I'm not the prettiest thing on two legs. I'm registered disabled, have little hair, and have not got the body I ordered from Gods catalogue. I use a walking stick, and wear glasses. I have tattoos from many years ago. Is it any wonder then, why I am still on my own? It wouldn't be so bad, but I'm only still in my mid 30's. Why do women judge what they see all the time? It's not as if I'm a monster? Any ideas? I feel more depressed than a hedgehog on the M25.
2006-12-27 06:55:31 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
♥ That is really mean and rude that people judge you on their first impressions. I get that a lot too but not like you do. I think women judge what they see all the time because we're competive and somehow it makes them happy. Don't worry you will find a girl. Just hang in there. As long as you are nice like you are and have a wonderful personality you will. Hope you find the right girl for you
2006-12-27 06:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I used to work with someone who was physically disabled and people did a 'double take' when they saw her. I really admired her as she used to go to aerobic classes and travel extensively. She said that it was a natural 'knee jerk' reaction in the same way that if we saw a person with severe burns or in a chair we may feel arkward. As we have evolved and our 'higher brains' have developed, we have learned to overcome this initial first reaction. Our sight is one of the first senses we use. Some people are just more 'basic' than others and cannot cope with 'different' or 'alternative'. Anyone who has a 'higher emotional intelligence' will quickly dispel any first appearance and move on very quickly by not 'judging' you by your disability.
You see people who walk with sticks and you see people who are bald. How many men do you see that have a great body? You are what you are and you can always improve on yourself and work on self confidence. You can wear smart clothes, a great one hundred million dollar smile on your face and have a friendly and warm disposition.
Don't let anything hold you back. Get out there and enjoy..... there are lots of really great genuine people out there. Make it your New Years Resolution to get out there and live your life. You are worth it!
2006-12-27 08:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably best to accept that this is going to happen David, but that doesn't mean it is the end of the world.
Relationships between the bronzed adonis and the blonde blow up doll type are of no greater value than any other relationship.
Women do not like men who are not confident. So be confident. Whatever you feel...BE confident!
Do not be impatient...no matter how much you panic....do not be impatient.
Relationships are about everything...every emotion. They are not about being cool, or sauve, or sophisticated or slippery.
They are about being open and nervous and caring and worried and confused and helpful and brave and kind and understanding.
My guess is...you are a lot of things in the second list, and on a good day maybe a couple of things on the first list too!
The second list is more important and I think you must be a pretty cool guy to have written this question in the first place!
Think about it! Good luck mate!
It makes me utterly sick that people give you thumbs down when you are trying to help people on this crummy site. That's it!!! I've had enough!!!!!
2006-12-27 07:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, no offense my friend, but it's instinct, not conscious decision. One of the base traits of subconscious attraction is health. The healthier the mate the healthier the offspring and thus better chance of survival. Secondly the female of the species looks for a protector and provider. Again, this is not a conscious decision made by a woman, it's completely drawn from instinct. This is why we cannot choose who we're attracted to. Unfortunately your chances of stopping a wild animal from eating your children are slim if you are disabled.
Do not fret, I think you have a chance. I knew a guy once who was in a wheelchair yet he got tons of women. The reason he got so many women was because he had confidence and self-esteem. He didn't care about his disability, in his mind he was a normal person just like everyone else. He told me that as soon as the disability went away in his mind people started treating him like a normal person. And lastly, women find tattoo's sexy.
I wish you the best of luck my friend.
2006-12-27 07:06:45 · answer #4 · answered by albion53151 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
there's nothing wrong with a registered disabled person. someone close to me is.in fact a lot of people are. how do you carry your self? do you were nice cloths, nice shoes , no dry skin, for get the hair, shave it off. most men shave there hair now days.a little hair on top looks stupid.do you have a must-age? if you do go to the barber shop in get it trim. make sure your nails are clean and feet and your house. and your car. things like this can make a person look good on the outside, there's your first impression. . so if that is your problem you need to fix that by doing some changes. and maybe you won't feel depress. and you need to get out more. go to night clubs. i seen a lot of men in clubs that walk with canes. it's how they carry them self's and there loOKs. do some changes and you will be ok
2006-12-27 07:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry you are experiencing that, but most women are shallow. They see a hot guy and fall in love automatically without even knowing his personality. I do know that we were all made for someone else and your "dream woman" is out there. You seem to have a very good sense of humor and should start from there. Make friends with the females you meet and allow them to get to know you. Just be yourself and have a good time. You will meet that woman, you just have to be patient. By the way, my husband was 34 and a virgin when we met. He thinks I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. All I know is that he's the best thing that ever happened to me. He's not hot and is way out of shape, but he treats me like gold and I cherish him for that. Thank you and good luck.
2006-12-27 07:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When dating and trying to find a partner, you are basically trying to convince women that they cannot do any better than you, and therefore should stay with you. You sound pretty rough my man, you have to have something to offer. Determine what it is that you can give another person and develop it more. Also, unless you have a lot of cash on hand, don't count on getting a hot skinny blond. Make sure the chicks you are going after are in your weight class. I'm curious, would you be attracted to a woman in your situation? You can only spend what you got, so get more!
2006-12-27 07:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I suspect these women you are talking about are all down your local. If these women are judging you on first sight they are probably not worth knowing. Try to widen your social circle a little bit, join some clubs that might interest you, do some voluntary work ( there are loads of places needing volunteers for loads of different things) I know that all sound boring but if you find the right thing you will enjoy yourself and perhaps find a lady who is not so shallow as to judge you on your appearance alone.
2006-12-27 07:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
People judge others based upon first impressions because they have no other information on which they can form an opinion. The GOOD people will take the time to gather more information and get to know you as an individual. Just be patient, someday you will find a lady who wants to get to know the real you.
2006-12-27 07:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are not the only person in the world who is judged on first impressions. Some people are just hateful, and are not very happy with their own lives so they have to treat others like crap to make themselves feel better. Just ignore those people, they just feel a need to be that way in order to fill a huge void in their own lives.
2006-12-27 07:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by melody g 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋