My mother hates me because i said something to hurt her quite a while ago we talked about it but she told my sister she will never forgive me. my sister also hates me because she said i was not there for her. She got pregnant young and felt that i should have helped her more(I did the best i could) She always makes remarks about me telling me i am cursed, i will not succeed in life and she even tries to hurt me at times. I have made peace with myself but i get the feeling certain family members including my grand mother who said (I will fail in life) Has it out for me. They said I am harsh in words but i speak my mind and the truth. Lately I am being affected by all this and they claim apologizing won't solve anything. What on earth do they want from me blood. I have reached a point I dont know what to do anymore.
2006-12-27 06:48:51 · 7 answers · asked by Ans 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well, sounds like a major miscommunication somewhere and a lot on unforgiving and closed minded souls. Try not to let them rule your life. Blow off the bad stuff and leave them alone until you can live your own life. If your family comes around later and warms up to you later then great. Either way live your life, go to college get a great job and move away.
2006-12-27 07:07:46 · answer #1 · answered by spitfin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good sit down talk is what is required at this point. They might feel, What is the point of an apology maybe if they feel you will do it again. Has something like this happened before.
You could do nothing about your sister being pregnant she is the one that was and baby doesn't go way once pregnant
Your mom might she be jealous of your youth. I don't know what was so bad that you said however you might like to calm the manner in which you say something . Being honest is good however with respect as well.
Passing blame on anyone doesn't always work well with them.
If they have a hard time accepting something they have done its their issue not yours.
One thing is that its not nice to state that you will fail in life which means you will have to try even harder to get ahead and prove them all wrong.
Good luck you have a hard life.
2006-12-27 15:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a sad mess! Boy, must of used some pretty mean words to make mom dislike you so much. As for your sister, she made her own bed and it isnt right for her to blame you for not being there. That's her baby's daddy responsibilty not yours. So free your conscience of her accusations. As for your mom, give her some space. In time she will forgive you. But dont expect things to be the quite same before this happened because sometimes crude words leaves a damaging affect on people relationship. But reconcilliation is possible, so just pray about it (if you are a beleiver) and stay away from her for awhile. In the meantime, think TWICE before you speak as you can see words can hurt skin deep. I'm a striaght forward speaking person also, but I try not to use ugly words when I am arguing and I especially refuse to use profanity towards my parents. That;s not right because we should always honor them-even if it means saying nothing or keeping a good distance for peace sake.
Tongue of fire****
Loose lips sink ships!!!!!!!
2006-12-27 15:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by ODP 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the best advice i can give in the situation is you need to follow your heart. I have also departed ways with my mother because I got tired of feeling worthles in her eyes, right is right and wrong is wrong, the big question is do you regret saying how you feel???? if not, then move on, its hard to do but it can be done. Not every ones parents love them unconditionally as they should. I would let them know how I feel and then if they want to still act childish, walk away and say you gave it your all. that is all you really can do, I know I had to do this a little over a year ago. I get upset by it, but my mother has made no effort whatsoever so i guess in a cruel way she let me know she doesn't care any ways.
2006-12-27 16:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the relationship in this world is of a selfish nature. Give and take. A boy will never marry a girl with a burnt face, a girl an unemployed boy. A mother rears seeing the support she sees for the future, if not , then does she has the same feelings for all the kids who are even orphons?
The only true relationship is with God, no matter what culture and religion, Confide in him/her tell hin/her mentally of your problems, he may not reply but will sure listen with full care and love. Your problems may or may not dissapear, but he/she will equip you with tolorence, patience, forgiving nature and indifference to any situation good or bad. You see by getting pain you are cutting short your ego, developing your tolorence, and by getting negative feedback, you are able to see your shortcomings and get a chance to improve yourself.Life is a package it has its ups and downs, do you know onasis's only kid had died before his own eyes, that Bill Gates despite having millions has only a slice of bread for breakfast works 24/7 like a bonded labour. Happiness dosent mean good situations only. it is a state of the brain, that experiences when it experiences a favourable situation, and sadness when a situation goes wrong, being calm in both posutive and negative situatoin is an art to be mestered by patience and practice. Then whatever be the situation, be it a ferrari or day without food you will remain calm and composed in a state where there is coolness in the heart and calmness in the mind, but it requires patirnce and practice, it wont come in a single day.But do your duty as a son, a brother and have empathy, be in others shoes. And if you remain calm and care and respect others despite of their behavior , it will melt even arrila the hun, what to speak of the lady who gave birth to you and reared you up.
Once a person came to Tulsu Dass a Saint of India and asked for an mantra to subjugate the world, You know what he said. He said" Always speak sweet, and never harsh. "
What Lord Buddha did Hitler and Alexander could never achieve.What Christ did , terrorists can never achieve, Learn from it. And one more thing , When someone shouts at you , remain mute and repeat the lords name in your mind. Arguing will never help in stressfull situations, because anger has direct effect on the intellect and reasoning fails. In Transactional Analysis, we say, When Parent Ego( Do this Dont Do this, i.e. Punitive as in negative critical parent) prevails Then Reasoning that is the Adult is Zero. Best is to listen with ears and eyes. And then pacify later with data oriented feedback and not oughts and shoulds and dont try ro post mortem the situation , it will start a fresh arguement.
What is past is past, you cant change it, try to reform yourself now than trying to control others , for you can change yourself, but cant control others behaviot or the situation.
Try to find your faults and undo them rather than pondering on what others should have done. If a person by putting his mind on God can develop Divinity, then why cant by putting mind on the faults of others develop those qualities?
Try Mrditation or Progressive Muscle Relaxation, it will help you shed the stress you might be facing due to unfavorable situations.
2006-12-27 15:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by Supersnooper 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what you said to your mom to upset her so badly but in time she will forgive you!!!!
It may take a while for this to happen. The only thing you can do is sit back and wait for healing to take place. Just be nice to your mom and other family members.
What ever negative comments they make towards you I would let them go through one ear and out the other no matter how hurtful they may be. It is there anger and hurt they are spuming out on you. They want to hurt you the way you have hurt them.
Like I said I don't know what you have did or said to them. But only time will heal these wounds.
As far as you speaking your mind it is great that you can do this. But sometimes there is cause not to speak our mind even if we want to really bad. And I am sure that there have been times when your subconsciousness has told you not to say anything and you did. Listen when to your subconscious if it is telling you to back off then back off no matter how bad you want to blow.
At some point and time we have to learn to keep our mouths shut in certain situations. When it comes to jobs, friends, or family!!!
It is good to speak our minds to a certain degree. But we need to teach ourselves when this is right and when this is wrong.
Continue to be who you are but listen closely. And you will teach yourself when to speak your mind and when not to speak your mind.
As far as your sister and her pregnancy. You didn't get her pregnant. it isn't your responsability to take care of her or her baby. All you can do is be there for her as a shoulder to lean on. And help her out with the baby once in a while so she can have a break. She is the full time mom not you. But there are ways to help her out every now and then. But I wouldn't let her make me feel gulity over my freedom. She put her self in this situation not you. Becasue she has to buckle down and give up her teenage years for her baby doesn't mean you have too!!!
As far as your mom and grandmother goes you can only listen to what they have to say. They are older and wiser and maybe you are saying or doing things that you shouldn't be? Maybe they are trying to save you from a life of disaster. Maybe they are seeing the whole picture and you aren't? Some times those on the outside looking in can see what us on the inside can't.
Think of some of the advice they have given you. They wouldn't do this if they didn't love you!! Take a good hard look at your self. Is there anything about you that you should change?
Any way don't let there talk about failing in life prevail. You control your own future. You are the only one who can make your self loose or win.
My best advice is to tryin apologize to your mom again even if she says it won't help. Make it clear that you are sorry for the mistake and that it will never happen again. Tell her how much you love her and then say I understand if you can't forgive me right now but that you hope in time she will find it in her heart to forgive you for what you have did and that she will once again love you as she did before.
Tell her that you just wanted to make sure that she knew how you felt and that you don't know of any other way to make it up to her and that if you did you would do it in a heart beat because you love her that much. then again tell her you know that this may never change things between you but that you hope with in time she can find it in her heart to forgive you for what you have done.
And leave it at that. never bring it up again. And I am sure some time down the road she will forgive you. You may never totaly get back what you had with her but you can get some form of relationship back. And that is better than nothing.
Good Luck and remember you control you life. You won't fail if you don't allow yourself too!!!!!
Have A Happy New Year
2006-12-27 16:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get away from your family they r damaging to u.
2006-12-27 17:31:37 · answer #7 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋