A person in my life claims that they "love" me but when I need them, they are never around. They never call or visit and will only infrequently respond to emails, always closing with "I love you".
To me, these are empty words. Love is SHOWING someone you care, not just telling them. And this person says it I think to make themselves feel better, as though saying you love someone is the right thing to do and enough.
What do you say to a person like this? Is there any poem or story that better illustrates how meaningless the words are without action?
2006-12-27 07:03:30 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell them actions speak louder than words...shes gotta prove her feelings for you..I dont think you should waste a minute longer on this loser..trade her in...shes probably cheating on you.
2006-12-27 07:07:07 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think that there is anything you can say. Actions do speak louder than words and if you are not "feeling the love" then it probably isn't there.
Some people say, "I love you," out of habit I think. They may feel like they have to say it or maybe they say it in hopes that you will tell them that you love them back. Maybe they are just insecure and need reassuring.
Frankly, whenever I get told "I love you," by a chronic "I love you teller," I just say, "I'll think about it." To which they are perplexed and then I say, "I'm going to think about how you love me." They can take it however they want, after all, I could be thinking of the love they do show me or the lack there of and it is up to them to decide which.
I have also made it known that if someone is telling me, "I love you" just to hear me say "I love you" back to them, then they should just forget it. I only say those words when I feel like it. It may seem mean, but gee life isn't a script and if you say those words just say them freely without expecting a certain response!!!
Personally, I don't deal with too many people like this, I just let them cut themselves out of my life. I've learned that if people don't make an effort towards being "real" when I am being "real" with them, then they aren't the type of people I want to be around .
You might consider just not e-mailing or calling this person as an experiment. If they don't make an effort to stay in contact with you, then they are not worth the grief they are causing you.
2006-12-27 08:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by BookLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say exactly what you just said:
You claim that you "love" me but when I need you, you are never around. You never call or visit. Your infrequent responses to emails close with "I love you".
To me, these are empty words. Love is SHOWING me you care, not just telling me. I think you say it to make youself feel good, as though saying you love me is the right thing to do and that's enough.
2006-12-27 07:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by SocialWorks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, have you told this person your opinion on saying the words 'I love you' and what it means to you?
It seems that you hold those words to a high caliber and this person is just not reaching that level.
Perhaps a little note saying, I appreciate the fact that you're trying to let me know you love me, but it doesn't mean anything if you don't show me either. Love is action, as well as the words.
I hope this helps.
2006-12-27 07:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by pounding_silence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you write an email close with "I HATE YOU". If he or she ask you why, simply tell h/her you might as well join the club of "saying things you don't really mean" since he (she) always says I love you but dont mean it.
If he/she shruggs this off or doesn't seem to notice or care - Dont waste your time., That person is not worth it; from now on, treat him/her like an acquaintance - hellos + goodbyes only.
2006-12-27 07:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Sammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont say anything to a person like that. I just wouldnt bother contacting them. Quit emailing them then you wont expect anything back.
If people are not interested in me or my life then I dont consider them part of my life. Maybe you just need to let this person go. I dont mean burn bridges I just mean dont bother contacting them, then you wontbe disappointed. And if they do contact you thats nice but then it would be an unexpected surprise and you wont be dealing with all the disappointment.
2006-12-27 07:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask this person what they thought love meant.
I would listen to what they said and then i would respond accordingly..........
Maybe they don't know what love means.
Love between a friend or love between a partner are different but in a sort of way the same..... .To me listening is a form of love, When some one can give up their time to listen to you to hear what makes you happy or sad or confused. That is a form of love.
Some times we think that our time is not valued when we give it to someone we care about.
2006-12-27 07:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your actions will speak louder than any words you could send to them. Stop calling, emailing, contacting this person. Just go on with your life.
2006-12-27 07:07:38 · answer #8 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure of any poems, but cut your tie with that person. Obviously you're not benefiting from the relationship you have with this person, so what's the point of continuing it? Love 'em back at a distance and quit spending so much time worrying about it.
2006-12-27 07:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't say it back. Verbal doesn't mean much anymore. A person should prove their love with actions and emotions, not just words.
2006-12-27 07:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by Meeeeeeee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋