I have a girlfriend, She's great and I love her but she is not so adventurous or particularly 'naughty' when it comes to sex. I had a fling with a girl before I met my girlfriend who was a complete freak in the sack and it honestly changed my life with the perverted stuff we did. While we are not going to sleep together again, we still talk and she sends me a dirty pic of her on occasion to 'remind' me of things. She knows I wont sleep with her but we still talk about stuff on occasion through yahoo and whatnot. I just look at it as sort of a way to vent in my sex life. My girl can't get into my mail and I don't save the pics. Is this really anything wrong? I admit I wouldn't be comfortable if it was the other way around but if I didn't know about it and nothing happened so what?
2006-12-27 06:25:04 · 16 answers · asked by dave v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is a double standard in society for some things.
Women don't like it, but they want to only have the positive ones like the men are expected to pay and take care of them, etc. It would not be ok for her to be doing it because that is not normal behavior for a guy. It would likely mean she is soliciting them, or the guy is just strange and a "stalker type".
There is nothing wrong with innocent naked pictures of an ex, so long as there is no emotion involved. If you are talking to this girl because you love her or have hopes of screwing her or "keeping her in mind" then it is wrong.
However just recievieng emals is not wrong. Sending innocent emails is not wrong either. If your girlfriend finds out, she will be pissed, she will not be wrong to feel that way, but neither are you for simply sending and recieving emails where there is no emotional or sexual attachement and it is simply a friendship. It is not cheating, but it will create a problem if she finds out and she will be upset and hurt. It is also not entirely improper behavior either as she is sending and you are not requesting pictures it all depends on your intentions and reasons for talking to her. There will be a conflict of emotions.
What I think is really going on here is that you want a girl like that adventurous girl and your sex life isnt' cutting it. Your chatting with this girl fills a void that your girlfriend can't or won't do. I would suggest you chat with your girlfriend about being more adventurous and find out what her fantasies are and fullfill some of them (sexual ones, not the "buy me a yacht" one.).
2006-12-27 06:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by bluto blutarsky2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By choosing to dwell on the past you creat doorways, avenues or openings for comparrison and dissatisfaction to exist within your and the relationship.
That's what you're creating when you continue with this behavior. You're keeping your focus on the past and what use to be. Why? even if she doesn't know about it and you would feel the same way if the shoe was on the other foot... it doesn't make it right.
Just think? If you hadn't gone down the "perverted highway" with this woman you wouldn't be in this situation right now. This society tells you it's crazy to wait until marriage to engage in a sexual relationship. But just think about it. If you and your girl waited, you wouldn't need to wonder or compare her to anyone else. You would never miss what you never had.
I applaud your effort to not to cheat... but you now need to take the next step and shut that chapter of your life down with a quickness. It's unhealthy and down right disrespectful to the other person.... regardless of that fact that she doesn't know.
2006-12-27 14:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're girl isn't adventurous now,don't think she will in the future.If she is don't like to play bed games, you have caught youself a cold fish. What would you rather have, a girlfriend that just lies there a has to ask if you're done or one who would do you like a fish out of water? You better hook up with the old friend before she finds someone else.Good Luck.
2006-12-27 14:37:56 · answer #3 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't face that you're not happy with your sex life at present, and need to tempt yourself. You also probably get a kick out of having another girl 'waiting in the wings.' It's an ego trip. Chances are good that your girlfriend enjoyed sex with a past lover more than she does with you. Maybe you're just not a good match.
2006-12-27 14:29:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guilty conscious telling you something? It's normal to think of that sex if it was the best you ever had, BUT....you know it's not right keeping in contact with her so .......
2006-12-27 14:28:23 · answer #5 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! No girl wants to have thier boyfriend looking at other girls pics. Stop doing that!
2006-12-27 14:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's wrong. My ex-gf, who's engaged still does that. It's definitely cheating. Wonder if she did that to me....oh wait, that's why I dumped her.
2006-12-27 14:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ur obviously not happy with the girl ur with atm so wats the point in staying with her if u want more....do u really like this girl or just like the fact that u have someone....cos u have posted this ur obviously not sure that wat ur doing is rite so either stop it or find someone else who satifys all ur needs.
2006-12-27 14:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by make_a_wish995 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what she doesn't know won't hurt her....but if she finds out prepare to suffer the consequences. why don't you teach her to be a freak in bed?
2006-12-27 14:35:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kaos 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would considre it cheating coz when u leave this door opened it means u can get weak on at least one time.
2006-12-27 14:31:48 · answer #10 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋