesangel 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I hate when people do this. Really, they are fishing and want your sympathy.
2006-12-27 07:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by mutterhalls 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
When someone says "I'm so fat" he/she is looking for someone to say they are O.K. - or like you said "No, you are not fat." Many are looking for reassurance that they are indeed o.k.
As of the other comment "I wish I was think like you," a kind/compassionate response would be "You are fine just the way you are." If you want to be snippy, you can come up with all kinds of mean things to say. This person (making the thin comments) is also looking for reassurance.
If you know these people (the ones making the comments), and you feel comfortable going beyond these simple replies, you can say, "I can give you some suggestions about following a healthy lifestyle." You are not implying that the person is fat or otherwise, you are offering ideas on how to look and feel better.
2006-12-27 08:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by Malika 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just say "Thanks, I spend a ton of time in the gym for this figure!"
Or when they are actually fat, just say something like, "Oh, stop it... we should just be happy with who we are!"
I am overweight and always make a conscious effort to NOT put a thin person in the position of telling me I'm not fat. It is ridiculous to expect someone to tell a fat person that they aren't fat. I do acknowledge someone else's great physique but I sure as hell don't wonder why I don't have that body... I KNOW I eat too many QP's w/C (quarter pounders with cheese) and too much candy for that... new years resolution, here I come!
People who do that are just looking for an ego boost and I generally refuse to give it to them. When I'm talking with people who are skinnier than I am and they say things like "i'm so fat" blah blah, I just sort of nod and change the subject. I'm not going to get into telling someone how skinny they are or how I envy their body. I think that is totally lame.
2006-12-27 08:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they may just be saying that before anyone else says it. Self deprecating statements normally stop other people from straight up being a punk and saying something mean. I'm not obese but I know that for my height I am overweight so I make jokes about my weight not to make other feel uncomfortable but to let them feel more comfortable around me and if gets a chuckle, then call me a whore for a laugh. I'm okay with it. If they tell you they wish they were thin like you tell them they wouldn't say that if they were caught in a class 5 hurricane. Don't give them pity, but feel free to joke about your own insecurities out loud. I find it takes a load off for me, and I don't sweat it much.
2006-12-27 10:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by donbenecio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In both cases, the less said the better.
In response to the latter statement, you could just say something like "Oh, that's so nice of you to say, thank you." That way you're not refuting or agreeing with your statement, you're just telling them that that was a nice thing to say, end of story.
For the former, there are so many different reasons why someone might say they are fat. Unless you feel like guessing which one it is, you could go with "You're just having a bad day" or "Don't be silly."
Those are a little lame, but it's hard to come up with a good answer because that is such an annoying thing to say.
2006-12-27 08:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If it's a friend we usually talk about ways to help her and achieve her goal weight and make her healthy - I feel really sorry for people with weight problems, it's horrible to have no confidence. Also, I say that most of my male friends would prefer her curves than my bones any day (most do)! I've even had friends come to live with me for a while because they want my support and I have no junk food at home! There are times when girls are just being mean so I just smile and change the subject or ignore them!
2006-12-27 11:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by Prawnsize 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no proper thing, whatever you say will not make it better they are indulging their need to feel like an underdog. How you handle depends on how well you know the person.
I usually just use humour to change the subject.
2006-12-27 08:06:30 · answer #7 · answered by the seacrt hobo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I usually answer with a cheerfully dismissive "Oh PLEASE!" a sassy eye roll and a blatant change of the conversation. If that doesn't work, and they continue on their path of conversation, I like to follow up with "Well I don't think so, but you do, so what do you propose to do about it?". I get that some people have body image issues...believe me...I was one of them..and still am sometimes...but I'm not going to spend my day stroking your ego. If you think you're fat than do something about it...if not than shut it and lets move on with our day shall we?
2006-12-27 08:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why? you just fine the way you are. I think its just an unconscious way of asking for validation. On your part what could be the harm in making them feel better for a moment!
2006-12-27 07:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear that all the time. I simply say thank you. There is no reaction you can give those people. I used to say I used to weigh this or that, but now I just say thank you. It's too much to have to go through that every single time. Besides, I am enjoying this while I can. Thank you and good luck to you.
2006-12-27 07:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by cookie 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
use reflective listening
denying what they said invalidates their feelings try
these responses, then just listen and reflect more...
"sounds like you're upset about your weight"
or
"sounds like you wish you were thinner"
or
"seems like you're not happy with your body"
or
"you feel like you are overweight?"
notice,,,you are not putting your feelings or opinions in,
just reflecting the underlying feelings in their original statement.
then listen to what they say and do it again..
for example if they say...
"yeah, i try to diet but i can't lose a thing...and it makes me mad when people like you can be thin without trying"
then you say...
"you're discouraged you haven't been able to lose anything by dieting"
or
"you feel angry because it's so difficult for you to lose weight"
or
"when you see thin people, it makes you feel jealous"
the key is to feed them back their own feelings without any judgment from you.
then just listen. you're helping them talk through the problem.
this is called reflective listening, it helps others solve their problems themselves....no matter what the other person says, keep reflecting the true feelings underneath without any input from you.
it works amazingly well.
good luck.
2006-12-27 08:05:52 · answer #11 · answered by Sufi 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋