What is the proper etiquette for when multiple people want to use one computer? Is it mean to kick someone off your computer? If so, how do you do it without hurting anyone's feelings? Should they have to ask permission first? What if it is someone who does not even live in the house, but is a friend of someone else who does live in the house?
I live with my wife and step-daughter. My step-daughter has her own computer and there is the one my wife and I share, which used to be my computer before we got married and I moved it. My step-daughters friends come over and she does not let them use her computer, but logs them in to my computer instead. She got the password from my wife. When her friends sleep over on weekends, then I hardly ever get a chance to use my computer. They are usually IMing or using MySpace. So my question is what is the right thing to do? Am I being immature by wanting to use my computer? To controlling? Paranoid by not knowing what they are doing with my comp?
2006-12-27 06:32:14 · 13 answers · asked by Pedro 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As an adult you actually need to ask this question? Just tell them to log off, IT'S YOUR COMPUTER!!!! Who cares about hurting their feelings, i assure you, they'll get over it.
2006-12-27 06:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by Josh Bastard 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds a little like your step-daughter knows how to manipulate you and her mother a little too well...
First of all, the fact that she is having friends come over and than they all just sit on the computer is sad (...does anyone else remember going over to your friends house to actually interact with your FRIENDS?). Secondly, her logging HER friends into YOUR computer is just plain rude. She has a computer...if her friends want to IM or MySpace, than they can patiently wait their turn for their friend to share.
You should speak to your wife. Explain that "Mom and Dad's Computer" is off limits to all persons not currently named Mom and/or Dad. She is not to share the password with your daughter, and your daughters friends are not to use "Mom and Dad's Computer". There will be much pouting and whining about this...stand firm...and please remember these simpe facts;
1. It is not your fault that this girls' mother and father are not together.
2. Your step-daughter is not the boss of the house. She does not decide the rules, no matter how much she screams, pouts or cries.
3. Your daughter's friends have parents. Those parents have homes. Kick the lot of them out, and send them to another parent's house for a while.
and finally;
4. Neither you or your wife need to be considered "cool" by her or her teenage friends.
Just a little warning...At some point the "You're not my FATHER!" card will be played...calmly point out that she's right, but you ARE the head of this household, and she and her friends are NOT to be on the aforementioned computer.
(By the way, its not paranoid or controlling to want to know what your child or someone elses' child is doing on the internet...this is called "parenting", an ancient and rapidly declinging skill...more and more "cool" parents who let kids drink, do drugs and have sex in their houses are being charged as accessories to all sorts of interesting crimes. With the internet is so wild, wide open and barely legislated...it would be a real shame if you ended up in prison because some sixteen year old girl's MySpace page was cited as child pornography or something...)
2006-12-27 07:10:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife about this and change the password. Let her know that its not to be used by anyone but herself or you. If your step-daughters friends want/need to use a computer while their over, they can use hers. I also don't think it's rude to kick them off the computer. It's yours after all and what are they doing on myspace and IMing if their there to spend time with your step-daughter?
2006-12-28 03:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok dude... YOU ARE THE PARENT. If you want your computer, tell the brats to go to your kids computer or go text message on their phones. You are the one working to pay for the computer and internet access, you are the one who controls the house, you are the one who says when the kids can and cannot use the computer.
Change the password. Tell your wife you would prefer if the kids did not use your computer,especially since they have one of their own.
You are being immature by not realizing that you are the adult, you are the parent, and it is your computer. Discuss this with your wife and make sure she is on board. If she has a problem with this, find out exactly WHAT her problem is and come to a compromise. Explain to your wife that you would prefer to keep one computer for adults and one for kids.
Again, YOU ARE THE PARENT!!!
2006-12-27 08:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
change the password. tell your wife it's not working for you.
tell her she can buy another computer for the daughter if
her friends really need the second one. That means your wife won't be able to use it either because she doesn't know the password. you can tell her, but only if she agrees not to give
it to the kids or log them on. or you could just agree with your wife on hours when the kids can or cannot use your computer.
yes, it seems rude to kick them off but you are the adult.
btw, this is a problem between you and your wife and has nothing to do with etiquette at all.
2006-12-27 06:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're not paranoid, and you're not being immature.
If your stepdaughter wants to share her own things with her friends, that is her perogative. Yur things are not hers to share, and that point should be made clear to her in a firm but respectful manner. If you're worried about your wife's feelings, run it by her first. Express your concerns to her, and explain that you would rather your stepdaughter not use your computer since she has her own, add to that the fact that sharing your computer with her friends is an abuse of that privilge anyway. Change the password and give it only to your wife. If your stepdaughter gets the password from your wife again, you've got a bigger issue to contend with.
2006-12-27 06:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by nyboxers73 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should hold a family council meeting and make a plan for computer use that everyone in the family knows about and agrees to. Then there will be no hurt feelings when you ask people to get off the computer.
2006-12-27 12:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that isn't extreme college, neither is it Grade college. in case you do in comparison to a question, pass directly to a distinctive. no could go away rude responses in the back of. in no way ever have your friends or your self following people around for the specific purpose of thumbing down/reporting. See the above rule. do no longer act like a spoiled toddler. Momma can no longer freshen up your mess here.
2016-10-19 01:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your password and keep it to yourself. It is your home and your computer. Your step-daughter is being very inconsiderate, actually she is pushy and rude, by assuming that her friends can use your computer without asking. If she wants them to log on, tell her they have to use hers.
2006-12-27 06:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Dude, its your computer. She has her own. Kick them off at your own will. Discuss with your wife that you feel uncomfortable to have them on your computer. Heck I don't even let my own kids on my computer.
2006-12-27 06:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by higg1966 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋