my partner and I have been practising celibacy but I find myself starring at him in the most ravenous way. I am trying my best not to physically touch him and have tried to go to bed when he is fast asleep.
How can I banish impure thoughts? I'd be interested in hearing from others with a religious committment and in a dating relationship.
I have asked him to sleep in the spare room but he says that this is unnecessary and insists that we can still be physically close and not get up to anything.
2006-12-27 07:35:25 · 30 answers · asked by Kitty 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
More info - no I am not married to my boyfriend. I have found peace in the religion of Ecism and my boyfriend will be following this path as well.
I will not be getting married at this moment - I have many things to do before settling down with him.
We do not live together, although my boyfriend spends weekends at my place.
2006-12-27 07:45:31 · update #1
More info as requested:
My bf and I used to have lots of sex before we found the path of peace (Ecism). I have made a committment to the religion. My bf has agreed to a celibate relationship 2 wks ago but I have already found him masturbating. I confronted him and he has apologised profusely and agreed not to do it again.
2006-12-27 07:52:15 · update #2
Well, to stay pure you need boundaries. Get the boundaries book by Tounsend from the library . We men love women , and we are sexual , so I wouldn't let him stay overnight . What is his true motive in being with you ?
2006-12-27 07:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sad at the many ignorant insensitive responses that you have received so far. Obviously you are not ready to be intimate with this gentleman and in no way should you just "give in" to temptation and "test the plumbing". When you "give in" you will drag yourself into more trouble and have more impure thoughts than what you started out with such as guilt and maybe even depression. You need to ask yourself if you are ready for such a big commitment. Sexual intercourse is accompanied with alot of emotions afterwards. You need to be stable mentally. I think it is great that you are practicing celibacy especially in this world today filled with cheaters, adulterers, and diseases. You are very wise and special yet strong to endure so much enticement. I would actually sit down with your bf and discuss with him these thoughts that you are having. Discuss with him that you are becoming more and more tempted to have sexual relations with him yet you want to remain celibate. Between you and him, the both of you will be able to come up with ideas that can be used to reduce the temptation. I am sorry that you are not receiving legitimate information here instead sarcasm and insults but answers is not the place to get sensitive advice regarding morals and abstinence especially not in R&S if you are a Christian. Your body is so special and you should not have to give in to tempation if you do not want to. Others may feel as though they are cheap and not worth saving, but that is their problem and preference. Life is all about choices. If you have any friends at home, talk with them instead or maybe a pastor. But I would suggest you talking with your partner about this. Between the both of you, you can work some things out, change certain patterns, and overall help limit the amount of temptation to have sex.
2006-12-27 16:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by ♣DreamDancer♣ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your commitment to religion is why I'm against religion. Spirituality and religion aren't the same. Human beings are part of the animal kingdom, therefore have intincts such as the need to copulate. Also, there is a whole other belief system that says sex can actually enlighten us. And, masturbation??? That's natural. Religion is the invention of other humans attempting to dictate the lives of others. God is within us all, you have a direct connection--you don't need a religious leader to translate things for you. Your thoughts aren't impure, your thoughts are natural. Trust yourself--you and God are one. That is what you need to remember most.
2006-12-27 16:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by sundeevah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you living in the real world or not, without sex we wouldn't have made it past the garden of eden, ok adam and eve may have been cast out, but they were left with their so called impure thoughts and acted naturally, having children and populating the world. Sex is a natural behaviour of all mammals, just allow natural feelings(which by the way god gave you) to show you the way, if sex is the way, remember to use a condom! enjoy the experience.
2006-12-27 16:11:26 · answer #4 · answered by janet h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible helps us (Psalm 91:1-19) but the best "protection" from acting on our impure thoughts, is to be sure we are never in a position to act oin them! If you're never alone together, you'll be less likely to. Since you live together, this is humanly impossible! But if you are sincere, and you are both on the same page in this decision, find separate quarters until such time as you marry.
God bless you both.
2006-12-27 15:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Karen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, sweetheart, it doesn't sound like your religious choice has brought you any peace if you get into such a state... What slavery! You will loose your boyfriend if you treat him like this, it is not love and it is not peaceful. Poor you and poor him, stop torturing yourself and find a religion that will allow you to LIVE!
2006-12-27 16:18:40 · answer #6 · answered by Nini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if your not married why are you living together.
if you have been having these kinds of thoughts and you have asked him to sleep in the spare room and he refuses then why don't you make the move yourself.
talk to him and tell him how your feeling. this is not right in God's eyes if you are trying to stay pure and you are having thoughts like you are.
you need to separate until you both figure it out.
good luck
2006-12-27 15:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by momof2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to have pure thoughts??? You obviously are not a christian, so you may as well go for the gusto while you are still alive and try not to think about the coming judgment and where you will spend eternity.
2006-12-27 15:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by † PRAY † 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't keep thoughts pure by trying to push evil thoughts away, but by putting better ones in
(Read Psalm 119:1) and PHILIPPIANS 4:8
2006-12-27 15:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep prayer.
To fear the L-rd is to hate evil. Start by not calling yourself sexy kitten. Don't expose yourself to the worldy TV commercials and programs....remember this junk has only been arounnd 50 years or so and is is NOT G-dly it is from the world.
Bless you sister
David
2006-12-27 15:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by David T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋