I'm 23, graduated in biochemistry, have a job and study. I live in my own apartment w/ my mom, dad passed away. She's always been a wondeful but overprotective mom. She can't contribute to the expenses, but I don't mind. Se likes to take care of everything, my food, my clothes and me. Though I'm an adult I can't say no to her. This month I worked hard, got little sleep and a night I wanted to watch TV. She said No hun, not tonight, you need a sleep, to bed right now. She did tha tw/ so much love that I obeyed, than she put me to bed and kissed me goo dnight. A saturday I was about to leave without dinner she told me to sit down and eat dinner. I said I was in a hury, but she said no way hun, I sighed and had dinner. She likes to know where I am and at what time I'll get home. A friday I came late and forget to call her. After lunch she told me I was grounded for 2 hours to think about what I had done. I ended up obeying. Sometimes it seems I'm still a teen, but I love my mom.
2006-12-27 06:36:10 · 10 answers · asked by Sonia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to be careful about letting her manipulate you. You may love her very much, but if you feel that you can't do anything without her approval, you can ruin your life trying to please her.
This especially applies to dating, love, and independence. No one over 18 should be grounded, that's for children, and if you are paying the bills, then you are letting yourself become a victim here.
If you let her continue to dictate your life, you will be heartbroken when she doesn't approve of your boyfriend, and you will have to choose.
You must stretch out your wings and become independent.
2006-12-27 06:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by frenzee2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to start standing up for yourself or nothing will ever change & you will be 30 or 40 even with all this still happening!!
just sit your Mum down & say straight out that you love her etc & then say
'' mum this has to stop now!!! you are welcome to stay here & you can help out with the cooking & running of the house but I need to learn to do these things myself so i want to do it all my way and you can't tell me when to come home or when to go to bed or when to eat.I'm my own boss
I 'm not a child I'm all grown up!!
Find her some sort of volunteer job for her so she will get out of your hair
good luck
2006-12-27 09:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by ausblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you enjoy being treated like a child. You need to become more independent or you will never be able to have a relationship (unless you are into much older men).
2006-12-27 06:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by Maddow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let her know that your an adult and are capable of taking care of yourself. You know when your hungry or tired you do not need a babysitter. Tell her you love her and know she means well but you need to make your own decisions so you will know how to take care of yourself when she isnt around to help.
2006-12-27 07:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by funkymunky04020 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sit down with her and talk to her heart to heart tell her "mom I'm 23 an adult i think i could take care of myself dint get me wronge i love u but i think im old enough to make my own desicons and do what i want to
2006-12-27 06:43:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by using fact his mothers and fathers choose for! What approximately what you go with for? in case you do each thing his mothers and fathers choose for you will in no way stay your existence, and his mothers and fathers could have lived two times, their existence, and yours!! communicate over with him, if he has concerns approximately their well being and could choose for to be close to to verify on them is okay, yet you have a appropriate to privateness and you go with for to have some high quality time along with your husband or on my own on occasion, so her barging in like that makes one sense such as you have a public place! substitute the locks, and tell him in one greater great effective way and communicate approximately her in a great duper candy and style way, whether it somewhat is not authentic, which you particularly love her and you go with for to spend time together with her, it somewhat is in basic terms on occasion you go with for it sluggish on my own to loosen up, study, do tings around the domicile conveniently, and it may be greater delicate if I felt I even have greater privateness. tell him additionally, on occasion you're at paintings and that i choose for to prepare a effective romantic evening for the the two one people, he candles, he bath, the undies, the entire deal, yet you sense volatile that she could stroll in at any 2nd, and it stresses you. Oh and this time, do no longer make her a key replica! If "no longer getting a duplicate" will become a subject together with her too, in basic terms tell her there is no could provide you a duplicate by using fact while i'm domicile i can in basic terms enable you in, you already know. Your husband can tell her: mom, we desire to attend to stuff ourselves considering you already know we are adults and understand what's sweet for us, yet understand mom, that if (spouse's call) and that i ever choose for help with something, you would be the 1st person we come to! ... you already know in basic terms attempt to maintain the boat crusing, as some say, they hear what they choose for, you GET what you go with for. good luck!
2016-10-19 01:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is just tryin to be there for u and be a good mother. if she is really buggin u that much just sit her down and talk to her.
2006-12-27 06:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 20 and my mom does same thing to me.
2006-12-27 06:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by kclynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she means well, but maybe tell her to back off. or just ignore her advice adn don't let it bother you.
2006-12-27 06:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by Bob B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many times are you going to ask this...or are you just that bored!
2006-12-27 06:55:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋