I have this friend who currently has a girlfriend. Me and him use to talk about being couple, but we got into an argument and stopped talking for a while. We were both dating other people once we started talking and became friends again. We both wanted to fool around and we did. Later he felt guilty about what happened but he didn't want to lose me and I said that we could just be friends if it would make things easier for him. I'm tired of being his friend. What do you think I should do?
2006-12-27 07:51:45 · 17 answers · asked by Chica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have had a female friend, (best) for over 15 years. Her name is Pam. In the early stage of our friendship, it was friends with benefits. after about 3 years, I started to date another lady, (that eventually became my wife) and when it became serious, Pam had the same feeling that you are having. She came to me and honestly told me how she felt. I respected that, and because of it, we have remained best friends for many years. Unfortunately, I didn't have the same feelings for her. I was deeply in love with the lady that became my wife! Other than my wife, I value no other as much as I do Pam! Her opinion of me and what I do is very important to my self value. If she had not told me of her feelings, there would have been some very tense moments over the last 15 years or so, if there had been 15 years at all! If you value your friendship with this man, be honest with him. You may get lucky and he may feel the same about you! If by chance he doesn't, and you can settle for friendship, it can be a very valuable relationship! Hope this helps.
2006-12-27 08:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lonnie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. A relationship requires two people. You can't force it. If he's not on-board it's never going to work. That's not to say that he won't change his mind later on down the road. However, you shouldn't sit around with your life on hold waiting for that to happen. You should talk with him and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you can't back-track now that you guys have both showed interest in each other as more than friends. If he doesn't return the same feelings it's obvious the relationship is over. Let it go.
2006-12-27 07:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are pretty easy to have if you are willing to communicate clearly with them.
if you sit down and have the conversation that lays the cards out on the table, the two of you can determine weather it is just a sex thing or an actual heart thing.
if it is just sex...the man will be satisfied after a few months, weeks, hours with you.
if it truly is a heart thing. you can discuss the options of how you will eliminate any obstacles to your togetherness.
I am sure that you wouldn't want to be in a lopsided relationship just because 'you are tired of being his friend' or 'you want him for yourself' ...if he didn't also want you.
conversation is the key to resolving this dilema.
2006-12-27 08:00:07 · answer #3 · answered by therapy4love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something before it is too late. If he is still interested in you then maybe something will happen, but if he really cares about the person he is with and that is obvious, just let it be and if you can't be friends then so be it. Just don't be surprised if you do get him then catch him with another "friend"
2006-12-27 08:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by NJM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about not being a HOMEWRECKER and backing off. Just cause you're single and ready to mingle. He's in a relationship. Go out and have fun. You and he already ahve a shaky past together. Go meet someone new and have fun and be everything to them. If he leave's the girl for you then your going to be like "Where are you going" "Where were you @" "Why is she calling you" FORGET IT! Go get yourself someone new and start off with a clean slate. '-)
2006-12-27 07:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then don't be his friend. If he wanted to be with you as a couple don't you think he would break up with his current girl?
Having sex ALWAYS complicates things.
If you can't take it that he is with someone else, then just stop being his friend as well. Cause if you do, yall will have sex again. (More than once)
2006-12-27 07:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is eating his cake and having it. He is making a convenience of you switching between friends/lovers. Why are you concerned with making things easier for him? Don't contact him again, move on and be free to meet someone decent and single.
2006-12-27 07:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should leave him alone until you are both single. if your break him and his current girlfriend up, you run the risk of not only not having him as a boyfriend, but possibly losing him as a friend also.
2006-12-27 07:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
back away for your sake. Do not become the other women, because if he sees you both and the chances are you will be the one getting hurt. If he wants you than you backing away will bring him to YOU. Men want what they can't have, my opinion.
2006-12-27 07:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by newwingsfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. There's other fish in the pond that are just as nice.
2006-12-27 07:58:17 · answer #10 · answered by nokhada5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋