December 16, 2005 my fiance proposed. We planned out everything, booked the hall, church, picked out our wedding party etc. Since that time my fiance has been laid off (he works for the state of NJ in construction) and he's been doing side jobs to make ends meet. I have a medical job which pays not so well. On top of it we can't find an apartment for under $1450 a month + utilities, have 0 money to pay for our wedding and now all of my friends are turning against me because they think this is all his fault somehow. I'm absolutley heart broken. I could care less about having a wedding, I'm ready to elope, it's fine, I just can't believe my friends have all turned against me, my maid of honor dropped out, the entire thing has gone to pieces. Any suggestions on what I should do for a cheap wedding and if you were in my shoes would you even bother to invite your so called "friends"? I can't even believe I'm on here writing all this, I'm just so at a loss right now. Comments....
2006-12-27 06:17:00 · 19 answers · asked by Jersey Style 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wedding date is 7/21/07 (for now)
2006-12-27 06:17:26 · update #1
Yeah I do live right outside NYC and yes my friends now hate my fiance since we are having fiancial problems. I thought maybe it was just me being sensitive, thanks a lot to all.
2006-12-27 06:25:23 · update #2
Scrap together what little money you have and see if you can book a trip where you can elope. Hope you didn't put deposit down on everything. You must be close to NY city for that type of rent. I live in Philly and that's my monthy house payment. Perhaps you should also look into to relocating.
2006-12-27 06:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that a wedding should be at the bottom of your list right now. Scrap the plans, because it is not going to happen at the moment.
Talk to your friends, they might be upset at something else they see in your relationship. Often, friends are able to see things that you might be just too close to see. If not, well, they are not the friends you want.
Worry about your home situation... Perhaps you have aimed for too good a neighbourhood, or are being way too picky. Please re-think, and remember it is a rental. You can always upgrade later.
Be there for your fiance. It is incredibly difficult to feel the financial stress of insecure employment, and then to have to disappoint someone you love. Be sure to support him, and to talk to him honestly. Taking the wedding off the books right now will probably be a relief for him, as he probably wants you to have exactly what you want.
Please be realistic here, and realize that the wedding is not the most important part of a marriage, or of life. Things will come together, but you have bigger fish to fry before then. And please ignore people who say to scrap together money to elope. The last thing you need to do right now is to dip into savings for a wedding... Those funds should be there until your fiance finds more secure employment, just in case.
2006-12-27 07:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by shaclare 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through with my wedding even though there was so many things going wrong, I really wish I would have eloped and saved money then had a wedding a little later. For me I loved my fiancee so much and didnt want to wait at all, but it would have been better to wait because now i have so many bad memories, and you will always have the option of a wedding later...and plus then maybe those broken friendships will mend by the time you and your fiance are ready for a wedding, money wise... also, maybe elope and if you have some money to spare still go on a little honeymoon, even if its only for a few days... that wa you two will still get a part of that "wedding" feel...email me with anything else, I have so many suggestions for you... jeterschica02@yahoo.com
2006-12-27 06:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by ashes n 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if your "friends" won't stand by you then they are not friends at all. a wedding is sacred and should be shared by those who love the both of you. Have a small quite wedding and invite those who only believe in you. If you love your man you don't have to have a big to do, some thing quite and simple. Maybe on a ten year or even a 5 year, have a large wedding and renew your vows and prove that you made it with out the help of your so called friends. It will mean alot more to you to be able to stand in front of your family and real friends and state your love and devotion.
2006-12-27 08:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would elope or have just a small family ceremony now. And later if you still want to have the big wedding and reception, have a vow renewal then.
This way you take a lot of the stress out of the situation.
To be honest I don't have much of anything to do with the "friends" that where in my wedding. But I still have my husband.
2006-12-27 07:04:15 · answer #5 · answered by Barb 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Elope. Marriage isn't about the wedding. It's about the marriage. Tell your fiance to get a job. There are lots of construction jobs in other places besides the state of NJ. Construction is booming down here in DC/MD/VA and so is medical stuff. Tell your so-called friends to kiss your butt.
2006-12-27 06:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you might want to consider postponing the wedding if you really want to save up the money for it. Or, have a destination wedding and just invite those closest to you. It's stressful enough so do whatever is easiest and makes you both the most happy. Don't worry about the others.
2006-12-27 06:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wife and I had a small wedding. Less than $6K
The less you spend on the wedding, the more there is for a honeymoon. Elope is even better. Who's the wedding for anyways? If THEY want a wedding so bad, maybe THEY should pay for it.
2006-12-27 06:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would elope like you said. It sounds like it would be fun. But it sounds they really ruined this wedding thing for you. Which is really too bad. Go somewhere for a week and get married and come home. Go to Vegas you can have a drive though wedding.
2006-12-27 15:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by nay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cancel the hall/church/etc. Get married by a justice of the peace OR delay the wedding for a bit. You could always get married by the JOTP and renew wedding vows in a nice ceremony on your five year anniversary!
2006-12-27 08:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋