i have a bf. he keeps asking me to go on a date and the truth is, i would like to but my parents wont let me. i am 15, and he is 15 too. the reson my parents wont let me go is (1) they say im too young and (2) they dont like hi b/c he is black and i am white. they are not racist thye just like me to date white boys. they dont even give him a chance...how can i get them to let me go out somewhere with him?
2006-12-27 07:00:10 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont Lie to your parents.....That will only get you im more trouble you and your boyfriend need to sit down and talk to your parents and tell them how you feel you have to understand your very young still and your parents can tell you what to do still you live under there roof and eat there food your wearing there clothes the deserve a little better than a lie and believe me ling to them will cause more trouble down the line when you get caught and you will
2006-12-27 07:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Lab Runner 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Short answer:
Show him lots of public affection and see him without your parents' permission, yet don't do anything major your parents wouldn't approve of besides that (IE you can kiss, that's minor, but don't have sex).
Detailed Answer IE why this advice is good:
About your parent's excuse: being too young is NOT a reason, being too immature is. Breaking out and dating without making the mistakes they think you will should send them a message you ARE mature enough. And if they say "We said no and you broke the rule" say something like
"I know you made the rule to keep me from making mistakes people make when they date...and I did not and will not make those mistakes. If I let you judge me by what you think will happen, and not my actions, how would I learn from my actions? It's like a grade in school, and if I earn an A handling the responsibility I don't feel guilty asking for credit for that A, I took the responsibility maturely."
As far as the option of NOT dating the guy at all, it sounds bad. Think about it, if you do not date the guy he'll probably assume you don't want to or are waiting for someone better...SO you need to show public affection to make sure he knows your parents are the problem NOT you.
2006-12-27 15:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by M S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, your parents are racist. If they weren't the color of skin would not matter and they would not insist you date a white boy. Second of all, parents judge your ability to date by your level of maturity. If you are a responsible individual, ask them to chaperone a few dates to start off, show them they can trust you and then ween them off of smothering you. Make it a point to tell them that they raised a smart young girl who knows the difference between right and wrong as well as good from bad. Tell them they need to start letting you grow up. I know 15 is a hard age, but they, as parents, are just trying to protect you from everything cruel in the world. My daughter is 20 now and she was allowed to start dating at 15. Her first three dates were chaperoned and then I started to let my guard down. Now that she's in college, I realized it was my own fear of letting go that made me an over-bearing mom. Tell your parents you don't want that.
2006-12-27 15:06:28 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Suggest to your bf a group date, that way you can say you're just going out with some friends. Or invite your parents along, if they want to be close don't complain this is just a way to break them in to you growing up.
Be patient you're still young..just explain to them that you're ready to try dating and you don't care what color they are.
2006-12-27 15:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by GrayMatters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea i kno wat its like, for th parents not to want you, cuz of u color...... but hey you still should listen to them. You dont want to disrespect your parents, but at the same time, that racial part can be a problem in the future, and you need to set it straight with them that you are open to more than one race. I had a cousin whom is black, and dated a white girl, and his parents fliped, but eventually they learned to like her, and they werre not racist neither. And the age thing, you are a lil young, but perhaps a little trip to the movies would be alright. I say you need to start somewhere small, and work your way up, but dont disobey.
2006-12-27 15:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Allen C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because I think they could looking at this perspective that genrally intermixing is looked down on. There should'nt be anything wrong with a persons color but society could make it tough for you.
If you two stay together his family may feel the same as yours.
My mother married a black man and she was white. It created problems within my family. But if you truley love each other who really cares and thats all that matters.
Your parents may be afraid that he only wants one thing from you ,if that is so that can be very damaging to you and your esteem.
2006-12-27 15:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by kayah29 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to gain their trust and show them that they can trust you. Talk to them maturely about the situation and see if you can reach a compromise with them. Possibly they might agree to an afternoon date at the mall and a movie if they drop you off and pick you up. If you are willing to start like that, they may be willing to consider it. You need to think of options that would be acceptable to your parents. They are trying to protect you.
2006-12-27 15:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey im in the same situation and im 15 too!!! but my parents said that i cant date untilim in college!!! and me and my boyfriend r both mexican but anyways i say that u should go somewhere woth a group of friends and then it will just seem like a big hangout rather than a date!@!!! good luck!!! i hope for the best!!!
2006-12-27 15:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by funnyfun92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just wait until you are at least 16, your parents just need to know you are mature enough to handle yourself on a date.
you have to do more than tell them, you have to show them how mature you are by trying not to argue with them, going to school on time everyday, have your boyfriend over so he can show them that he is mature and responsible also, then they might trust you to go on a date.
your parents are just trying to keep you safe, it is their job as parents. anything they do is simply to protect you from all of the horrible things that can happen, you'l have your chance to explore, just give it time, it will go by much faster than you think.
2006-12-27 15:08:19 · answer #9 · answered by Fluffington Cuddlebutts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone is saying, you shouldn't lie to your parents.
Will they drop you at the movies? He could meet you there. Would they take you to the local library? He could come there too. How about going to the mall with one of your girlfriends and him showing up there too.
There is a million ways to have a "date" without really having a "date".
2006-12-27 15:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by ScubaGuy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋